1Dedicated to everyone who just doesn't understand why I can't let them know.
Let's start after storm.
After the calm, collected statement
After flying, fleeing heartbeats
After confused, curious glances
After I-knew-it triumphant faces
After eye-widening realization
After remembering this is nothing to celebrate
After a nervous chuckle or two
After swift, silent refusal to accept it
After a few moments to gather thoughts
After taking a deep breath of disappointment
After politely, politically explaining how ludicrous it is
After a hopeful attempt to ignore the problem
After loud, accusing, and sarcastic in the worst ways remarks
After faces red with disbelief
After yelling and screaming to drown it out
After waiting, waiting, waiting for the punch line
After cruel, cold words that cut to the core
After ohmygoditstruewhatnowthiscan'tbehappening
After begging, crying, pleading for it to be taken back
After the last chance passes by
After the sudden, resolute silence
After what could've been just couldn't be
After I turn and walk away from the
broken, bleeding, feebly beating hearts
I've left lying on the floor at their feet
After they ground me for life and then some,
conveniently "forgetting" I have a heart at all
After we becomes
them
and me
After the easy part.
Let's start there.
9.18.07