Yea I'm here...

WISHING for perfection. You know that sort of hope. The kind where its almost not there but that one little "thread" holds it.

I think...who knew i was this selfish?

I want what they've got when I KNOW that there is some one else wishing they had the life I want to change.

Haven't I heard that " Perfection will never come"? It doesn't feel like it.

I hate myself. I hate me for hating me.

I confuse myself...is it right to feel this way?

REALITY:

of course it's not right. You watch them flaunt what you don't have, when the truth is they probably don't have HALF of what you have. They have materialistic things...but do their parents care what happens to them at 12:00 P.M. ?

But wait...what if its not the things they have that i want. it's their friends or boyfriends. people who care.

the age of immaturaty. NOBODY really understands you. you're so far ahead that everything should be easy.

IT'S NOT! Not when there is no one understanding...your best friend is not a friend but a relative or a siblings friend.

"How does that work?" you ask.

Answer: it doesn't.

Tell me, when you need some one, a friend, to listen...are they just a phone call away?

Wouldn't that be great?