Plain is always boring.

There's a reason it's left for the late ones,

Or those who didn't think they were hungry-

Didn't think they were hungry until they saw the jelly dripping down chins, down fingers, into mustaches, or onto business suits.

But it was always plain that was left.

Always the dry, tasteless, pathetically bare ones left.

They're for dunking, I guess.

That's why there's no chocolate, or hidden custard, or powdered sugar.

Those things would just cause a number of problems.

That's why it's safe to choose plain. They're for dunking.

Into mugs of coffee, or cups of tea,

Both equally warm and ready to be soaked up by something perfectly plain and boring.

Something perfectly plain and boring that doesn't cause problems.

But wouldn't it be nice to have one of those problems for once?

It'd feel better.

It wouldn't be so boring.

So dry, tasteless, or pathetically bare.

It might just be exciting.

So as milligram after milligram is counted,

And as the different shapes, colors, and cures get sorted into orange-colored bottles,

How nice it would be to have one of those problems

Instead of this plain, crumbling, safe choice sitting on this napkin as it does everyday.

Maybe custard or jelly filling is a bit much,

But sprinkles would be nice.

Just a few 500 milligram sprinkles.