Author's Note: O: ZOMG, its chapter two! –le gasp- And just a day after I finished the first one. I would have been done earlier, but sometimes I had to postpone chapter writing because of homework, my sister (because the computer is in her room), and other things. But, at least I actually was able to finish the first chapter of the story; as of now, I'm still having trouble trying to write SYM, but maybe after I get this story out of the day, I might have thought of something to add into the story before I get to the naughty bits. (That's one of the entertaining things in the story. D: Virgins losing their virginity.) Anyway, I really don't have much to say about this chapter. . . Other than Seiji has screwed up pretty badly and things will begin to go downhill from here. So, prepare my friends. :3 (I don't bother putting warnings anymore. I'm pretty much telling you what will happen in the chapters if I do that.)


A Sinner's Reprieve

Chapter 2: Boiler


I opened my eyes.

And I could barely see.

My tears were like a blockage of tough glue. Biting my lip, I rubbed my eyes quickly and stood to my feet, still naked, still sticky, with sweat pouring down my neck and legs. I had been sitting there in my room, crouched down for several minutes blocking out the noise of my mom and dad shouting at each other. As of now, I didn't hear a thing anymore.

It was just pure silence.

I sniffled slightly with my eyes narrowed. What should I do? Just sit here and wait to see if something else happens? Or see what the heck is going on now . . . and why it's gotten so quiet . . .? Sitting there, still crouched, I thought to myself. Like there was so much to think about; all I had to do is make one choice, but I was so scared to see what was happening now. Well, what had happened at least?

Weakly and silently, I stood to my feet. For a moment, I stood there in complete silence. I heard nothing anymore; it was like I was in a deserted wasteland. Swallowing (nearly getting spit caught in my throat because I was so frightened); I shakily grabbed my boxers from the floor and slid them on, and then picked up my shirt and my jeans, putting them on also. When I was finished, I found myself gazing at the door.

It felt like my heart was going to come out my chest.

It felt like my mind was slowly turning into mush.

"Go. . . Go, you idiot."

I walked forward, breathing as hard as possible to at least gain a small amount of confidence as I stepped towards the door. This door was the only separation from my room and Hell. And I was the main cause of Hell forming outside of my bedroom. Would it be as bad as I thought it was going to be when I stepped out of my door?

Unknowingly, I had placed my hand on the knob and seemed to be staring out into space. When I finally gained my composure back, I slowly shook my head and turned the knob, pushing the door forward as it slowly opened. The first thing I saw was the back of my father, standing near the foot of the stairs. I became wide eyed for a moment, and then finally placed one foot outside of the door. I could already feel the bad atmosphere; the air seemed stale, stagnant. I was trembling more than I thought I seemed to be, because I felt my door making small sounds before I finally let go of the knob.

My attention went back to my dad, who was standing at the stairs silently. It was like I hadn't even come out of the room, because he didn't even turn around or budge.

"D-Dad?"

I tried to bring a smile on my face as I slowly approached him. As I was about to lie my hand on his back, he turned around quickly and looked down at me. I looked back up at him, and saw the broken and unreadable expression that was written over his face like pen. I was speechless.

Should I say something first?

"Dad—"

"I'm leaving."

For a moment, those two words he had spoken to me hadn't registered correctly in my mind. In hearing him speak, I slowly gazed up in him. It was like he hadn't even said a thing to me. He was looking back again at me once more, and then he closed his eyes, sighing. "I'm leaving. And never coming back." I felt this sudden jolt on the inside of my body as I heard this. Maybe this was an invitation to-?

"Dad, what happened? Tell me what happened-!"

"I doesn't take a genius to figure out what went on, Seiji."

The only thing I could do was stand there helplessly, staring in my father's direction. Things had went downhill like I had thought they would; things had gone to bad to even worse now that my mother knew, and there was no telling if my brother knew or not. (Unless he was gone through the period of which my mom and dad were screaming and arguing at each other.) Through my thoughts, I felt the floor creak a little and I came back to reality to find my father starting to walk downstairs slowly. Blinking rapidly, I followed after him.

When he sensed my presence, he sighed silently.

"Seiji, I'm leaving."

"W-Well. . . I want to COME WITH YOU! Take me with you!"

I grabbed him tightly by the arm, staring up at him frantically. He shook his head, protesting by trying his best to pull away and talking to me in a soothing, yet frightening voice.

"No, not anymore-"

"B-But, BUT what about me?! What will I do that mom knows now?!"

Oh God, he was going to walk out on me.

Just like that.

And it's all because of me.

"Seiji, I-" he began to say, and then he shook his head, pulling his arm away from my tight grasp, "You can't come with me. No, I won't take you with me. . . You'll just have to stay here and figure things out on your own." He started to walk down the stairs again. I felt my heart dropping, but my anger rising higher than I had ever felt it before. Stomping after him, I snatched him by the back of his shirt. "I DIDN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

I feel like I was the whole cause of this, but what was the point of me just blaming it on myself? I really wasn't the only one who started this . . . right? He was still pulling back and pushing me away, nearing the door even more. I was getting frustrated, I felt like screaming and shouting louder than I was doing at the moment, I felt my whole composure just breaking down slowly as I felt tears starting to well in my eyes. Was he really going to leave me like this?! To suffer on my own with what I had done with a mother who was feeling like God knows what? At my end, I pulled myself to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly, begging and pleading.

