42Save Me
Introduction
He was drunk again. She knew he was almost immediately after he opened their apartment door. She heard him stumbling around a bit and she closed her eyes, debating whether or not she should lock herself in the bathroom. She shook her head. It wasn't as if that would get her very far. He'd probably knock down the door anyway.
She heard him trip over something.
"Fuck! Val! W-what the fuck d-did I tell y-you about leaving y-your sh-shit around?" he shouted, struggling slightly to get out a few words.
She heard him crash into something else. Probably the counter.
"Shit!"
A tear slid down her face and she glanced towards the door of their bedroom as he stumbled through it. So much for locking myself in the bathroom...
"W-what the f-fuck Val?"
She tried to keep her facial expression calm, but she was pretty sure she was failing.
He grabbed the top of her shirt, lifted her up, and slammed her against the wall. Her head collided with the striped light blue wall paper, and she immediately felt pain wash over her.
"Y-you l-leave your sh-shit l-lying around even w-when I a-ask y-you to clean it up! D-do you f-fucking w-want me to kill myself?"
She swallowed and decided that it was probably best not to answer that question.
"Huh? I asked you a fucking question!" He hadn't stuttered during that sentence, which made him sound all the more terrifying.
"No," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
Suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders roughly and shoved her into the wall one last time. Hard. And when he let go, she slid down the wall, not even bothering to pick herself up and get the fuck out of there.
She watched him through teary eyes while he stumbled towards the bathroom. And then she heard him throwing up. She found that she was almost happy that he was throwing up. She wanted him to be in pain, just as he had caused her pain. The bastard deserved it.
She began full-on crying, and she covered her face in her hands. You're weak, Val. Fucking weak. Grow up. Crying does nothing.
She finally managed to stop and make her way towards the living room couch.
Just get through each day, she reminded herself as she lay down. She had gotten through this majorly fucked-up day; she could definitely get through whatever came her fucking way tomorrow.
"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?"
The question came from somewhere nearby, and I nearly had a heart-attack despite the voice being quiet and calm.
I turned around to find him leaning against the doorway of my bedroom. I turned away. I knew immediately that this would be bad.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Don't play this game with me, Val," he said simply. He didn't look angry, however. He just looked exhausted.
"What game?"
He didn't make a noise as he set both hands atop his head and leaned against the open door, just staring at me. The stare held no emotion, though. He was just staring. I turned away again, although I could still feel his eyes on me.
"Natalie said something was wrong and I didn't believe her," he said, still emotionless. But then the emotion came. "How could I be so fucking stupid? I just didn't want to see that Ben was hitting you, but I knew all along. I really did."
I scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Ridiculous?" he growled. "What the fuck do you call this, Val?" He pointed to my arms. "Most people in healthy relationships don't have bruises up and down their arms and all over their faces."
I felt my temper rising, and I was sure he sensed this, as my fists were clenched at my sides.
"Ben is not hitting me," I hissed.
"Don't you dare lie to me," he growled, pushing off of the door and moving towards me until he was staring down at me, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Oh, as if you haven't lied to me in the past!" I screamed up at him, tears threatening to spill. All of a sudden, I felt like my life was completely out of control. And it scared me. I had never felt that way before.
I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away. Away from that house. Away from that town. Away from those people.
I stood up and shoved past him, but didn't get very far. He roughly grabbed me by the elbow and spun me around. "Don't think that you're getting away from this."
"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?" I hissed. "Let go of me."
"Not until you promise me that you'll sit down on your bed and answer all my questions."
I felt so betrayed. He had cornered me, and he knew it.
I eventually managed to nod weakly in response to his comment, and he finally let go. There was no point in refusing to talk to him. I knew he wouldn't go away until I talked.
I sat down on my bed, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. He was pacing before me, his hands on top of his head once again.
The first question almost made me cry.
"How long has this been going on?"
Why was this happening to me? Why was he making a big deal out of a problem that wasn't much of a problem to begin with?
"Oh, you mean this non-existent crap that you keep on going on about?"
He stopped pacing to turn around to stare at me. Hard.
