8CHEATING
Amanda: Darn it!
Evan: What?
Amanda: We own stocks from Kill co., don't we?
Evan: I believe so.
Amanda: Are you sure?
Evan: Yes.
Amanda: Really?
Evan: Yes
Amanda: Are you positively sure?
Evan: Let me check. Yes.
Amanda: Oh Man!
Evan: Oh Woman!
Amanda: Oh shut up!
Evan: Oh shut down!
Amanda: Come on, we're wasting time!
Evan: Why did you need to know?
Amanda: Why don't you check smarty-pants.
Evan: Hmm. There's nothing in my pants except my balls, and my-
Amanda: No, look at the screen!
Evan: I'm your broker, you idiot! I've memorized your stocks from the company profile to the last five years' increase and decrease.
Amanda: And what do you think?
Evan: It went down two cents today, no big deal!
Amanda: It's a huge deal! We must take action!
LATER THAT NIGHT
Amanda: Okay, let's review our plan. You know Kill co. is a contract killing company, right?
Evan: No, I'd never heard that before.
Amanda: Evan!
Evan: Amanda!
Amanda: So, we'll hire them to kill all the stock market workers, okay?
Evan: Wouldn't that cost a lot of money?
Amanda: Yes, that's why we rob a bank or two.
Evan: You know we could just counterfeit a couple hundred million dollars.
Amanda: After they kill all those people, Kill co.'s stocks will skyrocket!
Evan: Won't we go to prison?
Amanda: Yes, but our stocks will be high.
Evan: And we'll be rich!
Amanda: That's the point. Yes. So, I'll just get my handy-dandy portable counterfeit machine!
Evan: It looks like an oversized harmonica.
Amanda: Do you always have to be so random?
Evan: Random? How is that random? Here, I'll say something random.
Amanda: What?
Evan: Will you make out with me?
Amanda: Well you are kind of attractive, maybe another time. Okay! Back to the plan!
Evan: Isn't that all?
Amanda: I guess so.
Evan: So...?
Amanda: Mmmmmm! You're a really good kisser!
Evan: Yeah, I practice on my arm.
THE NEXT DAY
Amanda: I made $500 million last night in the machine.
Evan: Great! That president of the stock market has got to go first. I'll order for him to be burned alive, and that vice president, EW! He'll be stabbed 600 times right in the back, that back-stabber!
Amanda: Okay! Our fake identities are Leonardo DiCaprio, and Sandra Bullock, okay?
Evan: Right.
LATER THAT DAY
Evan walks in.
Amanda: Evan, you're back.
Evan: Did you just now figure that out?
Amanda: Are they doing it today? The murdering?
TV (reporter's voice): At 11:30A.M. today, the president of the stock market, Myayn Isisbig, and the vice president, Myhoelis Carapie were found dead. Myayn died of being burned in his oven alive. Myhoelis died of being stabbed 600 times in the back. Strangely, there were no suspects suggested or fingerprints. Their wives were also found dead.
Amanda: Crap, that'll cost extra.
Evan: Turn it off.
ONE MONTH LATER
TV: Weirdly, every worker of the New York Stock Market has died. All at different times, and different days. Still, no evidence has been found. Right now, an illegal company called Kill co. is number two in the world. Except for Microsoft, which made the Xbox.
Amanda and Evan: YES!
TV: But today, the stock market sadly has crashed. Every company is out of business.
Amanda and Evan: CRAP!
Door: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Police: This is the police! Open up!
Amanda and Evan: CRAP!
Evan opens door.
Evan: Hello?
Police: You guys are under arrest! Stick your hands in the air!
Evan: In the air? The air is made up of several gasses composed of groups of subatomic particles, known as atoms. We can't stick our hands in the air.
Police: Shut up!
Evan: One gas is oxygen. Another is Carbon Dioxide. Another is fsttttttttttt.
Police: Ew! He just farted!
Evan: Did you just now figure that out?
Inexperienced Policeman: Hey! Look! It's a harmonica! Can I have it? Oh please? Pretty please? With whip cream and cherries, and pizza on top?
Police: That's disgusting! I guess you can have it.
Amanda: Hey! That's my miniature counterfeit machine! That was expensive!
Evan: Can you ever just keep your mouth shut, Amanda!?
Police: So, that's 25 years more in prison than you already have.
Evan: AMANDA!
Police: Let's see, you already have prison for life, so that's… eternity! Your body will rot there. Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever…
Amanda: Huhhhhh…
Evan: Amanda! Help! She fainted!
Police: Did you just now figure that out?
Evan: Oh shut up!
NEW YORK STATE PRISON
Amanda: It only went down two cents. Maybe I should have never complained.
Evan: You're just now thinking about that!?
THE END