Can't Regret what you don't Remember -Ben Moody (8-5-07)

An application of desperation to proove that I am sane,
they ask me if I know myself, my age, my face and name.
"But I've got the munchies" I try to say, holding out my plastic bag,
containing my favorite meal, a bacon and banana sandwich.

I watched them all float away,
the ribbons down the stream.
I freed them from the wooden tables,
my little sister's birthday balloons.
Then, I watched her cry.

She smiles and shakes her head, the white cap a crown of snow.
She takes me by the hand and tells me it's time to go.
The nurse turns away from the parking lot and I take a quick glance back,
and see a lady who looks like me, wiping her eyes on a lacy pink cloth.
Why can't I recall her name?

A box of chocolate sat on the counter, almost too high for me to reach.
"Flibbertygibbet" I babbled aloud as my fingers grazed the cardboard.
I gave a shreik and a mighty tug and the prize fell onto the floor.
"What are you doing you little geek" my older brother called down the stairs.

The white capped nurse and I pass beneath a fiery tree,
its leaves alight with the colors of autumn.
But I can't remember anything about that time,
except that it looked so pretty.

"Look at the little humming bird Julie" my mother said to me,
"See it there stuck to your window? We call that a suncatcher"
And the colors of the rainbow lit up my small play room,
as I laughed and went to touch the birdie shining the Sun on me.

Steal doors slam shut behind me, and I turn with a quiet gasp.
The nurse grabs me by the sholder and calls, "Sector 7, clear"
I begin to cry and pound the door, the metal cold as ice.
Where am I? who am I?
Why won't it come to me?

The hallways smell like a hospital room,
too clean, too cold and empty.
They lead me to a padded room, and tell me that I'm home.

I sit and stare at the whiteness around me, my home is like a cloud.
Does that mean that I'm an angel?
And if so, then am I dead?

I can't bring up fuzzy images,
can't seem to get them into focus.
And I can't remember that lady's name,
the one who looked like me,
the one who was crying outside.

So I lay down on the pillow soft cloud,
I'll try to go to sleep.
And I'll curl up in a little ball,
like my orange kitty cat use to do.

There was a street, a busy lane,
with cars going back and forth.
And I was so mad at my little sister,
so I pushed her as hard as I could.