Kaylee watched as Samson left, staring out the window long after his departure. She could still feel his gentle touches, her emotions out of control and she only wanted an escape. She retreated into her dreams though they were short and fleeting. At least her dreams were peaceful, sadly they were the only part of her life that was.
The next morning came too quickly Kaylee barely able to drag herself out of bed. She felt so tired as she went through her daily morning routine, knowing that another day had passed and she had done nothing. Kaylee was not truly sure of what she could do, at first she had entertained thoughts of running away. Going somewhere and just escaping him, the more she thought of that plan though the more she realized it would be impossible.
If she did manage to get away, it would only be for a few days. And the nights of course would be torture, curled up somewhere praying for daylight. Between life with him and a life living in fear, she would gladly go with Sebastian.
The day passed slowly, Kaylee taking notice of her self-imposed isolation even more. Even though hundreds of people surrounded her, she felt so alone. High school beginning to be rather depressing, she worked hard in her classes and aced a test, something her parents would be proud of. Kaylee had the small notion that she was letting life pass her by and there was nothing she could do to stop it. All she could do was watch the sands of time slip through her fingers.
She never liked feeling helpless it had a rather angering effect on her. She was through half the day now, Chemistry and Calculus out of the way with only lunch left, and then she could go home to celebrate her last Christmas holiday with her family. She had tried her best this year, knowing that this year was the last. She wanted everything to be perfect, trying her hardest to not argue with her parents and simply love them. Knowing in a few weeks, she would never see them again.
Sometimes she was not certain if she truly hated Sebastian until times like these arrived. She wondered if he had simply not told her that there was a time limit on her life. That maybe she could have enjoyed it, instead of dwelling on what little time she had left, rather than simply living for the moment. A part of her wished he had kept it a secret. The majority of her wanted the honesty; she did not want him to hide from her. He already hid so much; at least he could be honest with her.
After school, she went home; her parents still at work and would be for a few hours. Until they came home, she would reside in her room, practicing the piano to improve the new piece she had received a few days ago. Nothing special occurred during those hours that she was alone in her house. Her mother arrived at the house just as the sun started to make it's descent. Kaylee feeling restless left her room to see what her mother was going to make for supper and how she could possibly help.
"What time is Dad getting home?" She asked her mother while they exchanged a brief hug.
"Another hour or so, probably a little later since traffic is so hectic, do you mind peeling the potatoes for me?" Gracie asked her daughter as she started to walk into her room pulling off her shoes and getting into some more comfortable clothes.
"Sure" Kaylee said with a nod of her head getting out the needed supplies and then proceeded to help her mother with dinner. Now that it was December, she felt the need to spend more time with her family. Quite different from her usual reclusive self, nevertheless her mother and father came to enjoy it. Her parents feeling relief when Kaylee began to take a more active role in the family.
"So how was school today, did your math test go well?" Her mother asked as she went back into the kitchen and began to prepare their meal. She placed a pot of water on the stove to boil for the potatoes then got out the hamburger meat.
"It was all right, I actually aced it." She said with a small smile and nodded when her mother praised her for her great accomplishment. They continued to speak to each other, an easygoing conversation that actually made Kaylee feel better.
When supper was nearly on the table, her father came home, all the signs of familial bliss shining within the household. With great sadness, Caely knew her days were numbered and that soon she would be leaving this place forever. The finality that always seemed to grip her was at times hard to handle. Wishing that she could simply forget what was to happen to her. It always dwelled within her though, always in the back of her mind. Constantly nagging and reminding her that the hourglass was slowly emptying and time was running out.
The days passed with ease, the first night easier to bear since Sebastian had said he would see her in a few nights. When Sunday night passed, she knew it was likely he would come. Christmas was three days away, with her birthday being January 1 she felt time's constriction even more. She had dwelled upon during the day and even now she thought of it. It was constantly on her mind coming more apparent to her as the days passed.
