Regret

Meaningless.
To have lost you so soon
And without a simple goodbye.
Not a kiss nor a hug,
Not a handshake nor a nod.

She held you in her arms as I sped away,
Belying in her smile
The comfort that I held in my heart:
That I'd see you again.

Your tiny smile and your chubby arms,
How'd you bear them so freely
And now gone
The knowledge they exist.

To see your eight tiny teeth
And your goofy little smile
I strain my memory for a glimpse.

How you'd hold my finger,
How you'd hold my face,
To turn my head at your direction
And demand an embrace.

The laughter that got me
Up in the morning.
The sobs that worried my sanity.
Were you ok? Were you safe?

It's all gone now, and she gave me liberty.
Not to worry about you
Not to punish nor discipline.
And in its place left.
A void which none can fill.

Imprisonment was my joy because you were in it.

My little Ashton Paul.