4Remember
It was a beautiful summer night as she slowly moved back and forth on her swing. She had been waiting for an hour now, and if she had to, she'd wait until morning. But she didn't have to. She knew she wouldn't. He had never let her down before, and tonight was no different.
From a distance, he looked troubled, and she was sure he was. Once he saw her watching him, however, he sent her one of his signature half smiles. Sighing with relief, she managed to smile back in return.
"So, what's going on? Why'd you tell me to meet you here?" he asked, stretching languidly before jumping into the empty swing beside her, "I thought you'd need beauty sleep before your big day tomorrow."
Rolling her eyes, she kicked off to swing a little higher, "You know me better than anyone else in the whole wide world. Do you really think I'd rather be anywhere else?"
"Right," he chuckled, sounding slightly awkward, as he slowly began to swing alongside her, "Stupid me."
And just like that, they swung in silence. There couldn't possibly be two other people who were so in sync with one another. That's how they've always been, ever since the first day of high school.
They were always the inseparable pair who could finish each others sentences and practically read each others' minds, despite their many differences. She had always been dainty, graceful, and elegant to his goofy, swift, and clumsy. He had always been spontaneous, outspoken, and carefree to her reserved, sensitive, and cautious.
Even in appearance they were complete opposites. She had the fairest skin and the lightest shade of blue eyes. He had the darkest of tans and eyes so brown they looked black. She was slim, slender, and on the shorter side of average. He was broad, muscular, and much taller than was average.
But they complimented each other. That's what they and everyone else who had known them had always said. She was the jelly to his peanut butter, the yin to his yang. Together, they just made sense.
"Do you remember the day we met?" she suddenly asked, gradually slowing down until she was almost still.
Grinning, he dug his feet into the grass and reached over to pull on her long blonde hair, "Of course I do. I saved your life."
"Hardly," she snorted, pulling her hair out of his reach, "You almost killed me that day. Or did you forget about that little detail?"
"How many times have we been through this?" he asked with an exasperated sigh, "I didn't trip you intentionally! And I did grab you in time to stop you from falling down the stairs, so there!"
"I'm glad you remembered" she replied, stifling a small giggle.
"Well, it was a very long time ago," he mused, kicking the grass solemnly, "But it was a life changing day for me. It was the day I met you."
His answer made her heart jump in her chest. He always did have a knack for doing that.
"That's why I remember it too," she whispered softly, hoping to catch his gaze. She always loved staring into his eyes. It was like staring at the dark night sky, and sometimes, she could even see a sparkling star in them.
It felt like ages since they had been at this park, talking and swinging like they had when they were teenagers. Those had been the best times of their lives.
"Rebecca," he murmured softly, sounding almost pained.
Looking as though he had hit her, she jumped off the swing and turned to look him directly in the eye, "Never call me that. You're not allowed."
Very startled and surprised by her sudden anger, he frowned, "Why not? It's what everyone else calls you."
"I know," she replied with sudden tears in her eyes, "And that's who I'll always be to everyone else. But not to you; to you, I'll always be Becky, your Becky. Don't ever call me Rebecca."
Sighing, he dropped his gaze to the floor, "But that's a lie, isn't it, Rebecca? You won't always be my Becky. After tomorrow, you can only ever be Rebecca, and never again mine."
"No, that's not true," she cried, shaking her head, "Don't say it like that. I'll always be your best friend."
He never was able to bear her tears. They looked unnatural streaming down her pale white face. The sight almost always broke his heart, and he knew his poor heart couldn't handle any more breaking.
"Why did you call me here, Becky?" he asked softly.
"Because you're my best friend, that's why," she sighed, wiping away her tears, "Isn't that reason enough?"
He didn't say anything. He didn't know how to answer. Was it reason enough? Was it worth everything he was feeling right now? He wasn't sure if either of them wanted to know the answer to that.
"Remember the first time we came here? We barely knew each other but once we found out how much we both loved swings, we ran all the way here and stayed for hours."
"You don't have to tell me," he sighed, "I remember it clearly. Please, no more reminiscing."
"What about our first real fight, do you remember that?" she asked, sounding desperate now.
"How could I forget?" he replied with another sigh, praying for the strength to get through this excruciating game she was playing, "You wouldn't talk to me for an entire week. I thought you would never forgive me."
"I probably wouldn't have if you had gotten into that car," she told him honestly.
The image of a drunken, younger version of him flashed in both their eyes. The anger he had seen in her eyes before she turned her back on him had quickly sobered him up and ever since then, he hadn't even dared to try to drink under the influence.
He wasn't sure what he could say. A part of him was glad that he hadn't gotten into that car. And yet, there was a small part of him that wished he had, because if she refused to forgive him, then maybe life would've been easier these past few years.
"Stop it, Rebecca," he ordered, shutting his eyes so he wouldn't have to see her hurt expression.
