.Five.

"Though I may be going down,

I'll take in flames over burning out…"

-"Uncharted," Sara Bareilles

Sixteen.

There were sixteen pink and yellow diamonds on the ring that River had slipped onto my finger as I had stared at him, dumbfounded after that unexpected proposal. He had seen my expression and merely given me a cocky smirk before smacking a kiss on my cheek and telling me that he would see me at our cake tasting. Then, he'd walked out, leaving me with my idiot bandmates who'd erupted into hoots of hysterical laughter as soon as the door had shut behind River.

Idiot men.

The rock—excuse me, rocks—on my finger weighed heavily for days. I felt all paranoid when I went out wearing it because I was sure that some shady character would chop off my finger just to steal it. Heck, it could probably feed a family for years! As it was, I felt like I could use my engagement ring to signal ships in the San Francisco bay.

I expressly avoided the wharves and piers when I went up the Bay area, much to the enjoyment and amusement of Luca. Though, I'll admit, my paranoia did start making me laugh at myself, too. I was most probably overreacting, and I started thinking that the ring was nice and, if this marriage meant River showering me with crazy amounts of swag, maybe being married to him would have its advantages.

I ain't no golddigger, but what girl can turn down pretty things that she didn't have to buy for herself?

A chance to reap the benefits, rather than wallowing in the misery of, this sham marriage and needling River over it—after all, it was his future on the line, not mine—was starting to sound pretty okay in my book.

Not even shopping for my wedding dress with my mother, Anne, Lisette, and Dawn could dim that prospect. Much.

No, it turns out that River was the only one who had the honor of being capable of destroying my burgeoning feelings of goodwill towards him and our just-for-show marriage.

I didn't see him again until three weeks before our much-dreaded wedding. He showed up at my door, offered me a cheesy smile, and then dragged me, without warning, kicking and screaming to his car.

"I'll bring her back later, Shannon!" River called over his shoulder to my mother as she stood in the doorway and cheerfully waved goodbye.

My own mother. Traitor.

"Have you totally lost your mind? Have the groupies finally absconded with what little was left of your brain?" I demanded as I attempted to unlock the door and escape from the car. River simply hit the automatic lock button each time I unlocked the door and pulled the car away from the curb. My anger grew exponentially, and I nearly growled in frustration. "Where. The. Hell. Are. We. Going?"

Ignoring my dangerous tone of voice, River just patted my head—clearly unconcerned about taking chances with that hand—and grinned at me. "Why, pumpkin, we have to go talk to the press! You know, magazine reporters? We have an interview today."

I'm not sure the sound I emitted wasn't heard by anyone but the dogs.

"Don't be silly, Aubrey," he began, calmly now. "You should've expected this. Everyone wants to know who is marrying the man that was supposed to be next season's Bachelor."

My jaw dropped. "You? They wanted you to be the next Bachelor?" I burst into hysterical bouts of laughter. This time, it was River's turn to look none-too-pleased.

"What? I don't see what's so funny about that," he muttered darkly. "I'm ridiculously good-looking and have a sparkling personality."

I giggled again. "Oh, yeah. A real sparkling personality. I can't believe the producers actually thought it was a good idea to make the man-whore into the Bachelor. Like anyone would ever believe that you were willing to tie yourself down to one woman."

He shot me another look and jerked his flashy car into a sharp turn. "I'm marrying you, aren't I?"

Rolling my eyes, I slumped down on the plush leather seat and stared out the window at the passing scenery. "You know you would've just slept with half of those contestants and picked the dumbest one as the winner. And then, you would've dumped her as soon as you got bored with the sex."

River snorted. "You can't be bored by sex, Aub. If you are, you sure aren't doing it right." His gaze slid over to me slyly. "Then again, you wouldn't know since you're still a virgin, right? Anytime you need help fixing that," he trailed off, leering at me.

"You would be the last person I would ever ask IF I were still a virgin, River." I flicked my fingers on his shoulder, hard, causing him to flinch. "Not even if you were the last man on earth would I sleep with you," I added with a sneer.

