That night

That night

So cold and so dark

Lingers on my heart

on my mind

in my eyes

My mistake

My heart once jumped

at the sight of your face

Now all I can think of

is my own disgrace

I cared

I feel so ashamed

so used and so cheap

I don't know how to fix me

Or how to escape

I talk, I pray, I hope and I say

wanting it to go away

Now I write

This sad little rhyme

You hurt me

Just so you wouldn't feel alone.


Alone is when the tears threaten to fall

When my mind screams so loud

I can barely hear the phone

And when I know

I know


Nothing can bring back the trust

the adoration

the happiness

That I once felt.

I only feel the pressure

of your chest against mine

And my hands pushing against your heart

and hear my voice saying 'stop'.

And though you did

I can never go back.

I am scared

Scared of you

Scared of me

I call on You

I lament to You

You and You alone.

Why do You not save me?

Hold me close and push him away?


Why this?

Why now?

Is this a punishment

for stepping into a fire of temptation?

Can You hold me again?

Ever look at me with love again?

I wait.

And I wonder

as I try to escape that night.