I know I shouldn't
But I miss you so much it hurts.
And I know I can't tell you
I know you'll wonder why.
But for that short time
You were such a big part of my life
It was hard to imagine you not in it
I told myself not to cry over you
I told myself not to miss you
I told myself you didn't mean anything.
But you meant everything.
And now you're gone.
And I know I was the one that left.
But I felt like I wasn't enough to make you stay
To make you try a bit harder.
But it seemed like you never put up a fight.
Like this is how it was supposed to be
Like I meant nothing
I was there for the physical emotions
But I was never thought of inside your head.
And it makes me weak
To think that you never thought of me
The way I still think of you
I miss the way you held me
I miss the way we talked.
I miss the way you looked at me.
And I wonder
When I return, who will you be?
Will you be someone new?
Will you still have feelings for me
If you ever did.
Will you be with someone new?
It's a fear I don't even want to think about.
But I know I cannot dwell on your memory.
Because there are better things out there.
Than just bits and pieces of what I once had.
So tell me now
What's it going to be?