He was gone. He would never come back, gone forever. She hadn't realied how serious he was when he said that he couldn't live without her.

"Hey Ally! I've got great news!" he ran up to her, breathless with excitement and from running across the campus.

"Take a breather Luke, can't having you die on me!" she replied.

He looked in her eyes and said, "She said yes." Her heart broke but she put on a sincere smile for him.

"Don't you feel lucky?"

"I know! I can't believe it." he plopped down on the worn bench as she looked out on the rest of the campus.

That day was almost a year ago. Ally sat there with his head cradled in her lap, her eyes red from the tears that had yet to stop. Medics entered the bedroom and she subconsciously noted that lights from the police car flashed brightly on his walls.

"I love her you know. I know that we haven't been going out long but, I don't know. I just feel it." he told her after school when they were walking home. She remembered because both their cars were in the shop and that day had been the coldest day she had ever felt. She turned to him, "Have you told her?" Her world was crumbling but if loving his girlfriend made him happy, so be it.

"Not yet. I'm going to wait until Valentine's Day. The romantic holiday and all that jazz." He ran his fingers through his dark hair. A sure sign of his nervousness.

She gave him a friendly hug and pulled away after reassuring him. "Don't worry, she has to love you back. You're a great guy and she is most definitely the lucky one in the relationship."

He didn't say anything as they continued walking home.

Multiple medics were trying to peel her away from him. She wouldn't budge. She couldn't. How could she? He had taken his life because he was miserable. And she hadn't been there for him. She had betrayed him. When he needed her the most as a friend, she had foolishly told him how she felt. She looked down a his cold body, ignoring the blood that marred his handsome features. She stroked his cheek, feeling the slight stubble. She combed her hand through his hair and it came back wet with his blood. A floorboard creaked and she looked up to see his mother, reaching for her. Ally ran to her embrace and they sobbed together.

"Hey Ms. H! How are you this morning?" Ally queried brightly while settling down to a waffle while Luke finished getting ready.

"Oh, same old, same old. Have you gotten accepted into that college yet?" Ms. H placed a bottle of syrup in front of Ally's plate.

"Haven't heard from them yet. I really hope that I do, that would be so awesome. It'd be like a dream come true."

"I hope you do too Ally. You are like a daughter to me, you know, and that would make me proud." the older woman smiled gently. Ally blushed slightly and nodded.

"Hey! You gave her one of my waffles ma! No fair, I'm a growing boy you know." Luke burst in, torn jeans slung low on his hips and his dark blue long sleeved shirt hinting at the muscles underneath.

Ally snorted while Ms. H just chuckled.

Ms. H and Ally held each other while the medics confirmed what they both already knew.

Luke was gone and had left them to suffer. His cause of death, one fatal gunshot wound to the head. One of the medics had pulled Luke's sleeve up to check for a non-existent pulse and noticed angry red marks along with faded scars. Ally cried even harder. By being selfish, he hadn't felt like he could confide in her and this was the result. Why couldn't she have been a better friend? Why did he have to leave? It wasn't fair! Ms. H was silent through the entire ordeal, she merely held Ally, knowing how the girl had felt about her son.

"You like my son, don't you?" the question was met by silence. Then a hesitant, "Yes, I do."

Ms. H sighed, knowing her son, he would be oblivious. "For how long?"

"I can't really say. It almost feels as if it was always there. And now he loves this girl. How am I supposed to tell him now?" she started crying quietly.

"Just tell him how you feel. He's smart. At least I raised him to be that way." Ally gave a weak laugh. "Thanks, Ms. H."

"Don't go thanking me. I haven't done anything. Just telling you the truth."

She was walking to his house when her cell rang. It was Luke, he sounded really upset.

"She was, at his house. They were in bed together. He, she...why?" She immediately wrapped him in a hug and he hugged her back fiercely. "Who's 'he', Luke?" she muttered.

"Alex." he literally growled out the name of his best friend. Ally wasn't surprised, she had seen them eyeing each other the other day. She squeezed him and rubbed small circles on his back, relishing the closeness.

"She didn't deserve you, you know."

"Ally, that is not what I want to hear right now. There must be something I'm lacking, I mean why else would she cheat? I can't live without her." he mumbled, pulling away. Ally slapped upside the back of his head. "Don't go having a pity party, unless I can join." He gave her a confused glance. "And why would you have a pity party?"

Ally took a deep breath, "Because I love someone, and he doesn't notice it," she stared him straight in the eyes, "and because he is my best friend."

A first, it didn't register and his face flickered with confusion, then anger.

"I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me and you say that," he paused before continuing, "So you said all those negative things about her because you were jealous?"

"No! Well, a little bit, but I knew she wasn't good for you."

"And you think you would be better for me? You know what? I don't give a fuck. Get out of my house. I don't want to talk to you right now." he spat out in disgust. Ally sat back, shocked, trying to register what he had told her. She couldn't ever remember him yelling at her like that.

"Are you deaf? I said get OUT!" he bellowed. Ally ran out of the house with his voice ringing in his ears.

Luke ignored her. He went out of his way to avoid her at school, they no longer shared rides to school, she no longer went over to his house, nor he to hers. That went on for two months until she had enough. She was going to go over to his house and explain everything to him, whether he wanted to or not.

She entered the quiet house using the key hidden under the welcome mat. She knew Luke's mother wasn't home because only Luke's car was in the driveway.

She trudged up the well worn carpet-covered stairs and stopped outside his door. She was nervous and scared. What if he yelled at her like he did last time? What if he just ignored her? She took a deep breath and her heart stopped in the next second. She heard a gun go off in Luke's room. She tore open the door and screamed. He was lying on the floor next to his bed, blood staining the clean carpet. Ally ran over to him and felt his neck for a pulse, it wasn't there. She screamed again. A scream so full of emotion that the world seemed to go silent for a brief instant. She picked his head up and held it to her chest, rocking back and forth much like a mother would her child, her tears mixing in with his blood.

She stared at the gun he still held in his hand and grabbed it and through it across the room with all her might, as if doing so would make the horror go away. It only left a dent in the wall. She looked back down at him. He couldn't be dead. This was all a bad dream. She pinched herself and felt the sharp pain but refused to believe that he was gone. "Luke? Wake up. Come on. I have something I need to tell you. Come on, wake up sleepy head. Luke. Luke! Wake up Luke!" she shook him vigorously before giving up and continued rocking back and forth.

Ally read the newspaper clipping after she had cut it out. '18 year old commits suicide, one gunshot to the head.' That was as far as she could get without bawling her eyes out. She placed the clipping on a page in her scrapbook dedicated to Luke and their friendship. She closed the book before heading over to the funeral. She had started the scrapbook awhile ago, to give to Ms. H when she and Luke went off to college. Only she wasn't expecting to finish it so soon.