"Made up?" he said simply. "If it's made up then explain to me why you have these bruises." He took a hold of my arm gently and put some light pressure on some new bruises Ben had given me. But it hadn't been his fault. He was drunk and he had had a bad day at work. I winced when he applied slightly more pressure.
I pulled my arm away and shrugged. "I'm klutzy."
He groaned. "That's the problem, Val. You won't admit it. You're in denial."
"This is completely insane," I said softly.
"Val," he said quietly, standing before me with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes bore down into mine. "Ben is hitting you."
I scoffed. "Fucking insane, you understand me?" I practically shouted, standing up, so that I didn't feel so small. And then I took a deep breathe, calming myself down slightly. "Get out of my house," I said, softly at first. And then when he didn't comply, I screamed. "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!"
"There's no one home to hear you," he said softly.
"So what?" I hissed. "I don't need someone else to get you out of my house; I can do this on my own."
"Val-"
"Are you fucking deaf?"
He ignored me again. "Val, you need to calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down! You come into my house and tell me that my boyfriend of three years whom I love with all my heart is hitting me! Would you be fucking calm?"
"Lift up your shirt," he said simply.
My eyes widened. "What? Oh, because sex is really gonna calm me down right now! Great plan, Cole. You always have the best ideas. Do you have any other brilliant ideas which would help to ruin my life?"
"You mean save your life?"
"No, I mea-"
"Seriously, Val, lift up your shirt or I'll pin you against the wall and do it myself."
I almost blushed, but stopped myself just in time. I simply ended up narrowing my eyes. "You wouldn't."
"Wanna watch me?" He took a step towards me, and instinctively I took one backwards, running into the bed and falling onto my back. He stood over me, just staring down at me. "Lift up your shirt."
"What the hell is your fucking problem?"
"I wanna see all the damage he's done besides to your arms and your face," he said simply.
"Cole, get the hell away from me."
In the next two seconds he had my hands pinned to the bed with one of his own, and the other was resting atop my t-shirt covered stomach.
"You had your chance to do it yourself," he said as his warm hands pushed my shirt up to just under my bra. I thrashed around, but unsuccessfully managed to get him away from me. And it made everything worse that I liked the way his hands felt against my now bare stomach. "Oh God," he said breathlessly. "What has he done to you, Val? Your stomach..." He traced over my bruises with one of his fingers and that was when I realized I was crying.
Finally, he let go of me and just sat down beside me, stunned. I hurriedly pulled down my shirt and scooted away from him, deciding it was pointless at this point to try to get out seeing as his reflexes were much better than my own.
And then, I froze as I heard the apartment door opening. I forced myself to stop crying. I wiped my eyes until I could see again. I saw Cole standing before me, staring at me, his eyes full of sympathy. And it made me angry. I felt like screaming. But I couldn't.
"Val, get the fuck down here to help me with these fucking groceries!" Ben shouted angrily.
I swallowed and glanced at Cole.
"Please," I said quietly. "Pretend you're not here. Go to the closet. Just pretend you're not here. Please."
He shook his head, and before I could react he had shoved past me and was making his way towards the entrance of the apartment. Towards Ben.
"Cole! Please, no," I hissed. I had no choice but to follow him, and in less then thirty seconds he was standing in front of Ben.
Ben looked up at Cole, and then glanced at me. I swallowed and crossed my arms over my chest.
"How long has this been going on?" Cole demanded, looking like he wanted to murder Ben.
"What are you talking about, man?" Ben asked calmly. But I wasn't fooled. He was nervous and probably angry.
"Don't you dare fuck with me," Cole hissed. Before I could react, Cole had grabbed Ben's shirt and shoved him up against the coat closet. "How long have you been hitting her?"
Ben's eyes widened, as did mine.
"Cole," I said softly. "Let go of him."
"I said how fucking long have you been hitting her, you bastard?"
"Cole, please," I begged.
"What fucking lies did you tell him?" Ben shouted at me. Cole then proceeded to shove him against the wall once again, so that his head collided with the yellow wall-paper and made a loud crash.
"Don't you fucking talk to her," Cole hissed. "Don't even look at her."
"Get the hell off of me," Ben hissed in reply.
"How long?" Cole's face was bright red and his fists were clenched in anger. I started to cry again. I wanted to get out of there.
Ben turned his head slightly to look at me. Mistake.