River hummed evilly under his breath. "Famous last words, Aub?"

"No, and shut up. I don't feel like talking to you anymore."

The infuriating asshole just grinned mischievously and continued to drive, though he didn't say another word.

XXX

We met with the reporter—a bubbly blonde from the LA Times named Mindy—at a swanky restaurant in downtown Sacramento. It was obvious that Mindy was a River fan—she fawned and fluttered over him, blue eyes fluttering coyly up at him in awe, and she laughed way too hard at his not-funny jokes. Of course, River lapped up the attention and dazzled the poor idiot with his smiles and compliments. I felt utterly invisible, which was okay because I didn't think I could talk to Mindy seriously without bursting into laughter.

She was so obvious. A dime a dozen for River.

Unfortunately for me, River eventually slid an arm around my shoulders and beamed at me, which was shocking because I hadn't thought he could smile innocently at me. "Mindy, I'd like you to meet Aubrey, my fiancée." His voice was almost reverent, and all I could think was "Quick! Someone find a casting agent!" The man was clearly an excellent actor.

Mindy, however, was not. She stared at me for a moment, looking as though she'd seen something particularly foul, before her face broke into one of the phoniest smiles I'd ever seen. "Oh! Of course! I couldn't believe it when I heard River was getting married, but I also knew you'd have to be something special to snap River right off the market!"

"Oh, she's special alright," River drawled his reassurance with a wide smile, but I definitely heard the smirk in his voice. I slid an arm around his waist and discreetly pinched him, making him jump slightly.

Mindy continued to try to halfheartedly suck up to me, even though it was obvious that she didn't think I was worthy of River. I'm sure my messy hair, faded t-shirt, and worn jeans didn't exactly present the picture of the chic and fashionable woman people had probably been expecting River to end up with.

I could bet a thousand bucks that the article Mindy was going to write would refer to me as "cute" with a "unique style". Emphasis on the unique. It was the way snobs always described those that were beneath them when they were trying to be polite. Obviously, it was as transparent as Glad plastic wrap.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, too, Mindy," I finally interrupted her in the middle of her gushing about how lucky I was to be marrying River. Lucky? Yeah, right. "I was a little worried that the media and the general public would think that I wasn't good enough for River, but he assured me that everyone would love me because he did. Isn't that right, baby?"

River took my free hand in his and discreetly pinched my palm. "Absolutely, darling. Don't you agree, Mindy? Won't everyone just adore my bride-to-be?"

Mindy had the grace to flush. "O-of course! River's fans just want what's best for him, and since he obviously loves you very much, I'm sure they'll love you, too!" There was just enough of a hint of sincerity in her voice to stop me from reaching over and knocking her glass of sparkling cranberry juice right into her lap.

I pasted on my best smile and tried not to gag as I squeezed River's hand in, what I hoped, looked like a loving gesture. "Thank you so much for saying that, Mindy," I gushed. "I've been ever so nervous about that, and it helps that you would say something so kind."

River discreetly pinched me in a you're-pushing-it gesture, and I smirked up at him before I looked back at Mindy, who was raptly studying us as though she were trying to find any sign of discord that she could use to print a sensational, scandalous story for the gossip rags. Sighing a little, I settled back in my chair and got comfortable for what I was sure would be a trying interview.

XXX

I was right.

The rest of the interview was long, and, for the most part, I was completely ignored as peppy Mindy spent her time continuing to simper and flirt with River, despite the fact that his fiancée was sitting right there. I mean, hello? How stupid do you have to be to do that?

Thus, I spent my time wondering how on earth she'd ever found employment at any legitimate news organization, considering how totally unprofessional she was.

I told River as much when the interminable interview had finally ended and we were in the car on the way home.

"Lighten up, Aubrey," he told me with a smirk. "Not everyone is as unscrupulous and above reproach as you, Miss I'll Take Pictures of Naked, Passed Out River and Sell Them to the Highest Bidder."

