Ten O'Clock and Pondering

This life of mine
So classified
All my fault
But I like/hate it
There's this security to being mysterious
And utter loneliness

How much of me you'll like
I have no idea
So I keep it hidden

This is one tongue that won't wag
About me or anyone
Who am I to unlock what others keep hidden?

Ack, my life!
Who know how long it'll last?
Huh? Who knows?
Tell me please and it would be so different
My life
I'd say things I'd never before dared to
Do things I normally wouldn't

I mean, who is really normal, anyway?
Gawd, no one.
No one I've met, seen, known
I'm sure I haven't met the weirdest.
Weird, bizarre, not normal
That's who some part of me thinks I am
So the rest of me keeps silent

Who has the key I can't find?
The keys to my heart and soul?
Who has those things I've lost
They were there and then they weren't
Disappeared in the confusion of my teenage mind

No clue
No clue what I want
Except I want to be good and beautiful
I want to be someone someone else will like

It's crazy how I question the truth of people
Do you really like me? No, do you?
Not to their faces, oh never
I would never show my insecurity
Except in the dead of night
Where the logical part of goes stupid
Where the true part of me comes out
Though that's rare now
No one to really share it with
Only a few
And I wouldn't burden them with everything

And it's crazy how we think we're so alone
The only ones
When really we're all alone together.