My Love Is All I Have To Give
Sung By: Backstreet Boys
I don't know what he does to make you cry,
but I'll be there to make you smile.
Why did he seem to be always there for her? She thought to herself as she stood at her mirror looking at the picture she made in the mirror. Finally she looked and felt beautiful.
Harper had always been around whenever James and she got into a fight. He always seemed to know what to say to make her smile and laugh and bring light back into her heart. Harper's purpose it seemed was to make her happy- but she was promised to someone else. She couldn't allow him to make her forget that her parents expected her to marry James Andrew Blake III. That was what had been expected of her since she was born- and she'd been raised to believe that.
"Abi, are you ready to begin?" her best friend Nikita asked popping into the room.
"Yeah!" she sighed as she looked over at her best friend. "Do you think Harper will show?"
"I'm not sure honey. He was really hurt yesterday; I don't understand why you can't love him?" Nikita responded.
"I have committed myself to James, and there is no looking back." Abi sighed sitting on her bed.
"You had better look back, because after a little- you won't be able to." Nikita advised leaving her to her own devices. Abi sighed recalling the last year of her life there in New York and especially the last month.
I don't have a fancy car,
to get to you I'd walk a thousand miles.
"Hey sweet lady come on- I'll drop you home?" he called out one evening as she was walking towards the bus stop. Again he seemed to be her knight in shining armor- except his car was a true rust bucket that didn't look like it could make it past the next mile. "It's a Saturday night and it's too dangerous for a lovely lady like you to be out by herself."
"How'd you see me? What are you doing in this part of town?" she asked knowing that he lived in an apartment above the Bookstore that he worked at which was miles South of where they were at present in Manhattan a few blocks South of the Reflexions Restaurant where she and James had been having dinner with a few of his foreign clients.
"I was visiting my father in New York; I missed talking with him and decided to visit him. I saw you out here and knew that you were not supposed to be here by yourself."
"You sure your car can take such a trip?" she replied smiling through tears. She'd just ran out of the restaurant where James had been blatantly flirting with his ex-girlfriend whom he'd bumped into during their main course. He obviously hadn't noticed that she'd left as yet.
"That is a challenge for old 'Lancelot' here. We've been together since high school." He responded with a smile tugging on his beautiful coral lips.
"When was that 1950? I didn't think you were that old." She responded giggling as he came out of the car to walk beside her. She smiled as she looked up to him thinking of how good of a friend he was to her. For the past six months, they'd been talking and getting closer to each other.
"No I'm not! So how are you Abigail? I haven't seen you come into the bookstore in a while?" he asked as they stopped and sat on a bench.
"I've been okay. Sorry Harper- I wanted to come into 'Quiet Corner' but it's been so hectic with the wedding plans." Abigail replied looking into his beautiful blue eyes. That was another strike against him- he was white whereas she and James were black.
"I miss talking to you, you're cute and spunky!" he stated smiling as he held her right hand in his left and looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes.
"I'll come in on Monday to get a few new books, if I can." She sighed going weak in the knees. "I have to go-"
His kiss on her hand stopped her as he stated forcefully- in a tone that told her he would not take 'no' for an answer, "No! I'll take you home. You live out in Jersey- that's a long walk home. Hey let me be a gentleman."
Biddably she followed him to the front passenger seat and allowed him to drop her home. As they sat in his car she laughed as they talked about everything and nothing. She forgot about all that had hurt her before.
I don't care if he buys you nice things
Does his gifts come from the heart-I don't know
But if you were my girl...
I'd make it so we'd never be apart.
As they turned up the driveway to her condo he let out a low whistle at the beauty of the place.
"Nice digs!" he stated causing her to blush. "It must have cost a pretty penny."
"Thanks, James bought it for me as an engagement present. It's for me to stay in whilst I'm working on our wedding plans. He wanted me closer to the city and to him, but I rarely get to see either." She sighed shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. Internally she wondered why she always felt such a need to tell him so much.
"So why does a guy with so much just leave his fine things to their selves?" he asked as he walked her to her door.
"Well he's always busy with business associates and keeping our portfolios at their optimum." She sighed as she opened her door. "Would you like to come in for some coffee?"
"Sure! I would love to see your library. Your book demands have almost tripled 'Quiet Corners' revenue." He replied laughing as he followed her into the beautifully decorated foyer and she took his cat and placed it within a closet behind the staircase.
The entryway was beautiful; it was really big and spoke of opulence and class. The halls were painted a pretty yellow that reminded Harper of the bright dresses she always wore on her visits to the bookstore. She was always so bright and vivid- like her entryway. There were a few French impressionist paintings on the walls that lead to the kitchen with the staircase leading upstairs to the bedrooms just above the hall closet.