She actually felt relief when he came through her window, earlier than usual. His pale features smooth and unbothered, facial expression neutral like nothing would bother him tonight. "Good evening dear," he said softly, with a certain ring of formality to his voice. He was cautious this night, not wanting to upset her anymore. He hoped for a calm evening that would help instead of hurt her.
"Good evening," she whispered back, instead of anger he was faced with the beginnings of despair. The woman going through so many emotions it could make any man dizzy. She felt odd this night trying to figure out her own emotions starting to tire of her own anger and frustration.
"I hope all is well," he said softly after the silence had grown too thick for his own liking. Her response was a nod and inwardly he sighed. She was sitting upon her bed again, looking small and helpless. Knowing this was his punishment for denying her more time, enough was enough though. If he simply continued to yield to her then he would never have her. At some point he had to be firm so that he could carry on his life and she could carry on her own with him.
She watched him silently, seeing him go through his routine. First he would stare at her and watch her for a while, then he would turn and look through her things to see what she had been up to since the last time he saw her. "Your now out of school?" He questioned softly, seeing none of her familiar work stretched upon the desk, nor did he see the purple backpack that she had carried with her for so long.
"Yes Thursday was the last day," she answered with empty civility. Watching him move over to the other side of the room and touch the photo album which he now opened. A soft smile on his face as he saw the innocent girl smiling up at him with a few of her teeth missing. He moved over and sat down starting to look through her pictures. Seeing the changes in her appearance and the different shades her eyes and hair went through.
"How do you feel tonight?" He asked, though he was certain of the answer he wanted to continue the conversation. Lifting his head up and staring into her eyes seeing the wary look she gave him.
"A little better…about the other night…" She trailed off not certain what she should say. He silenced her with a shake of his head, "We do not have to speak of it, we both said things we should not have said to one another." He said softly, wishing he could erase her sadness. He thought that if they did not speak of what had happened then it would be better. He had regretted treating her harshly but some nights she truly wore down his control.
"I think we do need to speak about it, some of the things I said I still believe." She said her voice sounding more firm. Staring into his eyes, she watched for some hint of emotion but nothing was there. She always found the times that he did show emotion special. Though she would not go as far to say that she looked forward to them. Her feelings were still quite mixed about that changing from like to dislike in a moments notice.
He nodded, though his mind had already been made. She could talk if it made her feel better, he would not change what he had decided. It was time to continue on with their lives, starting to see that the longer he allowed her to keep her humanity the worse off they were. "Then speak if it will make you feel better." He said after a long silence.
"You don't have to make everything a demand Sebastian." She said her tone level but her eyes shining with just the smallest tinge of anger. "I think we should talk about my options…about…you know…when you are going to take…me away." She said her voice soft and a little uncertain as she started to tread into dangerous waters.
He ignored her first comment and focused on the second, wishing that they could have just one peaceful night together. They always ended up on this subject and he was beginning to loath it. "We decided upon the night of January first, your birthday." He reminded, keeping his tone calm and his voice gentle.
"I know," she said softly, her voice slightly stressed. She fidgeted on the bed and then stood up starting to pace, avoiding his gaze as it followed her steadily around the room. "I wish you could wait…just a day…or month…or anything. I just wish you would wait." She whispered softly.
"I have waited, longer than I should have ever waited. It was compassion that drove me to allow you to keep your life the way it was for two years. You promised me that you would be ready, but here we are eight days away and you are still trying to run from me. I am getting tired of this discussion Kaylee, we have it every night, you should know now that the answer will always be the same."
"You grow tired of it?" She said softly turning and looking into his eyes. "It is constantly on my mind, every night and day, I haven't had a peaceful night's rest in so long. I look around and every day I see something I will miss or something that I have already given up because of this. You are tired of it? You have no idea what it feels like to feel trapped and no matter what you do you can't change it. Sometimes I hate you for this, for telling me your plans. I hate you for your honesty and for your damned willpower. I hate it," she said tears in her eyes looking away as she rubbed her hands across her cheeks to wipe away the evidence of her sadness. She was angry once more but with her confession came a certain relief
A long silence stretched between them, the man standing and watching as she wept. Digesting her words and thinking of what he should do next to some how alleviate her pain. "What are you so frightened of?" He finally asked softly going over and sitting on her computer chair.
