My love for Patrick Cross was like an unquenchable thirst. No matter how much I was around him it was never enough. He was my drug. He was the thing that got me through the day. Patrick Cross was the one that brought me down harder then anything ever could have.

It was because of him that this party was happening. It was his fault that this part was going to change our lives. It was a recipe for disaster; it was going to be bad, and not at all pretty. If only we knew. If only we knew.

For the rest of the week, my focus was far from school and more tuned toward the party. After much deliberation on how the party was going to happen, Steffie won. It was destined to be a party that no one was going to forget, and Steffie got what she wanted, everyone remembered this party and the effects of it until the day that they died. This was the kind of party that I could get arrested for. A party that as much as I hated to admit it, I was excited for.

As the week carried on, Lauren and I pushed to make the party somewhat exclusive. Sure, I may have been hosting the party, but that didn't mean that I was on the party committee. My older brother Carmine was going to be getting the kegs. He was more then thrilled to be participating in the corruption of American's youth. Ever since he had to enter the 13th grade of Sunnyside, He gave up on college and further education. Whenever Steffie or someone wanted to throw a huge party, he was the one to call. It made him feel better about himself, made him feel like he was doing something.

I listened as the bell rang, signaling the end of fifth period. As the bell stopped the sound that filled the room was that of the busy halls. I tried to keep my head straight, I tried to not thing about where I was or what I was doing. But when his lips came against mine hard, it was difficult not to remember what was happening.

"So this party that your having…its going to be good? Big? Is Carmine going to be there?"

I frowned looking at Mike. Why did he have to do that? Make me feel guilty and used? Why did he feel the need to talk to me like we were just friends and that was all we were ever going to be.

"Yeah, its going to be big…You know, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?" He zipped up his pants.

"The whole after sex talking thing."

"But I like talking to you, you know that."

"Yeah, but if you like talking to me so much, and you like sleeping with me so much, then why don't you leave Erika?" I had sunk low. I had become that woman that you see on TV shows that has no feelings, that is selfish and only cares about what she wants, even if that means leaving a path of destruction as she blows through town.

"Can we talk about this later, Mel? I have to take Erika to lunch and I don't want her to get any kind of suspicious." I slid my the shell to my uniform over my arms, then turned my back to him as I finished getting dressed. I was done. I knew deep in my heart that he wasn't going to leave her. Not now, not ever. I wished he would. Oh there were many days when I wished that he would leave her, and carry me away on his white horse.

Sometimes I forget my life isn't a Disney movie and that there isn't always a prince. Sometimes I forget there isn't a happily ever after for the girl that is sleeping with a taken man. Sometimes I forget.

The more I considered what I wanted to say to Mike, the more I didn't want to have the conversation. He would get mad, say that I was un appreciative, then I would grovel, and beg him to take me back. He would, and continue to treat me like he owned me. Asshole.

Maybe there was truth in what Erika was saying, maybe all I did was crave attention. Maybe we would watch how my attention craving was going to take me down maybe just maybe.

I had to walk out of that closet with dignity. Hold my head high, and act like I wasn't screwing the captain of the football team. Dignity. When walking out of that closet, and being greeted by Patrick Cross's accusing eyes, you loose all sorts of dignity.

"Mike Deluka?" I held my breath and walked over to him, trying to make myself meet his gaze.

"And what's it to you?"

"I just didn't take you for the cheating type."

"Well, you don't know me." He had that amused look on his face. As much as I wanted it to be him in that janitors closet with me, at the same time, I wanted to smack that smirk off his face.

"No, you think I don't know you." I opened my mouth to say something more to him, but found myself unable to. Maybe he was a little bit right. Maybe he did know me. How, I don't know, but maybe he did. As the late bell rand, he nodded at me, that stupid smirk still on his face.

I found myself unable to think about the football game, or my party, or anything else for that matter. My mind was in one sour place, Patrick Cross. As much as I didn't want to admit it, he made me curious. He acted like he knew me, he acted like he was king of the world, and that nothing could touch him. Something could bring him down, I just had to figure out what that something was.

Spending most of your time at school is never un, but doing it while your brother is preparing for a party for himself, his friends and a bunch of high school-ers? Well, its spelled danger. I had no choice, much to my dismay. I was stuck at the game, watching Steffie oogle over Tom. At least I wasn't the only one drooling.

"Steff! Attention, Phu-leeze." I looked at her waiting for her to get this practice going, however my attention was dragged away as Patrick and Ian walked over to Tom, both of them looking somewhat urgent. Tom looked at them, then frowned, turning to leave the practice. All the cheerleaders were engrossed now.