"Don't look at her!"
"What the hell did you tell him?" Ben shouted again.
"N-nothing," I stammered in reply, tears streaming down my face. I really didn't want to look in a mirror anytime soon. My face was probably black by now from all the mascara that had run down my cheeks.
"That's right, ass hole, she didn't have to say anything. It's pretty obvious seeing as she comes to class with bruises all over her fucking face. No amount of make-up can hide what you do to her. So tell me, does it make you feel better about yourself to push her around? Does it make you feel like a real man? Does it make you feel stronger?"
"I haven't touched her," he finally said after there was a deafening silence.
That was sort of the last straw for Cole, who punched Ben. Three times, actually. I knew it was three even though I was looking away because there were loud cracking noises each time Cole's fist collided with Ben's face. When I finally looked up, I saw Cole was shaking his right fist around a bit since it had probably been pretty damn painful for him, and Ben's face was bloody and disgusting. I could barely make out his nose. I was half convinced that Cole had actually managed to somehow remove Ben's nose. Ben just sort of stood there looking really stunned. Cole had let go of him and was just standing before him breathing heavily. Then Cole pointed towards the door of the apartment Ben and I shared.
"Get out." Ben didn't move. "Get the fuck out!"
Ben finally grabbed his coat from the closet and then began unlocking the apartment door. When his hand was on the door handle, Cole spoke once more.
"You are never to return to this apartment and you are never to speak to Valerie again. Am I understood?"
Ben didn't reply, and the last time I saw him was when he was leaving the apartment. Our apartment. All his stuff was still in the apartment, but he just left.
We just stood there for about ten minutes in silence, Cole breathing heavily and me just crying softly.
Finally, Cole spoke. "He's gone. You don't have to be afraid anymore. He's never going to hurt you ever again."
This made me cry harder because I had tried so hard to hide what was happening between Ben and me. And everyone had somehow known? I had tried so hard to pretend it wasn't real, but this confirmed that it was indeed reality.
"Val." His hand was on my face. I sort of flinched and backed away.
"I need to be alone right now," I said softly.
"No," he replied instantly. "You've been alone for long enough. I'm staying."
It only then struck me just how alone I'd been. Sure, I'd had friends like Cole and my best friend Natalie, but we never discussed this. Mainly because I didn't think they knew and there was no way I was telling them. So I'd just had Ben, who was certainly no friend. He was the enemy; the person who had ruined me.
Honestly, I pitied Ben more than I pitied myself. He had been abused by his father as a child, and it wasn't entirely his fault that he hit me. It was just how he was raised...
When Cole wrapped his arms tightly around me, it just made me cry harder. It felt so good to be held and it made me realize how lonely I had been for the past few years.
I just cried into his chest for god-knows how long, and then he finally let go.
He held me at arms-length, and with his thumb wiped away my falling tears.
"Why don't we talk about everything?" he suggested.
"I don't really wanna talk," I said honestly, relieved that the tears had stopped.
"I know Val, but you should just get all this shit off your chest."
I nodded. He was sort of right. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me to my bedroom. And it was now actually my bedroom. Not Ben and my bedroom. Just mine. All mine.
I sat down on the bed, feeling weak all of a sudden. He grabbed the chair I kept by the desk Ben and I had shared, and he pulled it in front of me and sat down.
"So talk to me about all of this...Are you relieved?"
I shrugged. "Yeah...but what if he comes back?"
"We're getting the locks changed."
"But couldn't he, like, kick down the door or something?"
Cole sighed. "I really don't think he's coming back, Val. I seriously deformed his face. If he ever wants a sort of normal-looking nose he's gonna have to get some major plastic surgery done."
"So? If he really wanted to kill me I don't think he'd particularly care about whether or not his nose was normal looking."
"Val," Cole reached out and took my face in his hands. It felt good and I wished it didn't. "He's never going to kill you."
"He's threatened to."
Cole bit down on his lip slightly. "Why didn't you say anything? Did you think that Nat and I wouldn't care?"
I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I was scared."
"Scared of what?" he asked gently.
I swallowed. "Ben said that if I told anyone he'd kill me."
"Oh...Val..."