"I…" at first she started to say that she was not frightened. Now that she thought of it though…she realized that she truly was. "I don't really know," she said softly, taking a seat on the bed now and wiping away her tears. "I don't know you," she finally said softly. It sounded weak to her but it was all she could think of and she knew it would not do as an explanation.
"I have come more often to talk with you, so that you might grow familiar with me. I know I am not an easy man to live with, or the greatest man either, I can promise some things though. I will not hurt you and I will keep you safe dear heart." He said softly, even though his words were so beautiful he still stayed away from her. Gave her the space he thought she wanted. Truthfully what lay inside his own heart was fear as well, the more they talked the more unsure he felt where his actions were concerned.
"Yes you talk with me…but it's not really you. You never show any emotion…except when you are mad." She said with a little shake of her head and a sad smile. "The only time you ever showed anything other then anger was when we first met and you actually talked to me." She reminded him sadly, wishing that they were not on this subject but it was too late now.
"That is not true," he said easily with a shake of his head. "I show emotion and I discuss many topics with you. I ask you about your studies and what you did during the day, and the pieces of music that you work on…I talk to you. You always turn the topic over to unpleasant things. I understand that a woman likes to dwell on things but enough is enough Rose." He said feeling his frustration, not just the frustration he felt now but the years of it that he had gone through while courting her.
"It's all I can think about, and don't call me Rose. I told you that, again and again. My name is Kaylee damn it." She said giving in to her own frustration. "And I can tell your frustrated but at least I can let my own feelings show." She said her voice full of contempt.
He stood when she cursed not approving of her language. "Do not curse Kaylee and it is fine for you to express your emotion. I encourage it," he started to say.
"I'm not asking for your permission Sebastian," she interrupted liking her anger more than her despair. She felt better with it holding onto it and kept it held tightly to herself. Not wanting to let go of her feelings wanting to fight him.
"Kaylee this is getting ridiculous and I grow tired of your childish behavior. You are a woman now and you should act appropriately," he said his voice taking on that paternal tone once more.
"Do not talk down to me, I am not a child." She said her voice calm, but it still held all of her anger with a vengeance.
"When you stop behaving like one then I will." He said crossing his arms across his broad chest, dark eyes staring down into her blue eyes. Seeing all of her emotions swirling in those beautiful eyes. He sighed softly, such a human gesture as he shook his head and looked back to her. She stood now her long hair gently curving falling just a few inches below her shoulders. He stared into his eyes and wished he could take away all of her pain, but knew it was not possible. There was no way to cushion this blow, it was simply something he had to do.
She looked away from him and focused on the night beyond her window. She did not wish to argue with him anymore, she did not want to fight with him, she thought she wanted him to leave. That was not it either, stuck between wanting peace and not wanting to be left alone. He was the only one who knew what she was going through. She could tell no one else of this, no one would believe her and she would only end up in some nut house.
"I need some fresh air," she finally said softly.
"It is rather late," he commented softly, looking into her eyes when she turned.
"I want to go outside, whether you come or not is up to you." She said softly, with a firm resolve in her voice. Showcasing a bit of bravado, trying to show him that he was not going to control her. She stood and started to change putting on jeans underneath the lilac night gown she wore turning her back as she changed in front of him. Slipping on her bra along with a comfy long-sleeved shirt and pulling on a jacket after that. Ignoring him, just like he chose to ignore her when he came in her room. She ran a brush through her hair before securing it back and placing a cap on her head. "I'll see you downstairs if you'd rather crawl out of my window again. Or you can go down the stairs like a normal human being." She said cheekily turning to go out the door.
