A/N: So we are in our final week of filming, and it's been a journey to say the least. Rumor has it we may even be in talks to be on TV, and I am beside myself. Thanks to everyone who supports Jonnie, and follow the Facebook and Instagram for all the behind the scenes pics and vids.
You are awesome and thanks for making Jonnie possible.
Without further ado, more Jonnie:
Chapter 19: The Worst Day Ever
Another week fell off the calendar. That morning was the worst one in the dorm house yet. Trent walked in on my shower again, only this time he wasn't going in to simply brush his teeth. Then I went to do laundry, and saw it was filled with Sean's underwear, dirty socks and pajamas. I mean, how many pairs of pajamas does a guy need to have? I went into the fridge to get something to eat on the go before I was late for school, but all I could find was sour milk, condiments, moldy fruit and frozen quiche. Those boys and their quiche!
Then as I was pulling out of the parking lot, I accidentally hit Danny's Jetta. Not hard, but enough to make a small dent in his fender. I made a note to mention it to him later. Not to mention my mother, surprisingly, hadn't called. I didn't dare call her until I found another place to live. It was best she never knew about me and the boys. The very day I began to worry about her, was when she called me. I was just getting out of class where I got chewed out for not doing my homework right, and was in a horrible mood. It was cold, it was raining… I was miserable.
When she called, I was ready to pull my hair out at the roots and walk around bald. I managed to hold my anger away from my voice, as I clenched my hand around my phone and brought it to my ear.
"Hi, mom," I said through my teeth, trying my best to sound happy she called. "Hi, honey," she said. "I just got some very interesting news."
When mothers say some piece of news is 'interesting', you'd best brace yourself. I prepared for a big one.
"I just got off the phone with Holly…"
She needn't say any more. Holly was Felicia's mom. No doubt a particular piece of news had been finally delivered to my mom.
"She said that Felicia and you weren't getting along."
"Well, you know," I said, trying to figure out how I could avoid the truth so I could deal with it at a later time than when I was already ticked off. "Yeah, Felicia and I don't see each other much anymore, so… Hey listen, can I call you back later?"
"Sure thing, honey."
I sighed in relief as I hung up the phone, glad I didn't have to add any more drama to my rainy day. My phone started buzzing again, and I growled loudly in frustration, figuring it was my mom again. I opened up my phone and instead was surprised to see a text.
Sent: 10:07 AM From: Ryder
Can i help brighten your gray day?
I smiled. How did he know? Did he have ESP or something? I texted him back, telling him that would be great, and to meet me at the Starbucks across the street. He quickly replied that he was already there.
It was then official. He was telepathic.
We got our drinks: a hot mug of coffee for him, and iced tea lemonade for me, and sat down to chat. I was really enjoying the fact that I didn't have to watch my back around him anymore. Everyone knew we were dating, and were cool with it. We had nothing more to hide. It was wonderful.
Until my day went from bad to worse. I got to thinking of why everyone thought so badly of Ryder. Then I realized that I had never really tested his waters of where his moral limitations fell. So I came out with a question for him.
"Ryder, you said we'd be honest with each other," I stated.
"Always," he agreed.
"Can I ask you something personal?"
"Whatever you want."
"How many girls have you… you know… spent the night with?"
"You mean how many chicks have I nailed?"
I blushed. Ryder had a way of making me do that with his blunt way with words.
"Yeah, that," I said.
"Do you really have to know?"
I bit my lip, now fearing the answer. But I wouldn't have asked if I didn't really want to know, so I said:
"How many do you think?" he asked as if it was amusing to him. Or maybe he was just stalling. "Guess."
"Um…" I could imagine it was more than once. Maybe even more than three, by the way he was acting. "Five?" I guessed.
He burst out laughing and shook his head. My heart fell. What a bad sign.
He jabbed his thumb upward to signal me to go up.
"Higher?" I spat out. My disappointment was only growing.
Again with the thumb giving me the up signal. I almost choked.
"No way! Fifteen."
Another signal. Now I was ready to choke him.
"Twenty?" I breathed.
"Okay, we'll say about that," he admitted. I hit his arm playfully.
He laughed at this. I was a little upset, but tried hard to keep smiling.
"I like sex- what guy doesn't?" he shrugged. "Back in the day, I was pretty bad. I was drunk and high for a lot of my life, and the girls threw themselves at me. It's no excuse, and I feel bad about it, but hey. It's in the past. I woke up and figured out sex was something to be valued, and that was that."
He seemed actually ashamed about it. His ears were a little pink. It made me feel a little better.