As he passed the living room he noted that it was painted in a pretty shade of coral- which reminded him of her favorite polish color. The furnishings in that room were simple, comfortable but obviously rich and elegant. She had pictures and other knick-knacks spread around her living room that gave tiny clues into her personality. She had plants and vases filled with fragrant flowers on many end tables, all adding color and life to her home.
The home had the look of a place where someone had been living for a while. How a man could be engaged to Abi and leave her to herself for such a while he couldn't understand, he'd have been lucky to give her a week engaged before tying the proverbial knot. Her fiancé was obviously a fool.When you talk-does it seem like he's not
even listening to a word you say?
As she turned on her coffeemaker, the phone rang and she looked at the caller id. Sighing she picked up the phone and answered it on the third ring as she looked through her fridge for the cake that she had baked earlier.
"Hello this is Abigail!" she answered.
"Why'd you leave?" James came over on the phone forcefully.
"Because Melissa was so wrapped around you- and you seemed to be so into her. What does it matter James?"
"You can't leave me in the middle of dinner- it's not done." He stated in response dismissing her response.
"And having you drool over Melissa with me there is? James- I was tired and needed to go home- I didn't really want to go to dinner anyway- you did." She pointed out.
"That is beside the point Gail, we went to dinner with important clients and you leaving soured everything. You are my fiancé- you should have stayed!" he replied causing her to feel frustrated.
"Its Abi or Abigail- a gale is a plain bird with a beautiful voice- I'm not one of those." She replied angrily.
"You are my plain bird- I made you! Your parents molded you into my perfect fiancé- and don't you forget that. I bought you and can call you whatever I feel like- Gail!" he exclaimed angrily.
She silently hung up before she said something that would seriously hurt them both. As she hung up she fell to the floor in tears. She always felt so trapped- like a nightingale placed into a gilded cage to sing when asked to. "You never listen!" she yelled at the phone forgetting that Harper was still there.
That's okay babe, just tell me your problems
I'll try my best to kiss them all away...
"Abi, are you okay?" Harper asked coming to sit beside her on the kitchen floor. "You can tell me anything- I won't judge you! I'm here for you!"
"Ohhh! I can't stand him sometimes- he doesn't listen. Melissa is his ex and she has always wanted him back- I don't believe in sex before marriage- but she does and around her I feel inadequate. She is willing to meet all of his needs and I'm not. She's so small and exotic looking- whereas I'm this clumsy tall oaf from Carolina who hated all of the charm courses his parents and mine thought I would need if I were to marry him." She cried with so much hurt in her voice.
"You are beautiful- no one else can compare to you. You are a true gem that has been hidden- and if he doesn't realize this someone else will." He replied honestly- looking deeply into her eyes as he wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks with his thumbs. He face was cupped into his hands. She had never felt so safe or comfortable before.
"Who will? I've never had a guy into me- they all see me as a friend." She sighed with tears rimming in her eyes as she hiccupped softly.
"I will…" sighed against her lips as he captured her lips for a wild and strong emotional journey that took her heart and soul by force. There was definitely something there that was not there with James. She forgot everything the moment his lips touched hers- and the only thing she wanted was to taste more of him.
He was so tall- about the same height as James, with beautiful strawberry-blonde hair that her fingers could not get enough of. Her tall and curvy body fit so well against his lean and hard frame. His hands wound their way around her back and pulled her so closely to him that she felt every hard angle and plain of his body.
"Leave him- be with me!" he whispered against her lips as they pulled apart.
"No! Please leave-" she responded crying as she ran from him up to her room. Sighing Harper let himself out of her home.
But my love is all I have to give
Without you I don't think I can live
I wish I could give the world to you...but
Love is all I have to give
He called her later to apologize and sent her an e-mail with an invitation to an art gallery opening and a picnic the next day as friends. He knew that he couldn't bare the thought of her not being around. If all he could give her was love and acceptance- he would, he knew that someday she would see the fact that he was better for her. She accepted his invitation and went on it.
"Look this is the portrait I saw in a gallery a few months back, I want to look like this lady when I get married. She's black but so beautiful with her dress and roses in her hair." She said to him. "Do you know that roses are my favorite flower?"
"Yeah! You have a rose on your keychain, love to wear rose scents and always have a rose in your hair." He replied laughing. "I love the fact that you're like a rose finally opening it's heart."
"Who painted this?" she wondered aloud flipping through the guide book trying to not react to his comment but he caught her blush and laughed. She muttered to herself as she continued searching and only found the initials H.R.M. next to the portraits names. "I would love to meet the artist to ask him who is his muse?"
