Secrets hidden in silence

Lilacs

Beau's POV

Something is wrong with Dimitri. I can feel it in my gut and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to shake the feeling. He's acting strange and not reacting to anything I do. I know that Dimitri is not a very affectionate or happy person in general but usually he reacts to the things I do. The look in his eyes shifts, or he scowls and sometimes he even looks confused, surprised and a touch baffled. I love seeing that look on his face. I guess it is why I go out of my way to put it there.

Dimitri has been out of it since his break down in my arms, seeming to be oblivious to me and my efforts to cheer him up. I don't like seeing him like this. It makes me worry about him and I think he is going to do something stupid. I don't want him to go home to that monster he calls a father and do my best to keep him with me. Usually it's so easy. All I need to do is ask, give him my best lost puppy dog look and he crumbles, willingly comes with me and if I do not have the time to do that I simply grab his arm and drag him along. He doesn't even resist. Must be my charming personality, right?

Today is different though, which is why I am convinced that there is something seriously wrong with him. He's not listening to me and the only response I can get out of him is violent withdrawal when I reach out to grab his arm. I know that he is afraid of his father. His eyes mist over and lose focus every time the bastard is mentioned. He says his father will not hurt him, says that bastard has never even raised a hand against him let alone hit him but something is still not right.

It is this nagging feeling that currently plagues me making it rather difficult for me to focus on my homework so I tap my pencil rapidly against the page before me, trying to think and perhaps rid myself of the concern I feel for Dimitri. I should not be feeling like this. I really should not be having these feelings for Dimitri, feelings that go beyond friendship, you know. I have only felt like this once before but that is something I would rather forget… I cannot love a boy. Not after… not after Layla.

I am torn from my thoughts by the scream of sirens. Dread rises up within me and my fear is suddenly given shape and form. Please, please don't tell me that Dimitri has done something stupid. Fear drives me forward and I run as fast as my feet can carry me and arrive next door in record time. My worst fear is confirmed by the ambulance that stands in Dimitri's driveway and my heart makes its way over into my throat. It has come to take Dimitri away from me. He's not mine, he never was but I wish he could be. With all my heart I wish he could be and now, because of my own fear and uncertainty it may be too late.

I watch as Beth emerges from the house. She's incredibly pale and sobbing into her hands and the fear within me grows ever thicker. She is soon followed by paramedics carrying a limp pale form covered in blood. The figure is Dimitri and it does not look like he is breathing. I repeat. It looks like he's not BREATHING! The bastard! I am going to kill him! I am going to murder his father for hurting him, for making him bleed, for kill…

Rage, pure fury runs through my veins and I have to fight to control myself. I'm seeing red. I want to kill him. I want to kill Dimitri's father for hurting him. NO! I REFUSE! I REFUSE to believe that he's dead. Dimitri is NOT dead! HE CAN'T be. My mouth fills with blood and I realise that I have bitten my lip. I am fighting the rage, the grief that courses though me. Blood. There is so much blood upon Dimitri's body that it makes me sick to see it. I'm losing him. I'm losing the one I care about AGAIN! NO! I CAN'T! I can't lose control. Not again!

I fight the rage that suddenly burns within me. I cannot lose control. Not yet, not when I still don't know. He may still be alive. Maybe Dimitri is still alive so I fight the emotion down and watch the paramedics carry Dimitri over to the ambulance. That is when I notice the flash of purple that rests beside him, caught in the folds of his blood stained shirt. It is a flower, a Lilac. Strange, how did that get there?

All flowers have a meaning. My mother drilled that fact into my head from the day I was born and even went so far as to make certain that I know the meaning of every flower. She is a born romantic and believes that sometimes it is best to say something with a flower instead of words. A lilac also has a meaning. The meaning of the purple one beside Dimitri is eerie. It is a question. The flower seems to be asking a question on Dimitri's behalf.

Do you still love me?