4A/N: Might be cliche to some, and might not to others... but i don't care... this is meant for someone who's most probably not going to read it anyway. i know this story sucks... so don't bother flaming me for it...
(NOTE: edited it a little... not obvious)
A 'one-sided' love story. An 'unrequited love'. It's so common nowadays that it has become such an incredibly cliché matter to us all. The stories always starts off as girl meets boy -or vice versa -, girl likes boy from afar, boy doesn't realize anything about it. Then something happens, and the boy found out and falls in love with girl. In the end, it's happily ever after.
But is it really simple such as that? When things are made clear, it's happy ever after? I once thought that it was, but now I know how naïve I had been. Everything doesn't just end there, and you've thought me so - that a happy ever after was not meant to be in reality.
I've told you my feelings and you've told me mine. I'm sincere but did you truly mean what you have said?
I've given you my all; I've given you my heart. You took it generously but gave nothing back. I waited and waited to see my love returned but each time when some hope sparks in me, it soon dies off the moment you just turned away again.
Always, I've asked myself, "Why you? Of all the fishes out in the sea, why has it got to be you?"
I know an adult would just wave everything away and say, "It's just puppy love, and you'll get over it soon. It's just teen angst."
Friends, however, would say, "You've brought this onto yourself. You continue to give knowing that nothing would be returned."
I do not disregard what these people in my life have said, but to hear these words right smack into my face hurts so much that everything is never clear and always in the shades of gray.
When I care with all my heart, you throw it away dismissively saying so coldly with a hard look in your eyes, "It's none of your business. You need not know what's happening." you might as well say, "Shoo, you pest!" instead. When I've given you something that I've thrown my whole attention, mind and time into, you raised a bored eyebrow and ask, "You do know that this is such a waste of time, don't you?"
You say you harbor the same feelings for me as I do for you, yet this is the treatment that I continue to receive silently, uncomplaining.
You never said you wanted a relationship, you never said that you never wanted one. Sometimes you act as if we're together, admitting to remarks by others about we being together. Then there are also times where you push me aside without considering my feelings.
Is this a game of charade we're playing? Am I supposed to guess what you have up in that twisted mind of yours for me? For us?
You don't give a damn about me. You play with my feelings, and my emotions are your puppet with strings attached to them. For a moment, you show that you care, and when I'm assured that all is well, you push me aside and build that all too familiar wall around you once more. I couldn't get close to you no matter how I try. You distance yourself away from me as I continued and try to run to you.
I hear whispers behind my back on how pitiful I am. Whispers about me playing the role of the guy, and you the girl. Of me being the pursuer and you being the pursued. I am human, and I have my pride. But you, it's because of you, my pride was shaken.
I've had enough. Enough of everything. I'm tired and I am drained. All that I can give you, I have given. There's nothing left for me to give. But truly, tell me my beloved Hosea, even if I can continue on with this little game of yours, what's the point of giving when you either just receive it or disregard it without even a single thought?
Tell me, tell me my beloved Hosea, you said that you like me more than an ordinary friend but this is the kind of treatment I get? At times, you make me sick of myself. You make me look like a foolish desperate little chit.
How wrong I was to let you do this to me. How terribly wrong.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not ask for much. All I want from you is to know that you truly meant what you've said to me.
Is it truly a lot to know where we stand in this relationship now? Is it so much to ask from you for you to show that you care for me? Have you ever taken my thoughts and feelings into consideration? Do you know how hard it is for me right now, to juggle between being the pursuer, taking on the role of the guy in the relationship - if we're even having any - while trying to take my rightful position at the same time?
No. I presume you don't. I don't even think you ever gave a thought about it.
Even if you were to read this, would you even care? Would you read it until the very end?
But this is the last. The last thing I'm going to do for you. I've poured what's left in me for you in here.
Maybe this is the best for both of us. To you, I may an annoyance and a total moron, but you need not fret any longer. Everything is coming to an end.
May you realize that I'm done with you, and come to me no more and an unrequited love I shall have no longer.
a/n: ok... if you wanna flame me, save it up for yourself, really... ok not in my best moods at the moment...