Steffie hardly cared for the rest of the practice or game. She was too focused on getting to the party, then seeing Tom again. My head was still lost. Stuck on the looks on their faces, and why they were worried. My aunt always said that I was nosey, a problem that would bite me in the ass one day.

After finishing the game, wining of course, everyone that had been invited to my party, rushed home to shower and get ready for a night of body shots, whipped cream bikinis, and skinny dipping. The trip to my house seemed like it took forever, and waiting for people to show up took longer.

"What time did you say this party is going to start?" I looked over at my brother Carmine who was sitting on the kitchen island, beer in hand. The game had ended an hour ago, and we had spend all that time putting valuables away. I went to answer him, opening a bag of chips, when the door bell rang. The first wave of partiers had arrived. "Oh. That's when their coming." He said with a shrug. I turned to answer to the door to fnd my nearest and Dearest at the door.

"So, I got the whipped cream, and the cherries, where do you want me to put them?" Steffies perky voice reach out to me from the porch. I could see Lauren following her with a bag of items. My first assumption was that it had to be the whipped cream and such for the party but I instead found a bag full of bed sheets. I held up one of the packs and gave Steffie a look.

"I figured you wouldn't want to sleep in your bed after Tom and I were done in there, so I brought my own sheets, and more in case some other people get frisky tonight."

"No one is having sex but me," I looked over at my brother making a face as he winked at Steffie, leaving an invitation open to her. He walked out of the room with a box of plates and other breakable objects as the preparation continued.

"Sorry, Carm, been there, done that, and it wasn't exactly memorable."

"Aww, you just bitter cause I didn't call you the next day." I made a face at the two of them, not wanting to re live their past sexual experiences. I knew that many of my friends found carmine attractive, and I knew that many of them had also gotten to know Carmine better then I ever would (And ever wanted to thank you very much.)

As the flood of partiers came, I found my self searching every face in the crowd. Every senior and junior in my school was there that night, everyone welcoming in the best year of their lives, the last year of their high school careers. For some of them, The last year of their lives at all. My attention was not to the dorks that weren't supposed to be there, but instead to where Patrick was, and when he would be getting there.

His arrival was shortly after my third beer, and my second vodka shot. The bottle of tequila was heavy in my hands as a drifted from room to room. As I brought the bottle to my lips, I started to take a sip, then found myself falling. A pair of hands grabbed hips, to keep my forehead from meeting the corner of a table.

"Careful there boozy." Patrick's voice was loud over the blaring music. Maybe a live band wasn't a great idea. Considering my intoxication level, I was in no place to be really remembering what happened that night. Most of it was told to me by Patrick, a huge joke to him. He found my embarrassment thrilling, I found his arrogance annoying.

"I am just fine," I snapped pulling myself up straight. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Coming, a little late, but she'll be here." He seemed positive to that. After a few moments of glaring at him, we eventually parted ways. Patrick went off to fine the booze, and I ventured off to finish the bottle that I had already started. When reunited with Patrick, my drunkenness had gotten out of control, and as I pranced around my back yard, I knew in the back of my mind that there was no way that I was going to be living this down.

"Who wants body shots! I know someone does, whose the lucky guy going to be tonight to get a nice piece of this." With that, I tossed my shirt to the side, and watched as it landed on some guys head. Eyes widened as I walked around, with my skirt and bra on.

"I'm game." I looked over at Scott, then frowned.

"Anyone? Anybody at all?"

"I said I would."

"Patrick, since your 'girlfriend' came late, maybe she wont mind." I flashed a smile at him, even as I was mocking the existence of his girlfriend.

"I won't?" I turned around and came face to face with the poster girl for Miss United America. I found myself intimidated by the beauty and grace the emitted from her. Her glare was burning my skin, and it only stopped when she looked away from me to look at Patrick. His eyes widened as she met his eyes, his hands gently grabbed my shoulders, and pushed me off his body. Silence had enveloped the people standing nearby.

"Wow. She's pretty."

"I know I am. Patrick, shall we?" She looked at me with distaste, then snatched Patrick's hand dragging him away from me. Standing at the back door were two other beautiful girls. The red head lead Patrick out with her, the short chubby black haired girl followed her, as for the blond with them, she shot me a dirty look then pranced behind her friends.

The rest of the night was a blur after that. Steffie told me that she found me passed out on a raft in the front yard. Of course, I couldn't remember what happened, but for some reason, the boy that left the party before any one else, knew more about what happened to me that night then any one else.

a/n

un edited, still some stuff that will be added in, and of course taken out.

do tell what you think.

stuckintwilight