Forgotten Innocence of a Lonely Child

Nose deep in soft mud, responsibility like roots

wrapping around my legs, pulling down

My own expectation like two big hands on my shoulders

pushing down

Mentally, I lift away

I remember, no one to play with

that was fine, I had so many toys

Strech Arm Strong, stretched until his arms snapped

my own black-and-white for Saturday morning cartoons!

My imagination kept me busy

not too many one-player games, though

That's why I loved my aunt's house

my two cousins, like brothers

we'd pretend! I'd be the Bionic Man

or Captain America was my favorite

Jumping off picnic tables, pretending to fly

no, we COULD fly

I WAS a super hero

for a little while, anyway

Sleeping over, eating sugar cereal in the morning

giggling until milk sprayed out our noses

I would go along with any game they wanted to play

I was just happy to have someone playing, too

but then responsibility showed up unannounced

in the form of a tall brunette with evil eyes

and a mouth full of venom to match

the perfect child

pretty high standards, don't you think?

beaten, yelled at or punished daily

I didn't understand

I needed counseling because I just didn't get it

so I got dropped off at his office

and he would say things in his soft-spoken manner

just to make me cry

so he could slide his chair closer

put his hand on mine

and rub my shoulders

oh, my imagination running wild again

let's keep going back

I think it's working

only when I said that if you dropped me off on more time

you would never see me again

did you finally take me seriously

now that I think back

and reflect

I'd prefer breathing mud from the bog