"Don't leave. . . Don't leave me. . . Don't leave me here. . . Take me with you. . . I don't want to suffer! Don't you understand?!"

With the broken expression he was giving me and the slightly pathetic look in his eyes, I thought maybe I had finally struck a cord. That maybe I had just saved myself from something horrible that would happen to me and ruin me even more than what was going on now. I felt my insides beginning to fill with hope as he opened his mouth, trying to speak to me and reply to my words. He did open his mouth, and then stared down at his feet frowning.

"Seiji…"

Gingerly, I placed my head against his chest, feeling it move up and down as he breathed slowly. Somehow, it kind of relaxed me, or maybe I was just hallucinating. (Hoping that anything would calm and cure the fear that was inside of my heart at the moment.) "I can't take you with me." That once again hit me hard, extremely hard. The only thing I could do was helplessly stand there as he pushed me back and turned around, opening the door and walking out the car. I saw the keys in his hand, ready to put it in the ignition and drive off.

I was determined to stop him. Wildly running after him, I managed to somehow pry the keys out of the tight grip of his hands and hold them tightly in my own, holding them in front of me and looking at him with demanding eyes. "DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE! I WANT TO GO WITH YOU! I WANT TO GO WITH YOU!" He only murmured my name shaking his head, trying to get the keys back from me. I shook my head and felt the tears finally beginning to form full force in the corner of my eyes. In a second, they would be coming like a stream. "What about me, huh? What about me?! I'm suffering too, I hurting too! I did wrong too; I don't want to stay here either! Take me with you, don't leave me alone! I won't even be able to be around with mom now without feeling like complete shit-!"

"I'm sorry, Seiji. I can't take you-"

"AND WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"

"Because-"

"BECAUSE IS NOT A GOOD ANSWER!"

I think I had screamed that loud enough for every person in the neighborhood could hear; and I bet my mother was cringing at the sound of her wicked child's voice right now. But I didn't care, I wanted to leave. I wanted to run away, I wanted to escape this hell. A Hell that I created with my own sins and desire for pleasure. But, at the same time, my mind was just telling me to give up and let him go. What good would it do to run away? We would feel even worse than we did now.

"I. . . I would bring you with me but, I just can't—"

I don't know how long I stood there and stared at him. I didn't know how I felt anymore. Utter crap? Used? Used complete shit with legs? Angrily and broken, I closed my eyes and flung the keys in his direction as fast and as hard as I could. "Keep your damn keys." I put my hands on my face, letting the tears finally flow now. Oh God, I'm so helpless. Kill me now while I'm still standing outside. Make a random car come out of nowhere and run me over. Let a sudden bolt of lightning come down and strike me dead right in the driveway. Let some strange guy run up the street and stab me in my heart and make me forget my sorrows. Life is my Hell now.

"Seiji."

His voice sounded as helpless as mine had once sounded. I felt his arms wrap around me; and memories of what we had done and the things we had did just today came coming into my mind. My knees were starting to get weaker and weaker and weaker. He planted a soft, slow kiss on my forehead, and then pulled back, walking back to the driver's side of the car. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry, Seiji." At does constant 'sorry's the only thing I could do was cry harder and harder.

I hate myself.

Before I knew it, I was standing in an empty driveway. It was like a car hadn't even been sitting there just a few minutes before. And I had been standing there the whole time through my tears, watching him back out of the driveway and go down the road.

What would I do now?

I could run to another family member's house. If I even told them why I was there, it would spark some kind of confusion and I would end up telling them the whole thing. And then everybody would think I was awful and pretty much banish me too. The only solution was for me to run away. I would run away as far as possible-

Footsteps behind me.

Wiping my tears away, I quickly turned around and spotted my little brother was walking up the sidewalk and into the driveway. Biting my lip, I tried to look as normal as possible.

"Seiji, why are you standing outside?"

"Um, I- I was just bored so I decided to watch the cars pass by and stuff. . . Yeah, I know I'm weird." I managed a laugh, but it was like I had choked it out just barely.

"Yeah, you are pretty weird," He blinked and then leaned to the side, "Where's dad's car? Did he put it in the garage or something? Or did he leave to go to the restaurant or some other place?" He eyed me when he finished his sentence. Feeling my insides starting to tear apart of again, I made up the closest and most believable lie I could think of. "Well, he went off somewhere to collect some supplies for his restaurant," I barely got pass my lips, "He said he doesn't know when he'll be back, so don't wait up for him to be home so soon." I then straightened up a bit. "Where have you been anyway, Shiro?"

"TO A FRIEND'S!"

