2A/N: Some of these quotes have looooooong stories that I'm not willing to go into. Others are just random. xD Most are funnier if you know the whole story, and you know, it's a in the moment thing. You've gotta have the surroundings and know the story for it to be funny. xD
1.
Zach 2 "TIMMY! PICK THE UNIKERN!"
2.
Allena (Reading): Jero...nemo. (Everyone laughs)
Ethon: It's geronomo! Who doesn't know that?!
Zach: Yeah, it's the one thing Allena doesn't know.
3.
Me: (sees person wearing all black) Hey, look! Hot emo dude!
(me, my friend, and her mom go into the checkout line behind the hot emo dude)
(hot emo dude turns around to go get some chips for his mom)
Me: AFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Ixi: Dude, you just made me deaf in one ear!
Friend's mom: What?
Ixi: She just saw a guy wearing an AFI shirt. It's like one of her favorite bands.
(hot emo guy comes back)
Me: Dude, is that a HIM hoodie he's wearing? I think I'm in love..
(guy leaves store laughing)
Me: And the one time I dress in hot pink and you dress emo.. The world's against me!
Friend's mom: I think his mom is related to Allena...
Me: Ew ew ew! Nevermind..
5 minutes later: Me: I'm going to have to ask Allena what his name is...
4.
Me: "Hey, everyone's pretty much over Adam by now."
Ixi: "Yeah, I think it happened sometime after the time he stopped brushing the back of his hair..."
One month later:
Me: "HEY, look, Adam started brushing the back of his hair again!"
5.
Razz's Mom: "Are you okay?"
Razz: "Yeah."
-everyone is looking at her like, "whattt?"-
Razz's mom: "Oh, I hit her with the van this morning."
Razz: Now that you mention it, I think my arm hurts a little!
6.
printer starts printing something out of the blue in class
Teacher quoting what the piece of paper said: "Hello, my name is printer. How are you today?"
Teacher: ...If it does that again, I'm moving out.
She actually held the paper up and showed us. It was weirrrrrd. xD
7.
"I swear to drunk I'm not God!" - Cameron
8.
"Party like a white boy, party like a white boy!" - Cameron he says these things reallllllly loud while walking down the hall, that's why it's so funny. xD Keep in mind this is the guy who wore his girlfriend's bubblegum pink hoodie.
9.
secretary came to hand us purple sheet reminders about back to school night They had given us green, yellow, and white sheets on previous days of that week, all saying the same thing.
Me: They're killing purple trees!
Less than a second later...
Teacher: They're killing trees, and purple ones at that!
Me and my friend start laughing like maniacs and everyone starts staring
10.
Razz It's like that one little piece of your hair is on CRACK
complimenting my amazing hair days, of course. my hair is ALWAYS on frickin crack..
11.
Zach - Hey! I'm Doctor Phil-billy!
12.
Tyler: Hey, Zach, staple yourself again!
Zach: I don't have the stapler anymore!
Tyler: Oh.. then staple yourself with a crayon!
13.
Abby: Tyler, can I put lip gloss on you?
Tyler: solemn nod
Abby: REALLY?! excited
Tyler: nod
Ben: What does it DO?!
14
Tyler: Quite flipping pencils at my butt!
insert questioning looks
Tyler: Kyle keeps flipping pencils at my butt!
15.
please... look at the times...
Adriana says (10:16 PM):
"i am still waiting for the day you guys decide to share your secrets" or something liek that.
I thought it was all getting better, but maybe it was just all an illusion. says (11:21 PM):
Adwee, tell me what rachee sent :P
Adriana help says (11:25 PM):
it was the secret thing.
I thought it was all getting better, but maybe it was just all an illusion. says (11:25 PM):
OHHHH!
I thought it was all getting better, but maybe it was just all an illusion. says (11:25 PM):
now i get it!
I thought it was all getting better, but maybe it was just all an illusion. says (11:25 PM):
i swear im blonde i swear
Adriana help says (11:25 PM):
ROFL!
I thought it was all getting better, but maybe it was just all an illusion. says (11:26 PM):
i feel like an idiot
Adriana help says (11:27 PM):
Oh man, I love you.
16.
Me: I KNOW BUT THE PICTURE LOOKS LIKE HE IS A CHILD MOLESTER
Moon: LOL to me he is the one who looks like a child
Me: well fine then FUTURE CHILD MOLESTER
17.
Me: we're getting married, me and nicholas. :)
Me: now all i need to do is find him, chain him down, and tell him he's marrying me.
18.
Me: Tell him your mommy won't let you, tell him there's an evil green monster that will kill you if you date anyone, tell him that you're secretly a ninja and can't date anyone... ANYTHING!
19.
Me: Oh, Moon, Adam started brushing the back of his hair again.
20.
Adri was trying to think of random things about her for a quiz thing
Adri's friend:you can put "I have a friend who by request name is not mentioned who likes the smell of unused toilet paper" cuz most people can't say that
Adri: ROFL
21. using an online dare site
Me: So adri. I got "I dare you to go fuck somebody"
22.
Me: the most amazing thing today that has happened is that kyle spelled scientist right.
23.
Me: Ask me why I'm so sleepy.
Ixi: Okay, why are you so sleepy?
Me: I was up all night trying to figure out how to use my new online diary.
24.
Me: I love your adris, idea
Me: wait
Me: ideas, adri
Adri: ROFL! That was the best typo ever!
25.
another typo
Me: Joe're you?
26
Adriana help says (10:52 PM):
anyways, tell him your hobbies include, erm, something about killing people,
Adriana help says (10:52 PM):
or eating babies.
Adriana help says (10:53 PM):
dismembering ex-boyfriends.
Adriana help says (10:53 PM):
pouring acid on people that can't spell.
Adriana help says (10:53 PM):
you know, something like that.
27
Teacher: Zach, you made an 0 on that test.
Zach: What, why?!
Teacher: Because you didn't take it.
Zach: Yeah, I did. I handed it in.
Teacher: You didn't take it. Spike Anderson did, and he made a lot better than you. He made a C and you made a 0.
Zach: But.. Spike's my friend! I was helping him with the test!
Teacher: So you're saying you let Spike cheat off of your test? Well, that's one zero for Spike and two for Zach..
Zach: But.. Spike's my imaginary friend! I also have Billy...
Teacher: I can't wait until you're in your 30s with kids, and you see some people from this class and they tell your kids you still had an imaginary friend in the 11th grade while the kids are running around under the tables picking their boogers or something.
28
people are stapling their arms while substitute teacher just sits there on computer
Tyler: Jalen's bleeding on the floor!
Teacher: Get that blood up.