Samantha Perry had just moved to Baltimore, but she was drawn by more than her new job. As the costumed super sleuth Valkyrie, she means to clean up the streets. But when she makes the acquaintance of an odd pair of heroes, her life takes a turn for the weird, even by the standards of a spandex-clad crime fighter.

Hello, then. If you're reading this, it means you've clicked on its link. But of course, you've realized that. Here's some information you didn't know.

This story is my second entry in my Three-Way Challenge of DOOM. The basic idea is, I've posted three stories simultaneously, and I'll continue the one that gets the best response. Full details can be found on my profile, along with the links to the other contenders, "Those Who Flirt with Spirits" and "Sophia Daniels and the Gospel of the Night"; in addition, you can find my story "Strange and Senseless Wars" there. No, it's not part of the contest; it's just really good, as I'm told. But I digress.

About this story in particular: The title has nothing to do with the events of the narrative. It's just a little oxymoron I heard somewhere, and wanted to implement in something. And after all, aren't fictional characters like Spiderman, Superman, and Spawn the archetypical legends and mythological gods of our modern pantheon? It certainly bears consideration.

Which reminds me: this is a super hero story. I've drawn my inspiration from a lot of the major players in the comic book industry; one character mentioned in passing is meant as something of an homage to DC's Batman, and I named most of my characters according to the conventions of Image. Say what you will about their writing; when a comic has characters with names like Violator, Die-Hard, or Zealot, you know that there's going to be some serious asskicking within its pages.

While I drew a lot of ideas from the pages of Vertigo, DC, Marvel, and Dark Horse comics, this story's creation was sparked by a much more local work. In the seventh issue of Stop The Press, a newsletter run by own Burnt Bread, there were several prompts issued for super hero stories by one Solemn Coyote; it was something of a call to arms, and something of a challenge. I won't yet reveal which one I crafted this around, as it's a fairly significant plot point... But I will whole-heartedly recommend giving Stop The Press a read, and not just because I've started to contribute to it. Chock full of tips on writing fiction from some of best and brightest (and also me), it will not only make you a better writer; it will make you a better person. Will more friends, more money, and larger genitals than your creator initially gave you. You've got the Disturbly Guarantee on that.

What else...? Oh, yeah; listen up, because this is important: All characters within this story are fictional; they are imaginary people who live in my head. Their viewpoints and opinions do not represent the author's. Seriously people, I don't want to get any flames for that kind of crap.

And on that uplifting note, I invite you to turn the page and begin "Orthodox Legends".

-Disturbly.

(Disturbly Guarantee not valid on planet Earth.)