Shiro smirked and walked into the house. He was so oblivious sometimes. Even a blind man could see that I wasn't exactly my happiest at the moment. But my little brother was so gullible at times. . . But, he was just a little ten year old so maybe he didn't even notice the way I was acting. He was probably to busy thinking about the latest Pokemon episode or something (or whatever he watches.)

Sighing, I found myself staring down the street one more time before I walked into the house.

Helpless.


A few hours had gone by and I found myself standing at my parent's door. And I mean, just standing there looking at it, hesitating. I had gotten this weird consolation stuck inside my head that maybe if I were to try to talk to my mother and tell her how it would happened, it would at least take some of the weight off of my chest. Then again, I could probably just make it worse by talking to her. I was the person my dad had been cheating on after all; I bet she would have rather walked in on him with another woman she didn't know, but instead she walked in on her husband having sex with her own son.

I bet that was a huge self-esteem downgrade for her.

"Mom?"

I spoke silently, leaning against the door. It was really silent, but I heard a little movement inside the room. Earlier, I had heard a lot of ruckus going on upstairs. My brother nearly freaked out and ran out of the house, but I calmed him down enough to make him stay in the living room while I went to go check it out to see what it is. I had come to the conclusion that my mom had probably gone nuts and started throwing crap around the room and breaking glass, because when I leaned against the door earlier, I heard grunting and groaning, sometimes screaming, and things hitting walls and breaking glass.

I tried to make it seem like something had gotten into the roof. But I think Shiro thought otherwise, because he gave me a suspicious look while I was explaining it to him. He was smarter than he seemed sometimes.

When I didn't get a reply from her the first time, I continued to call her silently, sometimes knocking at the door.

She still didn't answer back to me. Instead of just standing there doing the same thing over and over again, I closed my eyes and began to talk.

"Mom, I… I want to talk to you about… About today, what you saw. It wasn't what you—well, it was but it was all a big mistake. It wasn't meant to happen, I promise. It was my fault, not dad's fault. I could tell you more, but you have to open the door so we can talk alone. I don't want Shiro to overhear us talking out here—"

"I don't want to talk. I won't talk to you."

I went silent for a moment, slowly swallowing.

"I know you don't, but you have to listen—!"

"Shut up. I don't want to talk to you. . . Don't talk to me. I don't to ever see you again, OR TALK TO YOU."

And then everything went silent.

I stood there with my eyes narrowed. My whole body seemed to droop over as I finally realized what she had just said to me. I needed to keep my tears back; I didn't want to make my brother wonder what was going on more than he did now. Trembling slightly and my mind racing with self hate and sorrow, I turned around—

To find my brother standing there near the bathroom door.

A speechless look on his face.

I blinked, and then my eyes widened a bit.

He probably heard everything mom had said to me.

Angry that he had completely ignored what I had said (about staying downstairs while I went to go check on mom again), I frowned and made the most pissed off look I could possible make.

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STAY DOWNSTAIRS?!"

"I- Seiji, why did mom say those things to you?! What happened—?"

"It's none of your business. Mom's upset and—"

"Does this have to do with Dad Leaving a few hours ago?" His eyes were wide and curious. Angrily, I stomped over to him, grabbing him by his shirt and tugging him downstairs behind me, biting my lip as I tried to force back my cracking voice as hard as possible.

"NO STUPID, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT OKAY?! IT DOESN'T MATTER! MOM IS UPSET AND SHE WAS ANGRY THAT I WAS BOTHERING HER!"

I let go of him and stomped into the kitchen, pissed off. I tried to finish the food that I had started cooking to my best ability, but couldn't find myself to do it with my brother standing behind me watching me intently. He was probably picking up things one by one. "But Mom never takes or anger out on us or talks to us like that unless we did something bad! Seiji, what did you do to her?! What did you do to Mom—?" Angry and tired of it, I threw the large wooden spoon I had in my hand onto the corner and turned around, screaming.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER SO FUCKING DROP IT AND SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE! GOD, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!"

"All I was doing was asking—!"

"WELL DON'T FUCKING ASK THEN, IDIOT!"

He was about to retort with a few screams back, and then he stopped, looking back at me with an angry, burning look.

"Fine, I won't, asshole."

And then he turned and walked out of the kitchen and into the living room; I clearly heard the television come on and him plop down angrily on the couch. Did that little fucker just call me an 'asshole'? HE WAS ONLY TEN. God, I need to watch who he hangs out with nowadays—wait, he's usually always around me. . . Wow.

Placing my hand on my face, I picked up the wooden spoon I had thrown and began to clean up the food that I had splattered on the wall and onto the counter.

And as I did this, I tried to keep back my emotions.

And my own thoughts.


There was supposed to be originally more in this chapter, but I thought that six pages had reached the limit of my chapter criteria and decided to stop it here. ;D You'll have to read the next chapter to see what happens. Will Seiji finally break, or will something else happen that will cause Seiji's guilt and pain to become even more horrific than it already is? To the next chapter, mate!