My name's Bob. Bob Khoo See Pak. Okay, fine. My name's not Bob. But it would be cool if I was named Bob. I'm Dyen. And somehow, I'm being sent to camp. Not just any camp; Etiquette camp.

I didn't even know what etiquette was till last week. Just thinking of spending my holidays at a place where they turn my brain into a manners machine is disturbing. Very disturbing. I'd rather be trapped in an iceblock and used to help stop global warming. I'll be a big iceblock. Big and cold.

I'm getting sidetracked here. At least Nazzer's coming with me. Ugh, who am I to kid? We've been arguing since we were learnt how to talk. Well, obviously I learnt first. Anyways, our moms met at this class to learn to take care of babies and somehow, they became really good friends. Then, Nazzer and I were born on the same day. In the same hospital! How cruel is that?!

Ever since then, our moms keep having these play dates and such. I didn't have a problem with Nazzer till the "incident" happened. I was playing with the blue blocks and he was playing with the red. As long as we both had an equal number of blocks, we were satisfied. But No! He just had to go and grab my blocks.

And he has made a powerful enemy. A very powerful enemy.

Apparently, Nazzer and I don't have enough manners. Well, that's what our parents think anyways. I think I have excellent manners. Better than Nazzer, at least.

This camp is the "first of its kind to accept both girls and boys to our wonderful etiquette training." According to the leaflet anyways.

Wonderful? How can learning to eat with our backs straight considered wonderful? Fortunately, Nazzer's having a harder time than me about it. Being a boy, it's apparently sissy to learn etiquette.

He's under the impression that he'll loose his popularity among the girls. I guess the only reason he thought girls actually liked him was partially my fault. One day, my bestest best friend in the whole wide world, Jia, and I, decided to play a prank on him.

We kinda made up random email addresses and sent him loads of love emails. And he is VAIN! I mean, who would reply to, "I think you're hot. Will you go out with me? I'm hot too," with a, "Although I completely agree with you, I'l have to decline. I'm rather busy these days and I can't be bothered to go out with someone not as hot as me."

Who knew he could spell decline? Who knew he knew what that meant?! I bet he used a dictionary. And you know what he's busy doing? Playing Scrabbles… with ME! I love Scrabbles. I make up words that don't exist and he just believes me.

Well, it was 3 years ago and to his credit, he actually doesn't make me feel like clawing my eyes out when I see him anymore. Jia said he has "potential". Seriously, that girl moves through boyfriends like a monkey climbing a tree.

Unfortunately, she won't be coming with me to the camp of doom. So, I'll be suffering… with Nazzer.


This chapter's dedicated to my sister, Rachelle and Tian Min. Please read & review.