"Sooo- how many guys have you slept with?" he asked, probably hoping to take some of the heat off him and put it on me.
"I have to be honest with you," I said boldly. "Absolutely none."
"Ah," Ryder seemed disappointed that his escape plan backfired. "You're in the 'V' club with Sean… Maybe Jonah too, I don't know. He doesn't talk about that kind of stuff with us."
No need to ask about Trent. Asking if Trent slept with women was like asking how often the moon was up in the sky, to which you would answer: almost every night, hon, almost every night.
"What about Danny?" I asked curiously.
"Ah, Danny, funny story: Woke up with a hangover and a naked girl next to him and not knowing how the hell it happened. Someone had spiked his drink—oh, he was so freaked out, he ran off in only his boxers. We still give him a hard time about it, and to this day, Danny won't drink a drop."
I laughed, imagining poor Danny sprinting down a morning street in his favorite blue plaid boxer shorts. But I was still stuck on my distress for Ryder treating sex so carelessly. Sure, people did that in this day and age, but I never thought I'd date someone like that. It also raised questions about what he expected of me. Did he figure we'd sleep together soon? Next month, next week? Tomorrow? Ee-gads… tonight?
"You're upset," Ryder decided. "What are you thinking?"
"Yeah, I suppose."
"I was just being honest."
"That was a long time ago, Jons. I don't want you thinking I'm still that person." I softened at the fact that he felt genuinely guilty and was trying hard to remedy the situation. I was the one who had asked him in the first place, after all.
"How long ago was it that you stopped being 'that person'?" I asked.
He snickered. More embarrassment.
"Well, when I met you, I guess."
I pulled back in surprise. Long time ago, my foot. Try last week.
"Are we still cool?" he asked worriedly. I knew I was scaring him, so I did my best to perk up.
"Yeah, we cool," I replied.
Oh, but my bad day didn't end there. Ryder had more to say later on that long coffee shop conversation. He took up my hand and smiled warmly like he always did, then stated very simply:
"Jons, you know I still have to go out with Monika, right?"
I immediately dropped his hand. How dare he even mention that wretched name in my presence, much less in that context.
Ryder seemed surprised at my reaction, like he had only been stating common knowledge that turned out to be not-so-common.
"Jons…" he coaxed at my ignorance. "I made a deal. I have to keep with it, or those guys will be back."
He took up my hand again.
"And they know I care about you. You'd be the first person they'd go after."
"So you're going to be kissing on Monika to keep me safe… Gee, how could I miss that…?"
"Well, yeah. I thought you were cool with this."
"Why would I be cool with this?" I said in disbelief, pulling my hand away again. Was he really so daft?
"You know I like you better, Jons. You have nothing to be jealous about." "Even still, Ryder—you're going to kiss another woman, and who knows what else to keep her happy…! We LIVE together, Ryder! Am I supposed to sit around and watch?"
"I wasn't jealous when you were getting over Jonah. I didn't say a word. Now you're pulling this with a girl you know I don't even like that way?"
"I think I have every right to be jealous, Ryder! Jonah and I never even went out."
"Not by any hold-up from you. You would've gone with him in a heartbeat if he asked. You think he's better than me, that's why."
I felt my heart bending, ready to snap in half at any moment. Was that really how Ryder thought?
"Com'on, Ryder, you know I don't."
"Look, I have to do this whether you're cool with it or not. Did you hear the part about keeping you safe?"
"Oh yeah, whatever let's you sleep at night. I'm sure you having sex with Monika will be a real hard thing to handle—for YOU."
"What makes you think I'm going to sleep with her?"
"Well, after the conversation we just had, it makes me wonder if you would stop with Monika at just kissing…"
I knew I had gone too far, but at least I had made my point. It was a good, sharp point too. I knew I wasn't about being giving Ryder any action, so where would he go? With Monika throwing herself at him… He already admitted he loved sex and a loose guy like him could only hold out for so long.
Ryder shook his head like he couldn't believe it.
"Look, if you can't handle this… then maybe we aren't ready for this… us… right now."
And there it was. So quickly, I was losing him. Suddenly, a matter like Monika seemed trivial if it meant losing Ryder.
Then again, it didn't.
If he insisted on fooling around with a woman he didn't even like, well, I didn't have to stand for it. I had more respect for myself than that. I felt I deserved better.
"Maybe… maybe that's best," I stammered, grabbing my purse and getting up to go.
As much as it pained me, I made myself keep walking, and forced my head with all the willpower in me to not look back.
It didn't work. I looked back. Ryder was still watching me go.
Such a sadness in his eyes…
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