Black Hole

You orbit him now
And what was
Your steady sun
Is a forgotten star
No galaxy surrounding
This lonely one
But you can't
Change orbits
Just like I can't stall
My degeneration
Nearly a black hole now

4144

Your desperation
And quick footsteps
On the pavement
Are sick
Your diseased enslavement

But I guess
You couldn't walk
An hour less
To see me to
Just one night's rest

Never will ring
An unanswered
Call from him
Do you prefer to my smile
His ugly poison grin?

Is it that 4144 somehow
Tremors louder on the nightstand
Than my shattered brow
Than my shattered life
That never wakes you somehow

Best Friends

Two best friends
Fucking my best girl
And chief doesn't know
That he's sharing
And that he loses every time
She starts comparing

And if I didn't love
Fucking and loving her myself
I'd tell you to your scarred face
That your best blonde friend
Is taking a cut
Of what she's got to lend

I'd trade a chance to punch you
To blow that whistle
And cause a punk rock Chernobyl
That bullshit songs can't clean up
Be careful Johnny Rotten
Careful what you fuck

Sorry

Breaking you
Is the only way
To leave a mark
I'm sorry I
Never hit or hurt you
I'm sorry I'm

The one in the dark
Feeling gently
The deepest scars

I Came Again

I came again and again
To tell you of the love I had
And you held me like
My prophecies were
The only future you needed

And your touch
Like the dark night
Hid your hand and weapon within
Until you came to tell me
My prophecies were dreams

Suffering through open wounds
Of your drunken trigger squeeze
Clearing blood from thoughts and throat
I came back to tell you that
You can never unpull this trigger

Otis and Franklin

Otis and Franklin don't fight anymore
I don't need to pull them apart
Or wipe away Franklin's young tears
And promise him one day
He will be just as strong

They don't laugh at their mother
Beautiful to them and me
Muddy against her full will
They don't laugh at how camping
May never be her thing

Neither climb between us
In our own universe of down and linen
After a bad dream
That in silence and slow trembling
Only I can understand

Their inquisitive eyes of color
Underneath beautiful, curly hair
Won't come eagerly
To ask me questions I've been
Dieing to answer

Parallels

We run now like parallels
One forward, another back
Even if you slow down or turn around
We will never meet again
No matter how many times we pass

I was willing to break
The laws of everything
To let uncrossable paths cross
But no matter how I rewrite them
You'd never respect my laws

Trumpet Solo

To many ears I am many things, I can be the waking before a day of war, I can be war itself, more often I am just jazz, a feeling that lasts, as long as I'm performing, maybe even as long as you can remember my tune.

I can be silent or split ears, I've been made to love and I've been played and played, to those impatient, I usually meet their ears as obtrusive, but to you, yes to you, I thought I could just be music.

For Free

The love, the love I need
And everything, that is sacred, to me
You give to him, nakedly and for free

You knew it would kill me to lose your embrace
You'd lie to me and deny to my face
And even behind your silent written wall
Until deciding that I shouldn't care at all

Your words say your love is beside me now
But knowing my anguish, you stomp on as you were, somehow
When I salt my face, you salt yours with shame
But when my eyes dry, helplessness to stop is your favorite claim

The love, the love I need
And everything that is sacred, to me
You give to him, nakedly and for free

Somehow his manic words dug him in deep
And his unwarranted hate for you will keep
A place for him between your cold white thighs
And a place for him behind your empty eyes

The love, the love I need

Will never again taste so sweet
As is did before you sold everything
For free

Untitled

The extent of it, over the horizon perpetually. It's further than you'll ever see. Because you listen like a hummingbird sits still. And you hum over my calling like you always will. Fault is all you won't take. Somebody else is to blame for your every mistake. The gap between you and your mother is gone. I can see. I can smell where you come from.

I've been there for you since before you were there for yourself. I stood to hold you standing while you loved everyone else. And in the moment I fell you would not be pulled down. Hum high in your new life over mine silent in the ground. I will be your jester from below. But understand that you now walk alone. There aren't any one-way streets. No one-ways to a two-way peace.

Empire

When I trembled like a nervous empire
Silent to those not at its heart
Needing only a soothing hand
I reached out to find cold rubble around me

You brought enemies to my walls
my walls that fell by the time
I realized your words of loyalty
Were a soothing way to the cold rubble around me

Like an Ottoman, my back was home to your heels
While I was a sick man
My falling to treason is shameful
So I'll crawl now, out of this cold rubble around me

I realize now that you aren't
Land I can claim, but a commodity I can't contain
That begs to be shared at the marketplace
That begs me to sit tight in the cold rubble around me

Gifts

Your mother gives you
Many gifts
Her hair and skin
Half of her shoulders
She pays for school
For this, for that
She gives you abilities
You never had to work for
Like how to look in a set
Of adoring eyes
And say 'I love you'
As a pacifier that
Sounds like you meant it
While you charge on
Proving otherwise
And the ability to
Convince yourself
That you never did