I slam on the breaks just in time, and listen to my tires squeel to a halt. As I start laughing maniacally, I hear the guy next to me shout out. "Hey watch it, you dumb bitch!" His little outburst only helped my laughing continue for the next thirty minutes.

This wasn't something I used to do all the time, but now I can't help but do it every chance I get. You see, I get these violent urges to slam my car into anything now. Sometimes it's a concrete barrier, sometimes it's another car. And the fact that harm would come to myself or others doesn't really bother me. In fact I find it kind of funny.

It's just one of those things, really. You drive for so long, and just kind of space out. Then you see brake lights, and you wonder to yourself, "Do I really want to stop? Do I really care if I slam into that old geezer in front of me? He's just going to die eventually, so what's the problem? My car is a piece of shit anyway." Then, even though you say to yourself "No, I don't really give a flying fuck" you still manage to put your foot on the brake.

That's probably the most disappointing thing about life. There's bad sex, and then there's slamming your foot on the brake right as your conscious comes popping out of some little fart bubble. See? Disappointing.

Ah sex. Another one of life's little "fuck you" jokes. Sure, they are hilarious at times, but when I'm trying to get some, it isn't too funny. And you're probably thinking, "Who would want to fuck this crazy bitch? She wants to ram her car into shit." Let me tell you something, you fucking prick. I am not easy, by all means. I'm not some slut you can just pass by on the street, or in some book store, and expect to get me in the sack with a few corny pickup lines. I have standards and expectations! Men seem to be the ones who don't have standards. They simply want something to stick their dick in. Women have known this all along. If sex didn't feel so goddamn good, we wouldn't do it as much. That's common sense. Even a prepubescent boy could tell you that.

Note: Still in Progress.