1Beginner's Note : The 'I" in the story is really me, and my Angel is really my Angel. In other words, this has been based on my real life, because I miss her, even though all she does is rip my heart out even further...
I started off a paragraph in the beginning, in bold interface, and then split it into two - one in the beginning, and one in the very end.
Italics, bold, and normal font used to specify thoughts, a separate incident, or an altogether something different from what I had been writing.
Angel
- by Satan'z Myth
I felt the warm tears rolling down my face - I could not believe that my Angel could ever hurt me like this. But, now as I looked around at the blurred colours all around me, I knew that it had happened. She had let me down.
She was like a sister to me from the minute she hugged me the first time - first day of a new school year, April 12th, when either the fact that I was looking "cute" or that she had missed me, had made her fling her arms around me and embrace me. And, as I hugged her back, I had given her the title I shall never take back - "my Angel", even though, honestly speaking, she looked nothing like one -
She wore rimless glasses, was shorter than me by a couple inches even though she has stopped growing and I haven't, had short hair and freckles... and, if you should hear her talking - well, I have always found it charming, but it's intimidating too... but, yet, she's always been an Angel to me -
An Angel and a sister. I loved her from the bottom of my heart, and gave her the highest possible position in my life after my own self - a part of my family, and elder sister. But, yet.. I failed to understand that it would always be that way - one-sided, because I could never be her younger sister, because... just because she could never love me.
And, yet, I had an accidental venture with a pen knife, and she took care of me that day. She held me in her arms in a protective manner, and gave me the strength and courage to look at the wound and not let the tears flood my eyes even when I had to be given an anti-tetanus injection... and, for once, I had felt like she loved me too.
But, then, maybe, she wouldn't have given me up for her badge... because she was elected School Vice President, and all I could do was just - bear her, because I've always been patient... but, I knew that she would be the School President the next year, and two years of pain is not good enough...
And, after the first year, the day she was nominated for the post, I broke down. As I sat in Math class, I could not control my tears anymore, and just let them fall... blurring the ink on the paper laced before me.
"Tell me that you won't become all stupid again once you are elected..." I told her.
She grinned back at me in the way she always smiled, which made my heart melt, and said, "no, I'll always be myself."
And, last year's thoughts came back to me... "you seem to have forgotten me wholly," I had said.
"How can I ever forget you? After all, you are my teddy bear..." She had hugged me.
And, both times, she failed me.
Everyday when the rest of my school mate prays in the Church of our school, I turn my head and look at her... because watching her pray makes me smile. (don't get me wrong - I do have Faith, but I don't believe in organized "faith") And, I mentally long to ask her - "am I not your teddy bear anymore? Have I been tattered and torn into shreds?" And, I silently agree with myself - torn into pieces, every time you look past me as if I weren't there.
I watched juniors, both hers and mine, talking to her, and her smiling at them. I wonder if she thinks that I too was just like that to her - a nobody... because those girls were not like me - they cared for who she was, and not what she was...
And, I could not help but blaming myself for the decreasing number of words said between her and myself... the hugs having lost their warmth... and my smile having been washed off my lips like the genuinity of her
smile...
And, every day, I came back home wondering why I had let her slip, or if it was her who had let go of me... but, no... she can never go wrong, because she is perfect.
She is the one who has taught me to love myself, and beyond my blood relations.
She is like a sister whom I care about with all my heart and soul.
She is, and always will be, my Angel.
But, yet, as I cried, I held onto a photograph that features her and myself... which made me smile even if it was just the corners of my lip bent... a silver lining.
A/N : If you read it, leave a review. Even if it just is your name, or just one word... because it will surely help me heal my broken heart.
-: Satan'z Myth :-