I waved aside the mention of his prior indiscretion and my brilliance and narrowed my eyes at him. "Right. It's not like you care as long as someone is falling all over themselves for you. I'm surprised you bothered to take me along to this interview. I was probably such a buzzkill for you and your precious Mindy." I widened my eyes exaggeratedly. "I'm sure you could turn around right now, and she'll probably still be there waiting for you. You know, for some post-interview hanky-panky in a seedy motel room somewhere," I added with a lecherous leer.

"Don't be silly, Aubrey. I never stoop to making love to a woman in a motel room," he remarked with infuriating nonchalance.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, I forgot. Their inferior sheets probably give you rashes. No, only the best Egyptian cotton sheets—or is that silk?—for our precious River's delicate sensibilities."

"Oh, ha. Ha. Ha." He paused for a few moments before sighing a little. "You know, if you ever want to really make it in the music industry, you're going to have to develop a thicker skin. If you let everything bother you, like that harmless reporter, you'll waste all your time pissed off at the world. Get over it, Aubrey."

This time, I needed a few moments to stare at him in shocked silence. Finally, I slumped down in my seat and scowled out the window. "You're right."

The car nearly swerved off the road as River turned to gape at me. "What? I'm sorry, I think my hearing is a little faulty." He smirked. "Want to repeat that for me?"

"Want to drive your car before I snap off the gear shift and shove it up your-"

River's hand muffled the last of my words as he grinned at me playfully, and I thought of how the perky Mindy would've given her kidney to see that smile aimed at her. "Don't ruin the moment, Aub."

I shoved his hand away from my face and glared at him. "Fuck you, River."

Yes, I know. Not my best comeback.

XXX

And then, before I knew it, my wedding day had arrived.

I woke before the crack of dawn after a night full of the weirdest dreams, most of them involving River and I screaming at each other at the altar before I shoved him into a pool full of red water—not unlike the one in my backyard had looked when River destroyed my sixteenth birthday party.

Funny, I thought to myself, this wasn't how I imagined I'd feel on my big day. When I was younger, I always thought I would be full of excitement, joy, and want to sing enthusiastically in the hills in a Sound of Music way.

Instead, I woke up with a stomach full of what felt like lead.

I lay in my tangled sheets and contemplated skipping town. I still had seven hours until I was due to walk down the aisle—plenty of time to get the hell out of Dodge. I would wait an appropriate length of time before I would return and hope that my mother had gotten over the worst of her anger and disappointment.

Alas, it was the thought of my mother's disappointment that kept me rooted in place. If it wasn't for her and the fact that I love River's father like an uncle and didn't want to disappoint him either, I would've packed a bag and run.

Not to mention, I'd been promised a better record deal, and the band was stoked about it. For them, for River's dad, and for my mother, I knew I wasn't going anywhere and would end up going through the ultimate farce and marry the guy who had been making my life miserable since the day I was born.

A little while later, I was indulging myself in a sulking bath when Luka bounded into the bathroom, making me slide down under the safety of the bubbles.

"Hello? I'm naked here," I reminded him with a scowl. "Try knocking first."

Luka merely grinned. "You totally thought about making a run for it, didn't you?"

I sighed long-sufferingly. This is why he is my best friend. "Well, I didn't, and I'd like to spend what's left of my life as a free woman, contemplating and mourning the end of my life. Thanks."

He reached down and pinched my cheek. "Aww, poor wittle Aubrey. So dramatic."

"I could still run," I warned threateningly.

Luka snorted. "Not possible. There's a horde of paparazzi outside, salivating at the thought of getting the first pictures of River's blushing bride."

"Are you serious?" I slapped my hands over my face with a moan. "We don't even have a fence to keep them off the property."

"Like that matters when you've got a mother like yours." Luka grinned. "I thought I'd pee my pants at how scary she was when she marched out there and told them to stay off her property or else. Let's just say, they're all camped out in the middle of the street, and I'm pretty sure the cops will be along soon to move them along."

