And they keep telling Anabel, " You know how much he liked you, it was the hardest decision he's ever had to do. He knew you needed more."

Those words throbbed in her head. Chrristy expected her to look her in the face at least. She couldn't though. How could she? They had no fucking idea how hard it was for her to just get up. That seemed to simple yet so hard for her to do. Faking a smile the whole day just to make everyone else happy. She tried keeping busy by helping others but there is only so much she could do until she lost it. Everyone's problems seemed so small, sp exaggerated compared to hers. How sad she thought that their problems seemed like blessings to hers. Everyone wants her to be strong and independent, but she just wants to be feeble and weak so she won't have to fight her demons. Not now and not ever. Chrristy grabbed her arm to get her attention. Automatically she was pulled away from her thoughts.

"What!?" Anabel screamed.

"Pay attention to what I'm saying you dumbass. He loved you that's why he did it. You have no idea what any one would give up to have what you had!" Said Chrristy.

" Well you must be really fucking happy. I lost all of that. Like you said "loved" right? I do fucking know what a girl would give up to have what I have because I have that feeling every day! You idiot."-Anabel managed to say while holding and controlling her tears. She couldn't..wouldn't let Chrrity see her cry…ever.

"I'm just trying to help you through this. I lost one friend, I can't bear the thought of losing another one. You know we all fucking care. No matter what you think."

Anabel didn't even think about what she said. All she could think about what the pain. She needed relief she wanted Chrristy to get the hell out 3 second ago.

"Well I have my own way o dealing with things. So if you would just get your prissy ass out MY house I would stop being reminded of my hell hole I am currently living!" Anabel said getting furious. Chrristy looked as if she was figuring out a puzzle. First taking in all the info, then sorting it out and finally concluding it. As soon as she figured it out she said, "My Prissy ass isn't going anywhere until I see your arms and wrists."

AHHHH! Fuck Anabel thought. Why did I even let her in…UGH that whore… I won't show her, she'll freak. Again. While still in thought Chrristy pulled her arm outwards and up. She pulled her bracelets downward to her elbow. Trying not to hurt her. She was touching her scars and scabs trying not to cause pain. Chrristy looked at Anabel when she was doing this. Anabel felt so weird so out of place and ashamed. Her face burned with anger that she couldn't stop her from doing that. She couldn't show any signs of her searing pain. She counted the cuts on one arm then the other arm. 53 cuts in total.. Some small but the ones that caught her eye was the long ones that were deep. She put Anabel's hands down and almost ran to the closet where the meds. are kept. Took out the bottle and counted the pills and then read the label on the bottle.

" He would be so fucking proud to have died for this bullshit you are doing right now. He said you stopped. How could you do this to him after all he has done for you. You didn't deserve him. Fucking wasting your life. I regret coming here. And I was actually going to try and help." Chrristy told Anabel.

"I told you to fucking leave. Even dogs know what that means. And they know not to kick eachother when they are down. Guess you don't know shit then Huh." Anabel said to Chrristy.

Anabel walked to the door and told Chrristy, " Leave. I have my own conscious to torture me I don't need you."

Chrristy walked to the door and tried to look at her but she turned away. Chrristy left the outside of the house, But didn't really leave. Chrristy's parents were visiting Anabel's parent's. Anabel locked herself in the room. 30 seconds later she dug her skin and took pills to forget this world that lately hasn't shown that much compassion to her. She woke up to the scream of her mom. She was screaming obscenities. Great way to wake up she though. She looked at her clock that was on her desk. It was 9:30 p.m. She took the pills at 9:05 a.m.. In a weird way she was happy that for those 12 hours she didn't do anything. She wasn't hurt for 12 hrs., she wasn't depressed or sad. She was numb. The greatest feeling besides love.