"Reid, what the hell?"

"Huh, what?!"

"I just heard a noise, did you fart or something?"

"Huh, what?!"

"Did you fart, Dude?!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"That noise...either you farted...or it was something else."

"W-why would I fart?"

"Because...you're Reid."

"No, you're a towel!"

"...A towel?"

"No, you're a towel!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"


"Just shut up so I can listen."

"For farting?!"


"Are you going to fart?"

"Just...shut up."


At this point, Chaz was getting fed up - beyond belief.



"Don't fart!"

Chaz lurched forward, wrapping his hands about Reid's throat.


"Bullshit, you little weasel."

"Oh my god, am I a weasel?!"

His fingers pressed tighter against Reid's jugular vein.

"Not again," Reid groaned.

"Again, what do you mean by again?" spat Chaz.

"This happens a lot..."


"When I go to funky town..."

"So why the hell ain't you dead yet?"

"Wait, I'M NOT DEAD?!"

"Not fuckin' yet."

"Snacks in a cane!"

Chaz rammed Reid's head into the surface beside them, "I said SHUT THE FUCK UP."


"Whatever, man, just fucking go!"

"Panda bear!" repeated Reid, pointing to something in the darkness. Chaz looks over his shoulder, holding to the other man's throat still. It's then that he saw the figure stalking in the darkness.

"What the...?"

Suddenly the panda began running away and REID followed it, dragging CHAZ with him.

"What the crap are you doing, Reid?!"


"Slow the fuck down."

"This is a safari!"

"What the hell?"

"We've been hunting this beast for THREE YEARS!"

"...Beast...you mean...the panda?"

"Shhhhh Mr. Sherlock, the tea will get cold."

"Tea; what tea?"

"The tea that we are delivering to baker's wife."

"What about the Panda?"


"Wait, what is that ahead, that's definitely not a panda bear."


"No, it looks like a...ll...ama..."





"The bank..."

"We're nowhere near a bank."

"That's because it's running away!"

"Where was the bank before, I didn't see it?"

"SHHHHH It might hear us!"


"It's the mongoose."

"Where the hell did the mongoose come from?"

"It runs the bank."

"What about the panda?"


"Yes, now where are we going?"

"Our chaffeur is taking us to the dance, silly."


"I can see the lights of Las Vegas!"

"At the dance?"


"I'm so confused."

"Weeeee are the champions, my friiieeeeeeend!"

Chaz glanced over his shoulder, looking for the panda. It was no where in sight. "What the hell?"

"Shhhh the lion's are coming!"

Then, it hit Chaz. They had arrived. Reid looked around before breaking out with trumpet sounds emitting from his mouth.

"Where's everyone else?" asked Chaz.

The muscles in Reid's neck flared as he continued with his noises, his cheeks turning a dark shade of red. Suddenly on the opposite side of the arena, a soaking wet Phillip and Holly appeared.

"What the hell is all over you?"

"We're not sure, but are you covered in gas?"


"Can you just taste yourselves and see?"

Without hesitation, Reid lifted Chaz's arm, licking up the length of it.

"I didn't know you were a gas station!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, you Moron?!"

"You are made of gas!"

"I am not made of gas, it's not possible."

"Well you are GASSY!"

"I taste like gas?"

"Yeah, now TASTE ME, TASTE ME!"

"Dude, you're sick...taste yourself."


"Taste it yourself."


Chaz looked to Phillip and Holly, "You see what shit I've had to put up with?"

"He's charming..." said Phillip.

"Then you like his fucking wienies."


"Phillip, lick his elbow."

"I don't need to."

"Why not?"

"I've already discovered that we are all covered in gasoline..."

"When did you find this out?"

"A while back..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't even know where you were!"

"Well, where the hell is everyone else?"

"Still inside, I'm guessing."

"Where have you two been?"


"No shit?"

"No shit."

Chaz looked to Holly, staring at her.

"You're sure being awful quiet..."

She'd blink a few times, "Mm...?"

"Don't you have any input you want to add in?!"


"Anything you may or may not know."

"What would happen if you were born with your head on backwards, but every other part of your body was the same?"

"Excuse me?"

"Haven't you ever wondered about that?"

"W-why would I?"

"We're going to die soon, so you might as well think about things you'd never think of," lifting her shoulders as her vision blurred.

Phillip suddenly said, "Anyone think we should try to find the others?"

"We just found ourselves, why should we find them?" asked Holly bluntly.

"It's the nice thing to do, we could save lives."

"Shit, I can't even get my own ass out of here, let alone anyone else's."

"Well...I'm going."

"Have fun getting back out."

Without saying another word, Phillip tromped into the darkness from which he came.

Rolling her eyes, Holly sighed, traipsing after him. Despite this probably getting them killed, she felt safest with Phillip.

Phillip heard footsteps behind him, and continued walking. "I thought you weren't going to leave from that spot, Hol?"

"I changed my mind..."


"So how are we going to do this?"

"I don't know, you have any ideas?"

"No, and I don't want to get killed, Phillip."

"You'll be fine, Sweetie."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're with me, as long as we stick together, it'll be okay."

"Okay," said Holly, taking a hold of Phillips arm.

With a smug smile, his eyes searched the darkness. Slowly they lurched forward, looking for the rope. And then, it hit them. In the balls. And in the head. And maybe the side! And on the tongue! But not in the bung! Or the thing!

"Let's get going!" said Phillip.

"But what about the thing that all yeah?!"




"Kay, let's go."


"Up this rope."

"Oh yeah!"

"Ladies first."

"Do you need me to help you?"


"Kay, first, take the knot in your hands."

"Excuse me?"

"The end of the rope..."

"Oh yeah...right!"

"What were you thinking, Hol?"

"I thought you said ladies first!"

"I was kidding."

Holly frowned in the darkness. Taking a hold of the rope, she looked to where Phillip would be if she could see him.

"Ugh, give me the rope," said Phillip.

"Well, come here, then."

Holly felt Phillip place his warm hands on hers. Then his warm breath to her cheek. She shivered and gasped. His lips brushed her cheek.

In a smooth whisper he said, "I'm here."

Her eyes slid to a close, a low mumble rumbling her throat, "M'hm."

"Right...where you...want me."

Holly's face tilted to the side, moving closer to his mouth.

Suddenly he pulled away and said, "We-we should get moving."


Holly took her hands from Phillip and took a step back. As he shifted in front of the rope, his body brushed her own. The feeling of his body disappeared as his voice said, "'Kay, I'm ready."

"So get climbing," replied Holly.

"You're stupid."

"Yeah, point?"

"I hope you break your neck."

"Get your ass up there, Phil."

"I said ladies first, you ass."

"Then why the hell did you move me out of the way, Jerk?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, excuse me, please."

"Get up the stupid rope, your majesty."

Pushing past him, she made her way up the damn rope.

"Kay, I'm up!" she yelled down to Phillip.

"That was fast," he muttered.

"I heard that!"

"Yeah, yeah, what do you see?"

"A mall santa."

"A mall santa?" he asked as he started climbing the rope.

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh, well, you sounded serious."

"Then obviously you don't know sarcasm."

"You got a problem with that?!"

"Just get up the fucking rope!"

Right at the moment, Phillip's head appeared at the top of the rope.



"Where are you!?"

"Right here!"

"Where's that?!"

"...There are markings, on the wall."


"Come on, get off the rope and get your ass up here"

"But I'm not on the rope!

"Then where are you?"

Phillip reached his arms out only to find that he couldn't extend them all the way. In this state, he could reach nothing. He felt like a mime, trapped in the invisible box. His voice cracked as he spoke, "Hol?"

Silence was his only answer.