Chapter 8

Mumbo Jumbo

I sat outside trying to breathe. I didn't know what to do now. Here I was going crazy over this girl I've known almost forever and she was starting to loose me. I sighed and shut my eyes.

The picture of us totally wiped, sitting on the couch exhausted from our first show flashed. As I walked out I could remember hearing the other guys going on about…us!

"Did you just see that first band? They totally fucking rocked!" I remembered and smiled.

"Spencer?" I heard the familiar voice call.

I looked up to see Alessandria sitting next to me. She looked so sweet, but tired. I could've just hugged her there! But that didn't show.

"What?" I said sourly.

"Uh…I just wanted to check on you." She said worried.

"I'm fine…just go flirt with that new man of yours." I scowled. I was angry with her now. I couldn't stop myself, I was too tired to!

"What?" she snapped.

"You know, that stupid Brit that gave you his phone number. Since you are so into him now maybe you should just go, leave me alone!" I looked at her angrily.

"SPENCER!" she slapped me hard. "How dare you! You don't even understand!"

"NO YOU DON'T UNDARSTAND!" I yelled at her. She slipped back in fear. I could see plenty of it in her eyes, but I couldn't stop myself. "You don't know what kind of shit you're putting me through! I'm trying not to shove my fingers down my throught just for you! Because I love you!"

She lie there wide-eyed and frozen.

"That's right, it's because I love you. And I have. But I see that you've found someone." I stood up and began to walk out to the van.

"Spencer?" She said choked up with tears. I looked back to see her standing. "I don't like him at all! The number he gave me was his, yes! But it's his home phone! His sister Natasha, you remember her, she lives with him now and I haven't seen nor talked to her in ages! Besides he's 27 for god sakes!"

She was crying, I ran back to her until we were face to face. I felt so guilty, so stupid, and so inhumane!

"Oh god I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions!" I held her for a second but she pushed me off.

"I'm sorry about our fling about you stopping the whole vomiting thing." She said bitterly. "If you want to be thin, then go ahead!"

"No." I said, this time meaning it. "Look at you for goodness sake!"

Suddenly she looked at me and began crying again. I held her close, this time she didn't push me away. Her face was buried in my chest. I felt like I was holding onto a feather; so beautiful and delicate. She then looked up at me.

"Don't worry about that." She whimpered. "And…I love you too."

"Oh my god!" I heard Jason scream as he busted out from the back door. Alessandria let me go and turned away, pretending to be interested in something else.

"I can't believe I lost that demo!" Jason screamed out once again. Derek stumbled out afterwards hysterically.

"Oh well, we can make another, that one was crappy!" He panted.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"That Equal Vision rep wants us to send them a demo or a link to a Pure Volume. We could get signed!" Derek said all giddy.

"WHAT?" Alessandria shouted. Derek grabbed her hand and began dancing with her.

I stood in disbelief. "That's crazy!"

"Well duh!" Jason said standing next to me. "Yet…do you really think that they will actually sign us?"

I didn't answer him. I looked out to see Derek and Alessandria on the ground laughing. I felt bad; I cared about her more than what was going on now.

As we made our way back home I looked in the front seat mirror. Alessandria was nodding off to sleep as she listened to her iPod. Derek was on his cell phone telling someone about the news excitedly. I sat back and watched the world fly past us.

"I bet Aless is excited." Jason softly laughed.

"Yea." I replied, looking back at her.

"Oh come on! Just admit it already Spence!" he said trying to keep his voice down. "You've been all over that girl since the day you two met!"

I looked at him as if he was some alien. I didn't say anything else. I just kept looking out and thinking. Suddenly I thought about how weird this would be. Very few people knew that we were actually friends, not brother and sister. And also how awkward it would be for my mother! Then I looked back at her once again. She had awoken and was just turning off her iPod. She smiled at me and all of those thoughts faded off.