I chuckled at the thought of my mom scaring the crap out of the mindless paparazzi rats. "Best. Mom. Ever."

"I'll say." Luka patted my head playfully. "Well, you just finish up your beauty soak in here, and I'll go grab the rosy bride some breakfast. You've got an hour until hair and makeup show up. I'm guessing your mom's got the dress and jewelry?"

I arched a brow at him. "My, Luka. You sure are taking your man of honor duties seriously, aren't you?"

"Damn straight." He tugged my hair lightly before heading for the bathroom door. "Hell, it's not every day that your best friend marries last year's People's Most Beautiful Man Alive in a gigantic public relations stunt."

Well, I thought to myself as the door shut behind him. "He has a point."

XXX

Before I knew it, it was time for that dreaded walk down the aisle to become River's wife, and every inch of me was screaming at me to get out of the beautifully decked out venue, soft sunlight filtering through tall, arched windows, and the light scent of gardenias—my flower of choice—filling the air.

I glanced at myself in the floor-length mirror once more and tried to ignore the excited chatter of my mother, Lisette, Anne, and Dawn behind me. My mother was to walk me down the aisle, and Dawn was a bridesmaid along with my man of honor, Luka. All of them knew this wedding was a sham, yet they were behaving as though this was the real deal. As though River and I were actually marrying each other because we were in love and wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other.

I couldn't control the shudder that went through me at the thought of a lifetime with that insufferable, egotistical ass.

Well, at least I looked good, I mused as I checked myself out again. My hair had been swept back into a bun of curls with my bangs shading my face. The makeup artist had had a light hand on the application—a total opposite from the makeup I'd gunked on to transform myself into a Smurf the day I'd attempted to publicly embarrass River.

The dress wasn't so bad. I would've been more than happy in a boring, lifeless gown, but the women, and Luka, in my life had fiercely disapproved, and I ended up with this dress. It was a good blend of retro, 40s chic with some contemporary touches—I would've pitched a fit if anyone had tried to get me to try on a ridiculous princess gown, and my mother had known that. She'd actually picked the dress, knowing that its style would appeal to me. A satin, A-line gown would've normally sounded too cliché for me, but the handmade lace illusion piece that delicately draped across my shoulders and formed elbow-length sleeves had sold me. That, and the fact that the gown was tea-length, which fit me to a T, considering I wasn't much of a girl and full-length would've made me feel like an even bigger ass.

I looked pretty damn respectable, if I do say so myself, and the clutch of gardenias in my hand were spectacular, too.

And, yes, I had taken care of the whole old, new, borrowed, and blue business, too.

All that was left was doing the march to the guillotine—er, I mean, to the altar.

The wedding planner stuck her head into the room, looking totally unruffled despite having pulled together this enormous affair of a wedding in mere months. "Ladies," she gestured to Lisette and Anne. "We're about to start, if you'd like to take your seats."

"Of course, we'll be right there," Lisette assured her with a smile. She and Anne kissed my cheeks, squeezed me in death-grip hugs, and looked misty-eyed as they both patted my mother's shoulder reassuringly and left the room.

Dawn clutched her bouquet and grinned excitedly at me. "So, are you ready?"

Luka bounded into the room in his snazzy man of honor suit and smirked at me. "Ready to run away? She sure is, aren't you, Aubrey?"

"Excuse me, I'm a bride today, and there will be no Julia Roberts-esque running away for me today," I told him primly. "Besides, I don't have my sneakers, and you know I'd only embarrass myself if I tried to run in these dainty heels." I gestured to the classy white pumps I wore and their four inch ice-pick thin heels.

"That's enough now, Aubrey." My mother stepped in and frowned at me. "There are several members of the press inside that room, and it is your job to play the part of River's excited bride just like it is his job to play the part of the equally excited groom. There will be no more talk of running away, no more sarcasm, and no more jokes that will make those press members think that something other than true love brought you and River to the altar. Got it?"

