Slam. The sound of a door rushing into a wall on the after being thrust open. That is the normal sound of my father coming home. The greeting to only my ears. Steps can be heard from down the hall to the kitchen where I am putting the monsters food on the table. Most time no words are spoken as we sit down for dinner and I like it that way, but few times there were just some grunts from the opposite side of the table. But tonight I guess the man called my father wanted to torment me.

"What did you do in school today?"

"The same stuff everyday, learn."

Slam. Crap I think I made him mad.

"I know that you stupid girl. I asked what?!"

"I ummm learned about the civil war and presented a French project."

"Good and what did you get on this project?"

"An A+."

"Good. You're at least good at something."

"Better then you." I mumbled.

"What was that?!"


"It was something. Do you not agree with me?!"

"No it's just-" I was caught off guard by the lemonade pitcher coming flying in my direction. I shrieked as I dogged it and flung myself to the ground with my hands and arms covering my head for protection.


He didn't have to tell me twice. I leapt to my feet and ran up the stairs as fast as my feet could take me. I never thought that my father would throw a lemonade pitcher at me head! Yeah he would shove me around sometimes and maybe even a kick in the leg, but he had never done something this bad. I kinda always knew every since my mom did die and he pushed me for the first time things would get worse. But I didn't want to believe it. Just think, the father that would attend all your swim meets and cheer competitions, and that would nurse you back to health when you were sick beating on you. Hard to believe ? Well believe it because this is my life.


"Hello Patterson residents. Whom would you like to speak with?" That right there is the dumb robotic answer I have to give every time I answered this stupid phone.

"Hey Kendra its Mary."

"Oh hey cuz what sup?"

"I wanted to know if you wanted to sleep over tonight. My mom called Uncle Bobby and he said it was fine."

"Yeah sure that would be fun."

"Okay good because me and Elizabeth are on our way over right now hahahah."

"Hahaha okay ill see you soon. Just come in the house the door is unlocked. Then you could help me pack my bag."

"Okay see you in a few."

Mary and Elizabeth Patterson. They were my two cousins and identical twins. I could talk to them about problems I was having and they did the same with me. We would also usually vent to each other. They were both a year older then me and were going to a community collage, living at home. Their parents Aunt Sophie and Uncle Phill were like parents to me. If I needed anything I would ask them for help, they didn't know about what my dad did though. No one did and it was going to stay that way.

So because I was so close to that part of my family I spent a lot of time with them. So I had sleepovers with my cousins on a regular basis and my father was fine with it. He told me it gives him more time not to see my ungrateful face. But in this house what is there to be grateful for?

Knock, knock, knock.

"Come in!"

"Hey chicka"

"Hey Elizabeth, where's Mary?"

"She's downstairs talking to Uncle Bobby. Are you all done packing or do you still need my help?"

"Umm can you just grab my toothbrush from the bathroom while I grab my pillow and blanket, then we can go."

"No prob."

I went to grab my blanket and pillow when my cell phone rang. I looked on the collar idea and answered as I smiled.

"Hello Ian."

"Hey pookie what's up?"

"First I'm not a pookie and second nottin much, getting ready to go to my aunts to sleep over. How bout you?"

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party and you can bring your cousins, there fun, so what you say?"

"Umm yeah sure just pick us up at their house at about eight thirty?"

"Yup that's good. See you then."


Wow a party? Now I got to pack other stuff. I hurried across my pink and black painted room and to my walk in closet looking for a good outfit that could be good for the party. Jeans? No. jean skirt? Yes. Now for a shirt….hummm I'll bring a red tank top, tonight I'm not going as miss goody good, I'll be a normal teenager at a teenage party. My father will never know. Hopefully.

After packing my other cloths I walked down stairs to see my father talking with a smile on his face to my two cousins. They had no clue how cruel this man could be. After a short good bye I ushered the twins out the door and into there car. I sat in the back while they got up front. We were on the road for about five minutes when I decided to tell them the plans for tonight.

"Hey girls, Ian called and asked if we wanted to go to a party so I told him yes. Is that okay with the both of you?"

"Yeah sure…..hey umm Kendra do you like Ian?"

"What, in like what way?"

"Like do you LIKE him LIKE him?" asked Elizabeth.

"NO I like him as a friend that's all. Why would you guys think that?"

"Well you two are always hanging out. And you would look sooo cute together!" Mary exclaimed.

"UMMM NOOO! Seriously this is Ian we are taking about. He's, he's I don't even know but ewww no."

"What's wrong with it? Ian is really cute."

"You guys I just don't see him like that. Case closed."

"Whatever you say."

Soon we were in Ian's car and on our way to the party. This time I got to sit upfront with Ian. I played with the radio until I found a station I liked. It was the R&B station. I was not allowed to listen to it at home so whenever I got the chance to I took it.

"So ken, look at you. Dressin all sexy. You know you don't have to impress me." Ian smiled at me with a glint in his eye.

"Oh get over your self Ian. I decided that for one night I'm not going to be miss goody good. Tonight I will be a normal teenage girl."

"Ohh really? Well good luck with that Kendra, we all know you are the perfect goody. That's why I love you so much."

"You just watch. You might need help trying to calm me down tonight."

"I'm sure." He sarcastically replied with a smirk on his face.

