You Weren't The Same

I felt my fear rise...and the tears form
I didn't want them to come
but I was soo scared
soo scared
soo ashamed
to admit I was one of those that took
everything for granted
and forgot you were once family
(you were once my...uncle)
and it hurts me, hurts me, hurts me
to stand here and say that
I never said goodbye
that last day because I was one of those who thought
another day will come
and I didn't brush your hair the way you used to like us to do
or hold your hand
(or look you in the eye)
but looking at you was torture to my heart
laying in that bed for two years
you couldn't move
you weren't the same
they kept saying you were the same
but you weren't
and I never told you I loved you
I never told you I loved you
and it haunts me EVERY DAY
the way I lost every chance to
..love.. you
and I remember it clearly
I was scared to face the Uncle I was
afraid of
for two years
you weren't the same you weren't the same you weren't the same
& I remember breaking down before I even saw you because
guilt can do funny things like that
and fear can break people like that
I held so much hope because I messed so much up
but they said there was no hope
and I cried and cried
because I forgot about you
you weren't the same
I swear it, you weren't the same
or maybe I wasn't the same
and I remember seeing you laying there
but too afraid to kiss your dead dead DEAD face
because I was afraid you would hate me even more
hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite
they all scream
BUT HE WASNT THE SAME
you weren't the same...

...but I would give so much for you to be back
different or the same
because now that you are gone
I have so much to say
(and I'd start it off with I love you
and can we still be the same)
but it stays the same
and you never come back
and I never forgive myself for being
too late and too afraid
of change and things that weren't the same