The minutes keep on

Slipping by so silently.

The darkness is thick;

I cannot see a thing.

The silence is screaming

In my ears, so deafeningly.

I'm so lost in a place that I know.

My mind is whirling and I can't concentrate.

The world is a blur,

Moving so quickly.

I get so dizzy in this place in my mind,

But nothing stops moving,

And I can't keep up.

I'm falling behind,

And I can't catch up.

Somehow, this time,

I see no light.

This time I see no escape.

It's for real now, isn't it?

No more happy endings.

The tears come to my eyes sometimes,

And I don't even know why.

I just cry and cry,

Like I've never cried before.

So many times I've tried

To stop this insanity,

But so far all I've tried fails.

I can't stop shaking,

Like I'm having a seizure,

I get these headaches

That crack my head open.

It's all because of you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

So many times I've tried

To reinvent myself,

To be stronger and happier,

To be more like you.

But so far all I've tried fails.

And the teardrops slide

Soundlessly down my cheek,

Silently hitting the floor,

And I take another breath,

And I keep on living,

Living for you.

Ryan… see what you've done to me?

See what you've done to everyone?

See how much we love and miss you?

Rest In Peace – January 27th 1990 – November 25th, 2007