"Friends, boyfriends, they come and go,
But family stays."
This was advice, listened to, but not heard,
Until almost too late.
Please, don't say it's too late.
With age comes wisdom
Wisdom which springs from tears,
And scars, and memories better forgotten
Still, they're there. Persistent.
Annoying. Saying truths that, sophomorically,
I wasn't ready to know.
I can see now how much knowledge
Lies behind my mother and father's words.
I'm lucky; they're not going anywhere.
Even if I push, they push back in,
With strength surpassing mine,
Even with my youth.
My tears seem to flow so often,
I'm sure you think in a panic.
But it's from love.
Only those I care for can truly hurt me;
So the tears you view are of frustration.
Frustration at my race to make you proud
A race with a finish line that allows seems to elude me.
I want to make you as proud as you can ever be.
As anyone could be.
I know my mistakes.
They lie like fallen soldiers
Along a path I can only take once.
Forget them, is what I ask.
I pay for my sins;
Karma, the Almighty, fate; have all tested me
Beyond comprehension of some.
It's only made me stronger; wiser.
I don't keep things secret out of spite,
But out of kindness.
Why should two minds suffer when one could?
But you'll just have to trust that it's in kindness.
Trust with trust which I do not deserve; I'm aware.
Nobody is worth hurting my family,
And I kick myself for not realizing that sooner.
But I realize it now, more than ever.
And I pray that my enlightenment is worth something.
Ask any friend, and they'll know and relay
Exactly how much I care for my family.
How much I respect each individual, admire them,
And how often regret weighs down my mind.
I don't deserve this, says my mind.
That's just me; how I am.
But I'm trying my best-I can't give more than that.
So, I thank you. Words, though, can't express
How grateful I am to turn out as I have.
Mistakes, tears, bruises and all.
I owe me, really, to my family, and my past,
The one constant; a constant I've finally grasped.