5To any of you who have read this already, it's the same just slightly edited (mainly I just gave one of the characters a name because reading back it was sort of confusing otherwise). I wrote another one shot type of thing today (posted as chapter 2) and decided to put it here instead of in a new document. Hopefully you'll read that one too.
"Why do you love me?"
The boy above him took his time answering, focusing his deep gray eyes intently on Eli's face while he seemed to contemplate his answer.
Early morning light crept its way past the thin curtains and into the room, lighting it with a hopeful sort of glow that spoke of fresh beginnings and unbroken promises. Days always unraveled that way it seemed, shining with so much hope but quickly morphing into the monotonous tragedy that was human existence. There was no other time quite like dawn; it held an ethereal, untouchable quality that couldn't be reproduced.
"I have no choice," the boy finally answered, seriously. A long, elegant finger traced its way down the younger boy's face, tracking his cheekbone down to his full, supple mouth. "I knew from the first time I laid eyes on you that you were it. You pulled me in with those crazy eyes of yours and when I looked away, I felt empty."
His hand continued its path down until it reached Eli's chest. Fingers slid across smooth skin finding the hypersensitive spots with incredible accuracy. Ragged breaths filled the small room.
"Nobody controls me like you do," the older boy continued, "You can tear me up and spit me out and I'll beg for more. I can't help it." Lips met skin, travelling in the wake of creative fingers. "I don't know why I love you; I just know that I do. More than anything I've ever loved before. And I know-" teeth clamped down on a rosy nipple and the boy below him sucked in a sharp gasp of air, "that I wouldn't be able to stop, even if I wanted to."
Below him, Eli gasped for air, fumbling for a sensible, coherent train of thought. He knew that the boy loved him but he'd never before expressed it in such a serious way, it made his mind spin.
Loneliness had been such a large part of his life, he'd believed for so long that he was incapable of receiving love. Tears spilled softly down his pale cheeks as the older boy continued to bite and lick his way down his small body.
For so long he had craved the kind of love he was now experiencing, but with the elation also came doubt. He was nothing more than a fuck-up and that's what he'd do inevitably, fuck this all up and hurt the boy above him who loved him so intensely. It was the only thing he knew how to do.
"I love you too," Eli said, trying to push his thoughts away into the recesses of his mind. The broken whisper caught the boy's attention and he pulled himself up, only to see the crushed, vulnerability dancing behind Eli's waterlogged green eyes.
"Shit," he murmured, stroking away tears with the pads of his thumbs, the gesture so gentle and loving it broke the younger boy's heart just a little bit more. "You're so beautiful," the boy whispered lovingly, even as more tears spilled down Eli's cheeks. "So beautiful."
"S-stop."
The younger boy's voice came out shaken but powerful and the boy ceased his movements, his hands remaining on Eli's face though, shocked and subdued.
"You're too perfect," he whispered, "I don't deserve you."
He tried to pull into himself and out of the other's grasp but the older boy kept a firm hold on his face, his body straddling Eli's, leaving no room for movement. "Don't say that," gray eyes hardened, "Don't ever say that, don't ever deny yourself something because you feel you don't deserve it." Tears continued to slip down the boy's cheeks, the pace increasing as those gray eyes, also filling with tears, bored into his. "That's crap and you know it. You deserve more than anybody could ever give you."
A broken sob escaped from the boy's throat and he tried again to curl into himself.
"If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me. Your life is precious, you are precious and you mean the fucking world to me."
Eli nodded jerkily and the older boy leaned his head down until their foreheads touched.
"Promise?" The boy stared up at him with his big, wet green eyes flecked gorgeously with gold and the older boy could see he wanted to. See that he wanted more than anything to believe him, to let him love him. "Please Eli…"
"Okay," the younger boy finally said his voice low and hoarse, "I promise."
"Thank you," the boy whispered almost inaudibly against his head before moving and capturing his lips in a needy, passionate kiss.
All talking ceased as the two explored one another with teeth and tongue, hands and eyes. It was a different kind of conversation, led by skin and friction but no less important. It confirmed the love the two committed to one another, completed them in a way nothing else could. And showed to the older boy that Eli had finally given himself completely to him, surrendered himself to what the other might be able to bring him, finally jumped. And it made his chest ache in happiness.