Faithless Fidelity

Breathlessly I wait;
nervous anticipation
baiting my breath;
hiding my restless,
wandering spirit
from the one whose heart
I do not deserve.

Moments drag
their ungainly feet
as the beat of my blood
trips over itself.

Externally composed;
inwardly screeching, crying
for a secret pleasure
that you did not know
you inflict.

Hopelessly
I wander
through
the winding ways
of what might have been.
Knowing what I know
it would have;
but it cannot be now.

Be still,
o faithless heart.
Beat not
the tattoo
of an
unquenchable fever.
Let me know the peace
I long for
but fight against.