He watched her, opening his mouth to begin to reprimand her. He then stopped, his skill of speech stolen from him for a moment as he stared at the beauty before him. He could only see her back, beautifully curved ending abruptly in jeans that were improper for her. He would make sure to buy dresses for her and everything that would suit a young woman, his love. His eyes narrowed when she was so disrespectful with him. That certainly would not due, he moved forward using his skill that he rarely showed her. Always taking care not to scare her more than necessary.
She gasped when he caught her wrist, one moment he had been sitting a long way away from her and now he was here his hand shackling her wrist. She stared up into his eyes and felt fear grip her, she jerked at his grip. Knowing that she would not be able to break free, his grip did not tighten nor did it relax. She looked up into his black eyes, his dark brown hair out of his eyes for once. Slicked back and away from his face leaving the contours of his face sharp and no longer hidden. She looked away from him as he stepped closer, feeling intimidated and wishing she had not played with him.
"Kaylee," he said her name in a soft tone, one that she could not ignore. He released her hand resting his two large hands on her shoulders and rubbing tenderly. Giving her a soft touch rather than hurting her, never wanting to hurt her. Though if she kept pressing his buttons forcing him to play the part of the parent with a disobedient child then he would. She wanted equality, a concept he did not fully grasp, and her behavior was certainly not helping him to understand.
The silence between them stretched, longer and longer, working it's way through as Sebastian reigned in his temper and kept it controlled once more. "Zip up your jacket, it is a very cold night." He said softly before turning and opening the door and letting her lead him out.
She was so quiet, her face paling when he grabbed her. He had proved his strength and that he was serious when he said he was growing tired of her actions. She had obeyed without a word, zipping her coat up and walking out of the room and hurrying down the stairs. Trying to be silent, but she knew her parents were deep sleepers so there was no reason for her caution only paranoia drove her to sneak around her own house. A marching band could pass by the house and they would not wake until morning.
Despite her hurried attempt to get out of the house he took his time. He found it odd after all the years he had known her that he had never seen the rest of her house. Down the stairs were family portraits more pictures of the woman he loved. At the top of the stairs was the most recent but as he went down the pictures changed and showed how her family had grown. He wondered why they had never had more children, when he had been alive couples had tried for as many children as possible. He thought for a moment, how this would effect her parents.
To lose their only child would undoubtedly be a very hard situation to deal with. He shook the thoughts from his mind reaching the end of the stairs. He turned for a moment seeing into the dining room and beyond that the small kitchen.
He walked into the dining room seeing the clean dark table with the chairs neatly tucked in. The china cabinet with a rose themed set of dishes and glasses set within. He stared at the cabinet's contents for a while before turning. Where the wall met the ceiling there was a mixture of ivy and rose template that ran through the dining room and into the kitchen. The cabinets were brown with gold handles. He turned away from the decoration and focused what was on the refrigerator. Drawings that Kaylee had made when she was still a young girl littered the top half along with a splash of colorful magnets from various places they had visiting during family vacations.
He heard her behind him, his hand on one of the crayon drawing finding, a soft smile tugging on his lips before he turned and looked to her. "You drew a lot when you were younger, why did you stop?" He asked moving slightly to the left and walking past her to continue the investigation of the house. Seeing more pictures in the darkness of the living room. More family pictures but no longer were they in their Sunday best. These were pictures of Kaylee perched on the lap of Santa Clause and other Christmas times. Family gatherings and pictures of a Kaylee with a bright smile as she tore at the paper of her gifts.
He looked to the left seeing the Christmas tree and walked towards it, even here there were small pictures in a few ornaments of Kaylee as a baby and then when she was around six or seven years old. He touched one shining red ball, his appearance reflected with a red hue. Quickly catching it when it started to fall and placing it back on its own limb. He then took a step back and admired the star perched on top.
She had watched him at first wanting to demand he left her house and that they get out of here. He was doing nothing harmful though, just walking from room to room, viewing her life through pictures. Feeling rather uncomfortable when he asked that question and even more so when he went into the living room and started to look at the Christmas decorations.