"Don't call me that!" she cried, her voice unnaturally high, "How about graduation? Do you remember that day? Remember how mad our teachers got because we messed up the alphabetical order so we could sit next to each other?"
"I remember," he replied, his voice so soft that she could barely hear him.
"And prom! We agreed to go as each others' dates and had the best time of our lives! Remember that?"
"Yes," he sighed sadly, feeling the urge to cry or to scream or maybe even both, "You were breathtaking that night. I think that's when I realized I was in love with you."
She made a strange noise that sounded almost like a whimper.
"Do you remember our first date?" she asked, sobbing softly as she reached for his hands.
Memories of them together in this very park played in his head. He had had an elaborate picnic planned out with flowers and homemade food. They had sat around for nearly two hours, eating or swinging or just talking.
And then they got caught in the storm. It had been an awful storm and she shivered so violently. He wrapped his arms around her as they stood under the gazebo in an attempt to stay warm and dry, and it was then that they shared their first kiss. After an hour or so, they ran home, soaked but flustered, and the next day, they were both sick with colds.
Even from here, he could see that gazebo where they eventually spent that evening and many more hours of their lives kissing happily.
"Why are you doing this to me, Becky?" he replied, finally looking at her through bright eyes, "Just tell me why?"
"Do you remember?" she pressed, ignoring his heartbroken words, "Tell me!"
The look on his face became one of concern as he stared at her, "I couldn't forget it if I tried. I didn't think there was anything that could possibly be wrong with the world if I could just stay with you like that forever."
"Good," she whispered through her tears, "Never forget those moments, ok? Never forget that I was yours first, and I will always be yours."
"But you won't," he replied thickly.
Her eyes burned with determination as she grabbed his hand. "This," she said, placing his hand over her heart, "Will always be yours. It's always been yours and only yours."
"Becky," he murmured, taking her sobbing form into his arms and holding her tightly, "What's going on?"
"I would've chosen you. I wanted to," she replied softly, inhaling the scent of him as much as she could. If only she could stay like this until the end of the world, she would die happily.
"Then why can't you? Why didn't you?" he asked, "I love you, Becky! Come with me tonight! We can leave and never look back! Tomorrow never has to come!"
She could hear the silent pleading in his voice and it broke her heart into smaller pieces. If only she had known that he still loved her that way. If only he had told her a month or two earlier. If only she hadn't left him in the first place. And now, she was paying the price for it. Once upon a time, she refused to sacrifice her dreams for him. Now, she was forced to sacrifice him, her heart and dreams, for the sake of someone else.
Unable to help herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. He still tasted the same and felt the same. He was still absolutely perfect.
"You wouldn't understand, but life got in the way," she whispered tearfully, using all her willpower to push away from him, "I can't run away with you. I just had to say goodbye, but please, don't ever forget, I love you."
With that, she ran.
The happiest day of her life; what a lie that was. Almost everything was exactly as she had envisioned it, exactly what she had dreamed of since she was a girl. Almost everything…
"I do," she whispered, crying tears of sorrow, which her guests, with the exception of one, mistook for tears of joy. Unconsciously, she placed a hand over her small belly.
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife," the nameless minister announced, with more enthusiasm than she'd ever be able to muster.
Loud applause erupted from all around her as the man before her took her hands and smiled so lovingly that she felt her heart wrench. He was a good man and he deserved much better than her and her fragmented heart. He deserved someone who loved him and only him, because as much as she loved him, he would always be second in her heart.
"I love you, Rebecca," he whispered, adding salt to the wounds she felt inside.
She only managed to smile in reply. She had to stay strong. She was determined to get through it all.
Together, the newlyweds turned to face the crowd. There was more applause as the groom smiled and placed a tender kiss on his beautiful bride. Managing a strained smile, she looked out in the crowd of family and friends.
Her eyes automatically found the dark ones she loved so much, the ones that held as much pain and sorrow as her own. When they were younger, he would always be able to guess what she was thinking. Perhaps now, he would understand that she was silently begging for understanding, begging for forgiveness.
One day, she knew, he would understand. One day, he would forgive her.
Until then, she would have to live to remember…
Author's Note: Ok, another one-shot with a sad ending... I don't know why it works out that way for me... Anyways, this just popped into my head earlier and plagued me until I wrote it down. And now, I'm sharing it with you. Some might love Rebecca, some might hate her, and I'm sure most of you disagree with her decision, but that's the way it goes.
This is a one-shot, so you can imagine whatever you'd like for her future. I kept things very vague, and I'm sorry if that drove you nuts. But I thought I gave sufficient hints for her reasoning at the end. I didn't even give my male characters names. I'm not sure why I did that, but you can feel free to name them whatever you'd like.
Thanks for reading and I hope you review!