"Spending time alone together means opening up
I liked those possibilities.

I'm angry at how her protectiveness involved hostility-
she has NO IDEA
what I've been through in this, before this.

And everything I thought "could have been" sometime soon
the splinters hurt me

The truth of the near future looked so clear
in that five minutes,
I could jump in and start swimming

"I'm messed up. We can't do this anymore"

Now it feels more like I was 3, and
the pain like suffocating

Facing what "it will be" sometime soon,
too soon.
In fact, now. My way of life is going to transform.

Carry my heart, God.
This wretch
Has no other way but to crawl blinded by tears.