-1Glancing up at the sky, watching the shades of blue swim and merge into one another, dancing with the pale white clouds in the far away sky, drifting on the salty warm summer wind, and wishing it was not so.

Reaching out my hand, so small and frail compared to the expanding sky, I feel the suns warmth on my pale white skin.

I feel its passion burn, it's lust for the sky and to shine, to give it's light to the world, for everyone to gaze upon and praise. For such passion and so bold, I flinch away, taking sanctuary in the shade.

Looking to the sky with searching eyes I look for the reason. For such brightness, linked with joy and such gaiety, why do I only feel such harsh relentless cruelty?

The sun glaring at me with its eye of melting flame. The sky of day has no time for me, so as the sun, for it is vain. It sees no reflection of it's self in the mirror of my soul, as not myself reflected in it's wide array.

So I search, eyes and hopes raised to the sky, searching for a space that could be mine within this world. Dreaming of stories told to me as a small child of people who found their spot in this sky, high above us all. It's in this sky, of blue and light, that my family and friends abides. This world I was born into, but as I search, I am not there.

Each day I wake, wiping the crusting sleep from my eyes, climbing up onto my knees, turning to the window above my head, pushing the starched curtain material aside, and search with eager eyes. Since long before I can remember, I have reached up for the sun, hoping it would embrace me as it has everyone I love.

Trembling fingers slowly spreading through the years, so small, expanding each year. My hands are bigger now, almost the size of my mothers, I reach to grasp the sun once more, and it slides through my fingertips.

Hope slowly abandons, with what do I have left? This joy my friends speak of, I cannot see. To bask in the blaze, I am devoid. A face full of sunny dreams, glowing in golden light, skin delightfully warm, you reach your hand to me, which I am hesitant to take. Such happiness, such warm feelings, it is to me as burning. My world is smoldering, a world to despair.

I turn to glance at you, and I know it is for you, a world to love. You're every being is of the light. It hurts me to be with you.

You smile, and I am blinded by the brightness.

You laugh, and it is like rolling heat waving over me.

You speak, and your very words burn at my flesh, causing the skin to blister.

And when you look my way, my skin is flaking, burnt away, caught in this agonizing light.

But for you I'll look back, straight into this blazing heat, and smile for you. I'll hide the pain, dash away the tears, and try not to flinch. Because for your happiness I'll stake my wellbeing.

This world of mine is not for you to bear, nor for you to ever know. Such stiffening depressing airs, I know, would be the death of all that is you.

So I'll smile, and take your hand, laughing as your touch burns me away. I'll go where you want to go, we'll spend days out in your heartfelt sun. All to make you happy, that's all that matters.

And when the clouds gather and rain falls, and your fires are snuffed out, I'll be there to shelter you. I'll be there to make you smile, to remember days of sunshine and light, and you will not feel the pressing cold all around you.

This fleeting cold soothes my wounds, but for you, I'll pray the sun to shine again, however much it pains me.

So this life I'll hold on for you, I wont fade away. But if I hide away, and seem to recede into the shadows, I ask, will you wait for me? This sun burns me so deep, my wounds I will not have your dear eyes see. So I'll take this time to mend, wait for me, and I promise, you'll see my smiling face again.

These burns I'll take, but I wont regret a single one, because your smiles I'll make. Your smile makes me smile, so the end is always justified.