"I just did not want to after a while, there was no real reason, just grew out of it." She said softly, her voice so close to being conversational. For once it was not so guarded, she liked seeing him this way. He was no longer acting detached, she felt like he was here now and that they were actually talking. Though he was still his curious self, always investigating and looking at everything in the room.
"There are so many pictures of you, they are everywhere in this house." He said softly going on and looking at the fireplace ledge seeing more pictures of her. He found pictures so interesting especially how they had changed over the last few centuries. Now it took less than a second to make a color photo something he found amazing.
"My father is a photographer and as you can see he really likes taking pictures of his family." She said with a fond smile following his eyes as he stared at the shelf above the fire place. Since it was late there was no fire burning but there had been, her family had enjoyed warm cocoa and popcorn in front of a bright fire before her mother and father retreated to bed. It was a wonderful memory something she would cherish when she was all alone in her new life.
He nodded and turned back to her, seeing the smile she wore when she spoke of her father. He felt something near longing, though his expression never changed. Carefully hiding behind his own mask wanting to keep a distance from her. "Do you still wish to go outside, we only have another hour before I must leave you. I would feel better if you were inside and tucked safely in your bed before I left." He said softly, his tone gentle. Trying not to command her but letting his wishes made plain.
She nodded, "I do, and okay…" she said softly feeling a little uncomfortable. Gently hugging her arms to her body, "I just want to go outside for a little while." She said softly and then started to move towards the door. The cool night air was a sharp slap in the face when she opened the door.
Her cheeks turning rosy when she pressed on and went out into the open. They had received three inches of snow recently though the sidewalk and driveway had been swept clear, the snow still clung to their lawn with a few trails of footprints leading to the mailbox and to the car. She walked out and went for the snow, turning and startled when she saw him beside her.
"I did not hear you coming," she said to explain her startled expression. He gave a simple knowing smile and then placed his hand at her back and began to walk with her. Guiding her gently down the street so that they could walk together.
"Why are you an only child?" He asked after another long pause, though the silence was a comfortable one. He actually preferred to talk with her right now, especially since she seemed to be in a rather civil mood.
She looked to him when he asked that personal question, at first a little uncomfortable with his arm around her. Now he was asking her more things about herself. "I'm not really sure, I never really asked. I think they are scared, they nearly lost me and my mom when I born. So they just did not try again, it has always been a touchy subject with them." She said softly trying to gather some clues. As far as she could tell that was the reason, at first it had hurt to think she would never have a brother or sister but she later understood that her mother's safety was more important then having a friend.
He nodded and continued to walk with her, letting the silence fall. "I always wanted siblings though, I always felt rather alone. Did you have any brothers or sisters?" She asked softly giving him a sideways glance as they continued forward. Finding his company rather enjoyable when he actually talked to her.
He nodded, "I had five brothers and four sisters." he said smiling at her shocked expression. "Your mother had ten children?" She said her voice matching the expression. She had wanted one maybe two siblings, she could never imagine having nine other brothers and sisters running around.
"Yes though four of them were twins, my mother had twins in her family, even she was a twin." He said, finding himself easily giving up information to her and not minding it at all.
"Oh, were you the oldest?" Caely asked, easily seeing him as the paternal brother looking over the rest of his brothers and sisters.
"No I was the seventh child," he said with a small shake of his head.
"Then were do you get it from?" She asked with a small smile on her face, turning down another street, obviously leading him around the neighborhood during their early morning stroll.
"Where do I get what from?" He questioned his eyebrows arching in slight puzzlement.
"Well…you're very paternal." She said softly, she could have said many other harsher words. At that moment though she had actually wanted to be nice. She had not wanted to ruin their peaceful walk together.
"Oh," he said softly and for a moment she wondered if she had hurt his feelings. Looking up to him she could not tell, never could she tell with him. "Well you are still rather young," he said softly, with a small shrug of his shoulders.
