Chapter 1: In My Minds Eye
It was raining. Rain came down in sheets pounding his body and soaking him to the bone, but he didn't care. He welcomed the rain into his very being to wash him away
"Wash away my love ." He whispered into the howling winds. He hung his head low and pounded into the muddy ground with his fist. The rain continued to fall plastering his hair to his face. He looked to the sky. " Pain is love and love is pain." He began, tears streaming down his cheeks only to be washed away. "The pain that comes before the rain. The rain that comes after the pain." He smiled a sad smile as the rain come down harder. "Of finding that love is not the same, as it is in dreams and picture frames. Although it hurts at least you know….." His voice dropped to a whisper as he forced the last few words from his very soul. " That love is love….. and nothing more.." He bowed his head sadly as he took the dagger from it's sheath. " Another wasted life ends and blows away , for we are all but dust in the wind." With these parting words and a sad smile he plunged the blade into his chest watching as his world faded to black.
Jake gasped and sprung to a sitting position. His eyes darted about wildly and his hands flew to his chest checking for wounds. He sighed in relief as the realization that it was only a dream set in. He remembered that day; the day that the pain had become too much to bare. The day he had decided to take his own life. He'd cursed that couple who had happened upon his prone form ever since that day had passed. Why did they have to save his life? He had wanted the warm embrace of death to consume him. Jake shook his head. At least I got a decent poem out of it, thought Jake. He smiled as he went over the words to the poem in his head.
Death is and adventure to behold
The flicker of life enveloped by pain
The silent torture that drives me insane
As the darkness descends the world grows cold
Thought the pain's not as bad as I've been told
Onlookers try to understand why
I sit still, embrace death, refuse to defy
When I look inside all I see is rain
The falling of raindrops has made me deranged
I'd be a fool if I would be sold
On a warm, false joy to replace the cold
No, I'll sit still, wait and see
How long it takes for death to consume me
Jake's smile widened as he finished the poem. It had been titled 'An Adventure', and had made he a great deal of money. Then again several poems had as well as a few novels. He was, after all, a well renown author. He was known as Josh Stone, since he refused to use his real name, and as Death's Poet, because his works were often times dark. This ruse awarded him a certain amount of anonymity and in turn a normal life. Well as normal as suicidal tendencies allow. He sighed laid on his bed noticing how a sliver of light peaked through his curtains.
"Yet with all the money, women and sex I could ever want I still want to die." He laughed bitterly. He could still remember when he wanted to live…. For her. He would have lived in her heart, died in her lap and been buried in her eyes if given the chance. He smiled at the thought. She loved when he quoted Shakespeare. She loved when any poetry passed through his lips whether it be Shakespeare or some of his own. He used to write such beautiful love poetry…. when he still believed in love.
"So beautiful.." He whispered to himself. Now his view on love had changed. " Love is a fantasy filled with unrealistic expectations. A winding road with twists and turns leading nowhere. A frivolous emotion fraught with flamboyant tales of lust and longing signifying nothing." He smiled a weak smile as he finished the quote. It was a quote of his own making and his philosophy in regards to love. It was a rather cynical view point to have on a subject such as love, but he was, in fact a very cynical person. " Have I always been this way?" He asked the darkness that shrouded his room, but received no reply. What else could he have expected? Surely not an answer.. Was time so lost to him that he couldn't remember.
He was forced to ponder this. "Could this have come as a result of having had love and lost? Does time simply slip away into the void in which this false joy called love had been cast? The nameless shapeless void that claims the broken hearted and misguided in the name of love lost." He smiled. " That would make a rather interesting poem." He always created such beautiful and philosophical works at times such as these.
He looked at the clock and let out a long suffering sigh and wiped his hands over his face. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and he was suppose to meet Ray at 4:00. He had to get ready and do so quickly. He took a quick shower and dug through his closet for something to wear. He smiled as he remembered the first time he had met with Ray. He had dressed in a nice suit and tried to make a hell of an first impression. Jake had been merely a struggling author then and had not wanted to scare Ray off before he could publish his book.
"The Love Hate Tightrope." He said to himself. that was the first novel he had ever written. He could remember writing in his darkest hour. The time he felt the most pain and longing for the grave. " The greatest pain had yielded my greatest work to date. There's a thought to consider. Great pain yields great brilliance."
Jake grabbed an outfit and dressed quickly, it was 3:45. He walked out the door locking it behind him. He then got into his car and drove off. As he pulled into the local coffee shop he noticed the short, plumb black man sitting in the usual spot sipping his usual cup of coffee with a look of distaste. Jake walked into the shop and sat down across from him. Ray looked up and smiled.
"Still drinking that stuff huh? Why don't you drop some cream and sugar in that, it'll make it taste better." Said Jake casually.
Ray simply shook his head. " Then it wouldn't be as strong and I need it to stay awake."
"Well if you did a little less partying and a bit more sleeping you wouldn't be dead on your feet." Jake laughed.
Ray couldn't help, but laugh himself. " Well you know what they say, all work and no play."
"Well if you don't work you can't play. No sleep, no work."
"Hell, I'll sleep when I'm dead. So what you got for me?" Stated Ray , becoming serious.
"Ok, it's called ' A Broken Heart, A Hollow Promise."
"Love the title, what's it about?"
"It's about a wealthy business man who's joyless life and troubled past has left him broken and the girl who tries to pick up the pieces. It's a dark romance, vintage stuff." Jake finished with a smile. "Just what my fans have been waiting to see."
Ray nodded his head in approval. "Sounds good, so does it have a twist?"
"Don't they always?"
Ray laughed. " True enough. Got a final draft for me?"
"Workin' on it."
"Well how about a rough?"
Jake smiled and dropped a bound stack of papers with ' A Broken Heart, A Hollow Promise' , typed across the front page on the table. Ray smiled as he skimmed over a few pages.
"Nice, I'll get it spell checked and printed." Said Ray as he slide from the booth taking the story along with him. " I'll see you later." With that he was gone. Jake simply shook his head. Ray had a tendency to do that.
"Here's your check sir." Said a waitress as she placed the slip of paper on the table.
Jake looked down and laughed, Ray always stuck him with the bill. He glanced to the side and noticed someone watching him. He turned and smiled and she smiled back. "Just another adoring fan." Jake said quietly to himself before he paid the bill and left.