-Chris and Joel: Starbucks-


"Joel I've been thinking about it, and I realized that the way you dealt with mom and dad's death was actually a step forward. Because you were guilty, and while you couldn't face it, you didn't want the guilt anymore, and you were trying to get away from it. That's why you wouldn't stay!"

"You're smiling right now."

"I'm not! I realize you're in pain—"

"You're grinning like you want a pat on the back, just for analyzing my behavior just right."

"I'm not happy you're GUILTY, I'm happy you're making progress."

"Happy as you were after you slept with Slutbag Sally?"

"I never slept with Sl—Sally!"


"—dial tone—"

-Chris and Joel, later, in the line at Starbucks-

"No, really, how'd you know?"

"Large Java chip frappucino please."

"I know a psychiatrist shouldn't believe in things like premonition, but maybe since we're so in tune with each other... because we're brothers, you just know these things? I've always thought..."

"No, by 'large' I meant LARGE. Grande's not even a word. Girl, you're not Italian. I am Italian. You are a cashier."

"I've always thought you knew things, you know, you just gave the impression. I'm not sure if I can put it in words."

"Hey, girl, you don't mix drinks. You can't do the math for my change in your head. Your job is completely devoid of any skill. Don't correct me on my vocabulary, I'm at least 5 years more educated than you."

"I've always thought you were an incredibly sensitive person, Jay, by that I mean more intuitive than I am. You can really hit where it hurts if you want to. You just have a sense of who people are, I think is what I'm trying to say."

"I hate this place."

"No, I'm not going to get anything, thanks—Joel, what I'm trying to say is, you have a sense of who people are."

"Mm. But the coffee's worth it. Maybe I just hate you. You always seem to be here when I'm here."

"Maybe you secretly enjoy finding me here, and that's why you continue to come here."

"Maybe you overtly love me, and since I hate you, you have to pretend to come to Starbucks at the same time as me by accident, and pretend to buy something so you can start a conversation in the line and flatter me so I won't make you shut up as I leave to go do something important."

"Or—or, you're intuitive."

"... I got the Chicago gig."

"Wh—that's great news, Joel! Wow! When are you going to move?"

"Ahh... I don't know. Sometime next fall."

"Well congratulations, man. I knew you could do it."

"No you didn't. You don't even know what I do."

"I had full confidence in you."

"No, you know who had confidence in me, is Dead Mom."

"... Dead Mom?"

"Yeah, you know. Living Mom didn't care less, but she died, and Dead Mom's got my back, you know? Cause she doesn't have meth to distract her now. So I guess she can focus on liking her children."

"Oh, Joel."

"I know. But I just feel a little bit like I have a mother now that mom's dead."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Real therapists don't say that."

"I'm not a therapist."

"All the head cases in the world thank you."

"I'm going to go meditate on this."

"Maybe you better go meditate on getting a fucking job."


"That's right, Tough."

"Uncalled for!"

"-car door-"