"If you would give me a few more years I would not be." She added it in, not able to help herself. Seeing the look on his face she knew it was a mistake but she gave him a soft smile to try and soften what she had just said.
"That is probably true, but you will have time to grow with me. I do not plan on turning you immediately anyway, even though I am taking you I do not think you are ready for that step. Too much at once would be detrimental to your health, and despite what you think I am concerned for your well-being." He said softly, his voice so matter-of-fact. As if a detached doctor was talking to her, rather than the man who claimed love for her.
"Sometimes it's really hard to tell, all right most of the time it's hard to tell." She said softly with a shake of her head walking a little faster. Keeping up with his long strides, his boots making a dull thump sound in the icy street, while her sneakers squeaked softly after each step.
"That I am concerned about you?" He asked and felt slight anger when she nodded in agreement. He sighed softly and let the subject drop, if he had not proved to her during all these years that he did care for her then one night would not be enough time to prove it to her.
"Do you feel better now that you have gotten your 'fresh air'?" He asked, his voice carefully neutral once more and Kaylee stiffened already missing the slight emotion he had held in his voice.
She nodded, "Yeah I'm ready to go to sleep now," she said softly, going down the street that would connect with her own. Since her house was the near the corner it was not that much of a long walk. She was moving up her sidewalk, only stopping when he held her back.
He looked into her eyes when he turned, staring wanting to see what emotion played in her eyes. He say with relief that she was calm no anger or sorrow in her gaze and he felt quite lucky to see a slight peacefulness in his eyes. So many things he could say, but nothing would be said.
He kept his feelings to himself, silently staring into her eyes, placing the back of his hand against her rosy cheek. "I am glad, you seem much more calmer." He said softly, for a moment wishing to kiss her. Staring into her eyes, he thought it might be the time. Leaning in closer, her lips so very inviting, at the very last moment he turned and kissed her cheek. Losing his nerve at the last moment, usually he felt so certain but when she was involved he was a besotted fool.
"Let's go in, I do not want you to catch a cold." He said softly and then with the pressure of his hand back on her neck she moved forward. He had been so close and she had felt so uncertain. At first not wanting the kiss and then angry when it was nothing more but a chaste press of lips against her cheek.
She turned slightly feeling the tiniest bit of rejection, she nodded her expression one of coldness. This time breaking out of his hold and going for the front door, she did not look back neither did she wait for him as she opened the door and went upstairs. He was not far behind her though, following like a dark shadow up into her room. Feeling his eyes upon her as she changed back into the gown, still feeling rather chilled from the outside air.
Neither said a word to each other as she got into the bed, looking up at him she felt like a child once more as he tucked her in. Something she had grown accustom to, but was not completely sure she liked. Wondering if she would miss it, or what would change in the week to come.
His hands rubbed down her body for a moment, of course her slim figure was protected by the layers of sheets separating them. Nevertheless he had tucked her in, just like every other time when he was about to leave. He bent over and placed that kiss to her forehead once more stroking her hair back in a kind gesture. He thought that tonight had gone well, of course it had not been completely smooth but he could live with that.
"Pleasant dreams dear one, if you want me to come to you this week I will. Though if you want to spend this last week solely with your family then I will allow it. What do you wish?" He asked softly staring down into her eyes wishing that she would say that he wanted him here. He could handle being alone since this was the last week he at least had something to look forward to.
Kaylee was silent for a long while staring up into his eyes, "I want to be alone for the week," she whispered softly. She sounded slightly nervous, her heart beating a little faster as they spoke of the next week and what would occur at the beginning of the new year.
He nodded, already suspecting her answer. "I will see you January 1st then," he said softly, tucking her dark golden hair away from her face before straightening. "Good night Kaylee," he said softly and then turned and left.
A/N I hope you enjoyed it, sorry it took so long. Awakenings will be updated later I'm not in the best of health right now but I promise I'm not abandoning y'all...again. So anyway I'll update ASAP. Review make me happy!