You have limited or no connectivity

Sorry if the title is a little misleading, but it'll make sense. I promise.

So, today I'm sitting in a class that I don't really like. I mean, I like the subject, but for some reason being in the atmosphere of that class makes me angry. It really isn't the professor (he's alright), it isn't the other students (I hardly know any of them and the few I've interacted with are alright), and it isn't the subject.

I was clueless as to why I would always get angry whenever I attended this class and leave in a foul mood, seeing as how I rarely get angry, and when I do get angry I know what I'm angry at.

And then today, as I was riding the bus home, I came upon a hypothesis.

Maybe, just maybe, the class made me angry because it made me realize how disconnected from other people I am. I mean, I'm no social recluse, but just hear me out. Whenever it would come to discussing whatever the topic of the day was, I would often disagree with what others said, however I wouldn't say anything because I wondered if my opinion had any basis.

Before you think it, I know that it's important for one to think for themselves; I agree. I know that my opinion won't always be a part of the majority, and usually I'm just fine with it, but for some reason I got the impression that I wasn't like anyone else in that room.

I know that everyone is born different and unique with something that makes them 'them', thus in theory -no one- is exactly alike (unless you're an identical twin), but I always assumed that there was a universal connectivity of humanity, which by that I mean that in a given society, the members of said society feel, on some level, connected with his peer, even if they're complete strangers. I guess the true definition can't really be captured and caged by words, but I suppose this is what it would be like if it were given written form. In any case, I always assumed that there was this connectivity of humanity and I guess I always felt like I was outside of this connection of bonds that should come so natural to humans.

I mean, I've never had many friends, and friends I did make usually didn't last long (or outside of a certain context, i.e. school for example) and it wasn't because of the other people that I made friends with, it was because of me.

Now, I'm not saying that I feel misunderstood, because I do have people that understand me, support me, and love me, which is more than what many could ever say about their current lives (and what many wish they could say). It's just, in that class room I felt so disconnected and it disturbed me, and I guess for some reason that reaction birthed anger.

And then I realized something else; what if I'm not the only one who feels this way? It wouldn't be logical for me to be the only one to have this feeling, just as it would be illogical for only one person to be the lone individual to feel anger. What if, deep down inside, some people (or even, daresay all people) felt this lack of connection, but they never say anything because they all assume that this connectivity of humanity exists and to bring attention to their deficit would be like admitting they were a freak. What if everyone felt this sort of depravity but never said anything, thus perpetuating this lack of connectivity?

What if someone changed that?

What if we really all were connected? What if we found out that no one ever had to feel alone or disconnected again because wherever there were people, there was another connection that existed; a new and exciting possibility.

Another friend, another confidant, another person to joke around with, drink with, have fun with, drive with, fly with, swim with, live with, sing with, dance with, fall with, laugh with, cry with, watch/clown movies with, eat with, lift with, talk with, dream with, scream with, have adventures with, sleep with, or do "whatever" with.

And then my stop came up and I had to fight my way to the front of the bus.

However, I think that there's some measure of truth in my observation of myself and other people. Hmph, who knows, maybe it's just the ramblings of another broke college student.

-DiamondKing