53Chapter 10 That Guy in The Duck Costume
"And then they held the gun right to our faces! But we weren't scared! I had to wrestle him to the ground and steal the gun from him! Then they called the cops, but we were too fast!" Chad ranted.
"Did that really happen?" Mikey asked.
"Yes! Didn't it Larry?" Chad said nudging Larry.
"Uh . . . yeah!"
Hmm . . . what's that I smell? Oh, it's bull shit!
"Yeah . . . too bad you didn't want to come, Joey! You missed out!" Chad said, punching my arm for the 50 millionth time.
I just shrugged. There's no way I'd be seen at a party with those losers!
We stopped by our lockers, which were ironically all next to each other . . .
Chad's and Larry's were covered with death threats and other obscenities.
"Uh . . . shouldn't you guys tell the principle or something?" Mikey asked.
"No . . . if it's a war they want . . . it's a war they've got! It's so on!" Chad said, crumpling up the note that was on his locker.
Well I can already tell who's going to win this war . . . and it's not Chad!
"I- I don't know Chad . . . I don't really want to start any more fights with those guys." Larry said.
"Aw don't act all scardy Larry! We can take 'em! After last night we-"
I took this opportunity to get the hell out of there! Not that it really mattered, since they had all my classes. But hey, if there's a chance for me to get away from those weirdos, I'll take it! Seriously, who does Chad think he's kidding?! Well okay, maybe his friends are complete idiots and believe everything he says, but come on! Then again, maybe he does need to get his ass kicked for the umpteenth time to realize he isn't as great as he thinks he is.
Wow, they still didn't realize I was gone!
Just to be safe, I quickened my pace, looking behind my shoulder every few seconds to make sure I wasn't being pursued.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I entered my class, hurrying to my seat in the back of the room. I was glad all the other spots were taken, now they couldn't sit anywhere near me! Thank you God! My lord and savior!
Just as I looked up, Chad and everyone walked into the room. He looked at me and frowned. Was that supposed to make me feel guilty? Because it's not working, bitch! He just shrugged and took a seat in the front.
I day dreamed half of the period.
Well, it seemed like half the period when really it was only 20 minutes into it. I mentally groaned and imagined what bashing my face against the desk would feel like. Chances are, probably better than this useless information I was being fed, and would most likely never use . . . ever in my life.
As I was debating whether or not to gouge my eyes out with my pencil, the door opens and the principle walks in and talks quietly to the teacher. Then he turns and motions for whoever was lingering in the door way to come in the room.
And oh my holy hell! That kid is the definition of EMO! I felt like I turned emo just for looking at him! He wore more eyeliner than all the girls in the class put together. His pants were so tight, it hurt places I don't feel like mentioning. He was dressed all in black and he was paler than my grandpa's legs . . . and that's WHITE!
"Class . . . this is Maurice Devereux. He is a French exchange student, so let's all make him feel welcome!" the teacher said.
Chad raised his hand and waved it wildly.
Oh no . . .
"We can show him around!" he shouted.
The teacher smiled. "Well okay then! Maurice, have a seat next to Chad."
Great, so now I'm not only stuck with a bunch of geeks . . . I'm stuck with a bunch of geeks and an emo French boy. Not that there's anything wrong with the French . . . I happen to think they are pretty cool. Really, anyone with a foreign accent is cool in my book. Just not when they are emo. And overly emo at that!
I wonder what Chad is saying to that poor kid. What ever it is, it doesn't look like he's too happy to be there. But who can blame him?! I'm sure anyone would rather rip out their brain and play tennis with it than have to sit there and listen to that loser talk out of his ass.
Hey! Maybe they won't bother me now that they have a new and foreign friend to harass!
"Holy shnikies! We have the same classes together!" Chad screamed.
I already know what that kid is thinking! I bet he's wishing he can go back to France. Hell, I'd go back with him! But knowing my luck, Chad would mysteriously show up there and find me. He has this strange ability to find out things I never even told him . . . I should probably be worried.
Sometimes I wonder if he carries around binoculars or something . . . I shudder at that thought.
"And see that angry looking guy right there? Yeah, that's my other best friend forever, Joey! He doesn't talk much, but he's pretty cool!" Chad said, pointing back at me.
The French kid just looked back blankly for a few seconds, then turned back to the front as Chad's mouth continued to flap rapidly.
Finally this hellish torture was over and I practically ran to the cafeteria. I don't even know why I bother . . . they'll just find me.
Then in a matter of seconds my table was invaded!
"Why did you sit all the way in the back?!" Larry asked, nudging my rip cage.
I glared at him.
"Uh oh, you better quit it Larry! That's his go-burn-in-hell look!" Chad yelled.
Larry shook his head. "No, no! That was his I'm-going-to-kill-you-and-feed-your-body-to-the-birds look!"
"I think it was a mix of his why-don't-you-go-kill-yourself-and-get-the-hell-away-from-me look and his I-wish-death-upon-you look." Louie added.
