Bad Habits

I wonder if you knew how badly I wanted to kiss you

Your face was so close to mine

And I can smell you

And I can hear you breathe

I keep smiling but my heart is breaking

I keep laughing but my soul is aching

I can't stop pretending

I'm alone and I can feel you near me

Everything reminds me of that night

We were so close and you felt so warm

Safety never felt so good before

I thought I wouldn't have to pretend anymore

Maybe if I never say goodbye it won't mean anything

Maybe I can make the world go away

Sitting in your car with the rain on the windows

Play with my hair and wake up together in a field of wild flowers

And your name written on my heart with an ink pen

But then I wake up and I go on pretending my day away

I can smell September all year round

When it's still kinda humid and hot outside

And the wind at night is cold and sweet

I can hear the wind rushing over your car

And blowing my hair in my face

But I have to turn on the fan in my room

So I can pretend once again

If I close my eyes and hold my pillow as close as I possibly can

I can lie to myself and hear your heart beating

I'll just make believe until I fall asleep

I'll just fake it until you can really be here

I need a book called Reality For Dummies

Because I feel so foolish dreaming of you

One day I won't have to play pretend