Cole had wrapped his arms around me again and once again, it felt good but I wished it didn't. Cole probably didn't like me that way, anyway. And besides, I was probably just desperate to be held after this whole thing.
"But he could come back," I said softly once Cole had pulled away.
"Well, we're gonna tell the police about him..."
"But what if I'm, like, sleeping and he manages to open the door quietly, or even loudly, and then he comes into my room and he-"
"Val, shh..."
"Would you move in with me?"
The question even surprised me. Probably even more then it surprised him.
I covered my mouth. "I mean, I just-"
"Would that make you feel better?" he asked.
"Well, I, just..."
"Answer the question, Val."
I sighed. "Yeah...A little bit. But you really don't-"
"Then I'll move in. It's not a big deal, okay? You've been through more shit then I could ever imagine. I'm gonna be here for you, okay? Me and Nat both."
"Thank you," I said softly, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. And it was Cole. Since when was I self-conscious around Cole?
"Val, it's no problem. You'd do the same thing if I were in this position."
I had to laugh at that. "If your girlfriend was beating you?"
He rolled his eyes. "Hey, it could happen."
"Cole, you're like...huge..."
"Umm...I'll take that as a compliment, and what if I had an Olympic weight-lifter as a girlfriend?"
"Alright, fine...But if you had an Olympic weight-lifter as a girlfriend then do you think I'd be able to beat the shit out of her like you just beat the shit out of Ben?"
"True...Good point...Well, my point was basically that you'd manage to get my abusive Olympic weight-lifting girlfriend to get the fuck away from me."
"Somehow, I suppose."
"See?"
I sighed. "But I really mean it, Cole. Thank you...Thank you so much. If you hadn't done this for me I...I don't know where I'd be in a year from now...Possibly dead."
"But everything's okay now. You're safe, and by tonight you'll have a 6 foot one black-belt living with you."
I managed a smile. "Thanks for that too."
"My pleasure."
3 Months Later
To my dismay, Cole had moved out once we had both realized that Ben was not coming back. Ever. I didn't want Cole to know that I felt so safe and comfortable having him in the apartment, so I had suggested that he leave after two months. I had been happier when he was living with me then I could ever remember being. We'd stay up late, watch stupid scary movies, eat more calories then the average American ate on Thanksgiving, and just laugh. We laughed a lot.
I was only thinking about this so much because I had gone to the park. There was one bench I sat at in the park that I always went to to get my thoughts straight. And here I was, in the cold December weather just thinking about everything that had happened.
I had gotten a therapist and the depression that I had been suffering from while I was with Ben had completely gone away. I had made new friends and my relationship with Nat had become much stronger, even though I had thought it was strong to begin with. And Cole…Cole was complicated…
"Nat said I'd find you here," a voice interrupted me.
Speak of the Devil…
I looked up to find Cole standing before me, looking gorgeous as ever. He sat down beside me and I scooted over a bit even though there was already plenty of room for him to sit down.
"I have something to tell you," he blurted out.
I turned sideways to look at him, slightly surprised. "It was so important that you couldn't wait 'till tomorrow? Aren't we still going out to lunch? Or are you canceling on me?"
He shook his head. "Naw, I'm not canceling on you."
Good.
"Then what is it?"
"I just…well…I wanted to tell you something about the whole living together thing."
"…Yeah? What about it?"
"Well, I liked it. No, I loved it."
I couldn't help but grin. "Me too."
"It was fun."
"Yeah."
"It was fun because I love you."
I swear to God, I almost fell off the park bench.
"W-wow…"
"I know you probably don't feel the same way, but-" He paused to glance at me.
I looked up to discover it had just begun to snow. Then I turned towards him.
"I love you too."
"Oh."
"You saved me and I never really got to thank you for it."
"You saved me, too."
"Kiss me," I said softly.
He grinned. "If you insist."
Authors Note: I know, SOOOOO stupid and SOOOOO bad…But I was bored and it was 1 AM and I needed something to do. Plus, I've always wanted to try writing a one-shot and I figured this was a good opportunity. I have a feeling that I'm probably better at longer fiction, but just let me know your honest opinions. Just tell me what was good about it and what totally sucked so maybe I can try another one sometime when I'm bored again and make it much better. Okay, bye ya'll.