I rolled my eyes as they argued over my . . . looks. I didn't know they payed that much attention to me. Suddenly I felt very creeped out.
"Oh guess what you guys! I got my driver's license!" said Chad.
Huh? How can he already have his driver's license?
"Wow, that's great Chad! You'll have to give us rides from now on!" Larry said.
"Not until I've been driving for six months" Chad added, sadly.
The rest of the dorks looked disappointed. I couldn't even imagine Chad behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.
"Oh screw the rules! Let's go for a drive right now!" Chad shouted, overly cheerful.
They all cheered, drawing unwanted attention our way.
"But . . . that would be . . . skipping! I've never skipped school in my life! My mom would kick my ass to Mexico if she found out!" Larry said, uneasily.
Chad shrugged. "She'll never know . . . it'll be our dirty little secret!" he said, drapping an arm around Larry. That made me feel slighly uncomfortable.
Larry giggled, "Okay, okay! Let's go!"
I sat there as they, including the emo French boy, began walking off. Chad turned around.
"Hey, come on Joey!" he called.
I just sat there and glared at him. There's no way I'd set foot in his creepy ass car! Who knows what he'll do?!
"Don't make me come over there, Joseph!" he yelled as people walked by.
I twitched as he used my full name. Eww it sounded disgusting when he said it!
"Well, you can either stay here and go to gym class, or you can come with me in my kick ass new sports car!" Chad yelled.
I debated with myself for a minute. I highly doubted it was a sports car, but then going with them would be better than going to gym class. I hated gym class with a passion. But then again, what don't I hate?
I sighed and stood, walking over to them and they all cheered, once again drawing unwanted attention to us.
"We are going to have so much fun!" Chad shrieked.
I didn't bother to shrug his arm off me.
I knew it wasn't a sports car . . .
We all stared at the piece of shit VW Transporter van. It was a sickengly dull orangie color and the seats had furry looking whitish stuff on them.
"Isn't it amazing!" Chad squealed as he hugged his shit box.
"Uh, HELL YEAH it's amazing!" Larry chimed in.
Me and the emo French boy were the only ones who didn't say anything about it. There really was nothing to say anyways, not that I would. But they'd have to be crazy to think this thing is amazing!
"Everyone hop on in!" Chad said as he got into the driver's seat.
"Shot gun!" Larry screamed hopping into the passenger's seat.
I just shrugged and climbed into the back. It smelled like old people in this thing . . .
The emo French boy joined me in the very back, and the twins just sat in front of us.
"Prepare to have the best ride of your life!" Chad yelled.
I twitched at how wrong that sounded.
Suddenly, one of the administrators came outside. "Hey! Where do you all think you're going?!" He yelled, running toward the car.
"Oh shit! Step on it, Chad!" Larry yelled.
"Oh my hell!" Chad yelled, turning on the ignition. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and the car shot backwards.
"You kids get to class now!" the man shouted.
"Put it in drive damn it!" Mikey snapped.
"That's what I'm doing, bitch!" Chad shrieked as he pulled the lever to D.
The car screeched out of the parking lot, scraping agains Mr. Dirkson's baby blue Volkswagon Beattle.
They all cheered in delight as we raced down the road, away from the school.
"That was awesome! I've never felt such a rush!" Chad said, energetically.
"I know! I feel so . . . bad!" Larry said.
I almost choked on my laughter. Anyone could have done what we just did, only never attracting the attention of the administrators in the first place.
"This calls for some awesome music!" Chad said, turning the stereo on. It looked like the only new thing in this entire car, so it looked kind of strange.
My eyes widened as they all began to sing, horribly off-key.
" TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME MORE! SLEEPLESS LONG NIGHTS, THAT IS WHAT MY YOUTH WAS FOR!"
I really wanted to bash my face against the window, and I could tell the emo French boy wanted to do the same.
"OH, TEENAGE HOPES ARRIVE AT YOUR DOOR, LEFT YOU WITH NOTHING, BUT THEY WANT SOME MORE!"
I noticed the emo French boy get up and pull a CD out of his pocket. How he could walk while Chad was driving is beyond me . . .
"Hey! What are you doing, Maurice?!" Chad asked as, Maurice, took the CD out of the stereo and threw it like a frisbee out the window. He put his CD in and went back to his spot, smiling.
Suddenly some screamo song erupted loudly out of the speakers. I guess it was better than the first song . . .
"HEY! That CD was a gift from my grand mama!" Chad shrieked.
"That was totally rude!" Larry yelled.
Chad slammed on the breaks and did a U-turn right in the middle of the road. "I'm going back for my grand mama's CD!" he screamed.
Cars blared their horns at us and gave us the finger, but Chad obviously didn't care. I wonder how he even passed his driving test . . .
"But, it could be anywhere! We didn't see where he threw it!" Mikey yelled.
"Shut up Mikey, I can't think with you running your yap!"
Mikey looked down, sadly.
"Shut up Chad! You can't talk to my brother like that!" Louie yelled.
