"That will be $340… I know I said it would only be twenty dollars per session, but I counted seventeen distinct personalities. Each of you owes me twenty dollars."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I'm also a travel agent, did you know? I want to recommend this really nice hotel with padded white walls and – no? Not interested? It wasn't a choice."
"This won't work unless you talk to me instead of those other voices. I can't hear them, you know."
"How does that make you feel? No, I don't really care. But everyone thinks I'm supposed to say that because I'm a psychiatrist. Damn stereotypical Disney movies."
"You're like one of those mystery bags my kindergarten teacher had, you know? I never know which of your personalities will walk through my door. It's one of those little surprises that brightens my day."
"You should sell your unwanted alter egos on eBay. You'll end up richer than the site itself."
"Have you ever considered the possibility that you might not think about the world the same way everyone else does? Oh, right, it doesn't matter. You don't live in everyone else's world anyway. You've got your special place."
"How does that – you know what? I won't pretend I care… what do you mean, you thought that was my job?"
"I'm more into the "touchy" side of these "touchy-feely matters," so if you could quickly make yourself comfortable on the couch…"
"Your Zoloft seems to be working… Oh. I see. You're using that other kind of happy pill. I really should report that."
"Your wife left you, your house burned down, your children are drug addicts, the voices are angry with you, your dog got run over by a semi yet visits you in the middle of the night in a demon form – that is a lot to deal with. Perhaps you should begin by writing a country song."
A/N: How did this make you feel? Like you want to submit a review? No? Alright, I'll adjust your dosage.