I know I shouldn't

But I miss you so much it hurts.

And I know I can't tell you

I know you'll wonder why.

But for that short time

You were such a big part of my life

It was hard to imagine you not in it

I told myself not to cry over you

I told myself not to miss you

I told myself you didn't mean anything.

But you meant everything.

And now you're gone.

And I know I was the one that left.

But I felt like I wasn't enough to make you stay

To make you try a bit harder.

But it seemed like you never put up a fight.

Like this is how it was supposed to be

Like I meant nothing

I was there for the physical emotions

But I was never thought of inside your head.

And it makes me weak

To think that you never thought of me

The way I still think of you

I miss the way you held me

I miss the way we talked.

I miss the way you looked at me.

And I wonder

When I return, who will you be?

Will you be someone new?

Will you still have feelings for me

If you ever did.

Will you be with someone new?

It's a fear I don't even want to think about.

But I know I cannot dwell on your memory.

Because there are better things out there.

Than just bits and pieces of what I once had.

So tell me now

What's it going to be?