Driving down the road with the window open I felt like I was soaring. I love the feeling of the wind grinding against my cheeks that were now a rosy red. The sound of the radio was drowned out and all I could hear were the passing cars. I felt like my life was like a highway. Moving fast but it seems like it can go on forever. The crashes, they burn into me but I don't feel it, I feel invincible but know with one wrong move everything falls.

I stop thinking about everything going on around me and just stare out to the black road that looks endless how I wish that I could be free like the open sky looking over everything. The car comes to a stop and we all get out. Looking around I see we are at Kelly's house. Remember the ditzy cheerleader? Yeah well this is her house. People are hanging around the yard and music is blasting. We make our way up her driveway and come to see Michelle and Broady.

"Kendra! Oh my god you came!" Michelle yelled over to me as she made her way over.

"Yup. Aren't you proud?"

"Hell yeah, finally you come to one of the parties. How the hell did you get your dad to say yes?"

"Well I didn't ask him. I just came."

"Gasp! KENDRA I never would think you would do something like that!"

"Well I wanted to try something new for a change so shoot me."

"HAHAHA only if I could."

"Shut up."

"Come on lets get you guys some drinks." Broady put in.

"Aright let's go."

We walked up to the door and Ian pushed it open. I was stricken with the smell of smoke from joints I was guessing as to there were people in the corner smoking them. My eyes watered for a second until they adjusted to the atmosphere. My hand was grabbed by a warm one and I followed the arm that had hold of me and it was meet with Ian's body. He tugged my hand and led me through the crowd and to the kitchen. Once inside we walked up to a bar area and the guy hosting it looked over at us.

"What would you ladies like first." The tender asked Michelle Mary Elizabeth and I.

"Well I would like to have a Green Meanie." Michelle replied.

"Umm we'll have Bajian Blu Waters" the twins ordered.

"Well I um don't really-"

"She will have a Lemony Snicket." Ian ordered for me.

"What's a lemony Snicket?"

"It has vodka, lemon juice, cranberry juice and grenadine syrup. You'll love it, it tastes great."

"Okay I'll try it."

After five minuets of waiting for the drink it was finally done. I picked it up and slowly brought it to my lips. As soon as the first sip was taken I felt different. Not in the sense of being dizzy but of doing something for the first time that I was not supposed to. It felt like a rush of emotions all at once. I know it sounds crazy. It's just a drink. But to me it is so much more. I looked to my friends and they looked surprised. Well who wouldn't be? I was a goody good. Never would anyone think of me to do something like this. But I'm glad I did.

I was only going to have one drink. That I know because that was a rush enough for me. I wanted to actually remember the night.

Swaying to the music with my friends in a circle I was having a blast. The night was going great. There were drunk kids around us and it was pretty funny to see how they all acted most of them making fools of themselves. I felt bad for Kelly because she was going to have to clean all this up. But right now she was dancing on a table seeming to have no care in the world.

It was about two in the morning so we decided it was time to go home. My cousins and I got into Ian's car and I was happy to say none of us were drunk. The ride home seemed shorter then the one to the party but I think that was just because I was tied. The car was silent and no one moved to put the music on. It wasn't an eerie silence though, it was a relaxing one. When we pulled up into the drive way I said good night to Ian then the girls and I got out of the car and headed to the house. In about ten minuets of getting home we all collapsed on beds and fell asleep. That night I didn't dream at all. My dreams were as dark as the night sky.

Chirp, Chirp. Tip tap, tip tap, thump, thump.

Eeeerrrggg what are they doing out there? All the noise! What time is it?

I looked over to the night stand and read the clock. It said it was one thirty. Oh my god I slept really late. I looked around the room and saw I was sleeping on Mary's bed, she was half way falling off and Elizabeth was in the other bed. I decided to pay a visit to my Aunt and Uncle. But first I needed to brush my teeth because I forgot to last night. I walked to the bathroom after grabbing my toothbrush and started to rid my mouth of any left over smells of the alcohol. After that was done I headed down stairs.

"Hey Aunt Sophie!" I exclaimed as I hugged my very beautiful and loveable aunt. She was a great person and my hero.

"Hey Kendra. How was that party last night?"

"Oh it was fun. I danced with my friends the whole night."

"Oh that's nice. Well your father called and told me he wanted you home at two so I can drive you whenever you're ready."

"Okay are you ready now?"

"Yeah let me just get my keys and ill meet you by the car okay?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks for the ride." I told my Aunt after she drove me home. She waved then pulled out of the drive way and head back to her house.

Back to the place that I know as home. Walking up the pathway it felt like I was walking death row. Something was wrong and I knew it. When I slept at my Aunts my dad would pick me up or stay and have dinner. But he didn't make an appearance. That meant he was really mad about something. When I reached the door I opened it with caution. Looking both directions of the hall way I say nothing so I stepped in. I was making my way down the hall and a silent but quick pace.

SLAM. I was thrown into a wall, my head slammed into the edge of the door frame that was leading to the closet.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" a piece of paper was thrown at my face and I lifted a shaky hand to inspect the paper. Oh shit. It was my progress report and there was an F on it.






I was being tossed and thrown into things. My head felt as if was going to explode. I never should have yelled back but really how much yelling could I have taken? All I know now is that this is the worst pain I have ever been in. and my journey of pain is just beginning.