"Oh go kiss an ass, Louie!"
Louie looked down, sadly.
Okay seriously, why were they still friends with Chad? He's such a fucking prick . . . so then why did I bother coming? Gaah!
"Hey! I think that's it!" Chad yelled, turning the wheel a little too hard. Suddenly we lost control and ended up speeding down some dirt path surrounded by millions of trees.
"Oh my God! We're all gonna die!" Larry shrieked grabbing on to Chad for support.
I sat there, wide eyed and seeing everything pass by in a blur. I'm going to admit . . . I was fucking scared and about to piss myself.
The car stopped abruptly and we all looked around.
"I guess . . . we'll be okay after all!" Larry said, releasing his death grip on Chad.
They slowly opened their doors, and we all climbed out.
"Where the hell are we?" Mikey asked.
"Well, obviously in some kind of ravine! Durr!" Chad said, obnoxiously.
"Well how the hell are we going to get out of here now?" Louie asked.
Now my life seriously couldn't get any worse. I was stuck . . . with them . . . in a ravine with no hope of getting out anytime soon. Will someone just kill me?!
Suddenly there was a sound coming from the bushes near by.
"Did you hear that?!" Larry shrieked.
"Calm down, Larry, it's probably some animal."
Something told me, it wasn't just an animal . . .
"1, 2 buckle my shoe!" yelled a very creepy voice.
We all looked around. "Who the hell said that?!" Chad demanded.
"Maybe they can help us . . ." Mikey suggested.
"3, 4 I want some more!"
"Do you seriously want help from someone reciting a nursery rhyme?! And someone who changes the lyrics at that?!" Louie asked, quietly.
"5, 6 look at my dicks!"
We all stared at each other in horror. I don't know who this guy is . . . but I want to get far away, and fast! Though there was no where to go . . .
"7, 8 masturbate!"
Chad stomped his foot. "Okay, you've had your fun! Show yourself damn it!"
"9, 10 I love men!"
Larry looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "This is seriously freaking me out! Maybe we should go back in the car and lock the doors!"
Chad groaned. "Larry, you're such a scardy bitch! It's just some weirdo messing with us."
I was all up for Larry's idea.
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Give em' a twist, a flick of the wrist, that's what the good man said!" the strange voice sang.
"Okay, come out now and I won't kick your bitch ass!" Chad shouted, attempting to sound threatening.
"Get out of our house!" the voice hissed.
We all looked at each other.
Suddenly someone started playing the flute, very badly.
"You have treaded on sacred land! You must pay!"
A man in a duck costume hopped out of the bushes and yelled like a savage. Okay, now I wasn't too scared, just greatly annoyed. Who the hell was this dumb ass?
Larry cowered behind Chad . . . maybe he was a scardy bitch.
"Back! Stay back!" The duck man yelled, splashing water on us all.
The duck man let out a shrill cry of jibberish and some dudes in a gorilla, bunny, and cat costume emerged from the trees. Then they all danced in a circle around us, chanting nonsense.
"What . . . the . . . hell . . ." Chad said. My thoughts exactly!
They all stopped abruptly.
"You all have stepped on our sacred land! The spirits are not happy!" the duck man said.
The others made a hissing noise.
"Now you shall sacrafice yourselves to the spirit!" the duck man said.
"Aah! What the hell?! Get away!" Chad shrieked as they all moved in.
They all wrapped us up in some kind of yarn and chained our ankles together with hand made handcuffs . . .
"The Great Spirit awaits . . ." the duck man said, solemnly.
We were led through the forest into a clearing where a small house stood. This was very ridiculous, how can you take guys in costumes seriously?
"Oh Great Spirit!" the duck man said, raising his arms in the air. "We have brought you . . . the sacrifices!" He turned the chair around revealing a stuffed bear.
They all threw themselves before the stuffed animal and bowed.
We all glanced at each other, then back at the idiots.
"Oh Great Spirit . . . what shall we do with the sacrifices?!" the duck man's voice was muffled, since he was still bowing.
Slowly I slid my ankle out of the chains and easily broke the yarn, then I made a dash for the door.
"Hey, wait!" Chad hissed as he got free too.
He and the rest of them scrambled after me.
"You will all paaaaaaay!" the duck man yelled in the distance.
We all got back to Chad's car and locked the doors. "Wow . . . that was weird . . . I'll just call my cousin and he'll help us out of this ravine." Chad said, grabbing his cell phone.
We all glared daggers at him.
"You had a cell phone, and you didn't tell us?!" Larry shrieked.
Chad shrugged, "I forgot, sheesh!"
I would have strangled him right then, but I was just happy to be away from those other freaks that I didn't want to as much as I usually would have.
A/N: Sorry for the ridiculously long wait . . . I had a lot of writer's block for this chapter, but then it all randomly popped into my head today. And I've actually got a lot of questions about Chad's sexuality . . . hehehee, I know I make him seem really gay, but he actually isn't xD He's straight! So anyway, please R&R!