"Gee, Mom, when you use that tone on me I feel like I'm back in kindergarten," I quipped and earned myself a death glare from her. "Okay, okay. I get it, I get it. My man of honor and bridesmaid will keep me on track, I'm sure."

Dawn started to giggle, caught my mom's death glare, and stifled the giggle into a choked cough. "Yeah, sure, right. I promise we'll keep Aubrey on her best behavior all day, Shannon."

Luka just grabbed her up in a hug and, when he set her down, I saw her attempting to maintain her stern façade and failing with the way her lips curved into a smile. She's always loved River. He's like the son she never had.

The wedding planner popped in once more and herded us out of the room and into the foyer, where we took our places by the large entrance doors. Mom hooked her arm through mine as we watched Dawn begin her way down the aisle, followed by Luka, who winked lasciviously at me before disappearing into the hall.

Then, it was my turn.

I heard the Wedding March being played by the orchestra—thank goodness, no fussy organs—and noted the nearly four hundred guests, all craftily selected by my mother and River's parents for maximum exposure. All eyes were on me, but I kept my gaze fixed directly ahead of me and matched my pace to my mother's, who was clutching my arm firmly as though still afraid I would bolt at any second.

I spotted River and found that he was actually smiling with what seemed to be sincerity on his annoyingly handsome face. The tux looked amazing on him, and I let myself think that, if I had to marry a guy against my wishes, at least he was incredibly attractive.

And, yes, I can think River is attractive and still want to strangle him with my bare hands.

Before I knew it, Mom passed me off to River, my hands were caught in his, our eyes locked, and the ceremony began. I don't really remember everything that was said, but, luckily, we'd gone with the traditional vows to avoid one of us saying something inappropriate—which was my mother's and his parents' biggest fear—so I just mindlessly repeated my vows after the officiant, all the while wondering why River's hands were so rough when he was just a useless, pretty boy who spent all day in front of a computer—when he bothered working, that is.

As quickly as it began, the ceremony ended, and River leaned down to press his lips to mine. It took every bit of control—and River's hands gripping mine almost painfully—to keep me in place as his mouth brushed over mine once before his lips caressed mine in the manner of a guy who knew just how to kiss a woman to make her melt.

Luckily, the assault only lasted a few seconds, and then we turned away from each other to beam smiles at the cheering guests. I managed to not shove an elbow in his ribs, and he obviously controlled his undoubted need to pinch me.

I won't bore you with excruciating detail about the reception, other than it was long but the food and music was good. Oh, and the alcohol, too. Not that I was allowed to imbibe freely from the open bar because Dawn and Luka had taken it upon themselves to make sure I did nothing unseemly or risk revealing the fact that the wedding was a total sham.

Luka's speech was awesome because it did nothing but compliment me, and Ryan, who River picked as his best man, did nothing but regale our guests with stories of how River and I grew up sniping at each other. Of course, his speech ended with a totally fake gushing over how nice it was that we'd recognized that the line between love and hate really was very thin and had decided to make a go of the love aspect.

River gagged under his breath next to me, and I whispered back in agreement.

But, other than that, the reception was just your average, ordinary wedding reception. The most fun I had was dancing with my band mates.

I used that dancing to forget that the time was quickly drawing closer when River and I would leave the reception, bid farewell to our guests, and go off on the perfect honeymoon to some tropical island where we would be alone. For ten days.

One of us probably wouldn't survive.

Unfortunately, no matter how I dreaded the arrival of that time of the night, it came anyway, and, within minutes, we were alone in the back of a limousine that was taking us to the private jet that would fly us to our very own honeymoon of hell.

When River and I glanced across the limo at each other, the dread we both clearly felt didn't even need to be stated aloud.

It was going to be a long ten days.

---

AN: I think this chapter took me about 5 months to actually write, but I'm determined to finish this story, one way or another, one day! I hope you enjoyed this long overdue chapter, and thank you to those of you who have stuck by this story since the beginning! You're all the best, and I hope you'll let me know if this chapter lived up to your expectations :)