"Maybe someday you will! Let's go look at "The Falcon's" work." He suggested as they got up and walked over to another section. That day was beautiful and she felt free, for with him she never thought of heartaches.
Does he leave when you need him the most?
Does his friends get all your time?
Two Days Later
"Hey there beautiful!" Harper greeted as she walked into his bookstore. "How is the wedding plans coming along?"
"Good- but again the groom is out of town with some business associates and I need you to come with me someplace." She sighed looking uncertain.
"Sure! Hold on!" He turned and called over his assistant manager and after leaving instructions he came along with her.
"Where are we going?"
"I need to go check on my Bridal gown and I needed a males opinion- cause my mother and bridesmaids have been running me ragged." She answered sheepishly. "I wanted James here- but as usual he had another business trip."
"No problem- I love hanging with you. I love you!" he replied smiling earnestly.
She peered up at him and tried to find any untruth. His face was filled with so much emotion- that it confused her. She had so much she wanted to say to him- but they could never be said. Slowly she looked away at the stores they passed. It was a beautiful Spring day in New York and the flowers were blooming. She loved the city in Spring, it was her favorite season of all. As they walked she felt so happy as they talked about their lives and favorite things to do. After a few moments they arrived at the trendy Bridal boutique on the lower East Side.
"We're here." She sighed as they stopped and he opened the door for her to enter.
"Ms. Peters- you're here and on time. Is this your fiancé?" the boutique director asked as they were ushered into a private area in the back. "You two look to be so in love. Good sign for your marriage, it's good when the husband can come in and help the bride with her choices. I don't really believe in all of that superstition stuff-"
"No Mrs. Morrison- this is my friend Harper Reeve- he came along with me because James had another trip to go on." She quickly corrected and cut her off receiving a weird look from the director and an unreadable expression from Harper.
"Well this way- to the dressing rooms. Mr. Reeve, you can sit here whilst Ms. Martin tries on a few gowns." The director said ushering Abigail into the dressing room.
Thirty minutes later after trying on four dresses that didn't suit Abi at all Reeve suggested a dress to the director that she was hesitant to try on Abi- but after Harper's look of determination she handed it to Abi. Abi came out of the dressing room in a beautiful A-line gown that had a corset bodice with a lace up front that gave her figure a sexy, yet elegant look. The sleeves were long caught just above her elbow before trailing beautifully around her. The dress gave her the look of a slim, tall princess from a medieval book. To him she looked perfect, like a portrait he'd painted the week after he'd met her a year before.
"Wow! This is exactly what I wanted to look like. It reminds me of a portrait of a lady I saw at the art gallery yesterday by my new favorite artist." She sighed looking at her reflection. She finally felt like a bride. "Thanks Harper! Now I can look like the bride I always dreamed I should be."
Harper looked at her then sighed to himself wishing that she was his bride.
Baby please...I'm on my knees
praying for the day that you'll be mine!
Why was he praying? He had stopped praying the day his mother had died as a teen. It was then that he'd realized that money did not buy happiness. And here he was on the day before her wedding praying to the man upstairs for help in getting through the next day. He knew that she was his- yet she was still so stuck on marrying James. She was just too stuck on doing what was expected of her.
His doorbell rang as he got up and it was her and she was on his doorstep crying. Again she'd had an argument with James and as usual he was there for her.
"Abi- he's not for you. He doesn't really love you; he can't love you like I do!" he whispered as he held her to him.
"It's too late Harper- I have to leave!" she cried out as she pulled away from him and crashed into his studio equipment. It was then that she truly took a look around her and at the portrait that she had fallen in love with months before. Next to it was a portrait of Harper looking like a Royal Prince from the Renaissance. "You're H.R.M.?" she asked taken aback.
"Yes I am, I have a lot of money, I can take care of you. I'm Harper Reeve Martin an artist- and you are the muse behind my portrait 'Waiting lady.' I love you and want you to be mine."
"You're just like the others- to everyone I'm a possession or collectable- I thought you were different. I thought you understood that I loved you because you weren't one of them. I can't Harper. Goodbye, I pray that you can come to share in my big day, tomorrow. I really want you there." She sighed as walked away.
As he called out to her she continued running and he came back to his studio where he looked at her portrait and also over at his newly finished portrait. It was a self portrait of the artist Harper Reeve Martin. And in his hand he had a fully bloomed red rose- too bad the poetic justice behind it hadn't come through.
Hey girl, I don't want you to cry no more-inside
All the money in the world could never add up to all the love
I have inside...I Love You
Thinking of all that she'd felt with Harper- and recalling her past with James- she realized that had Harper had nothing but the shirt on his back- she'd have ran away with him. Why should it matter that he could afford many shirts? She loved him as he was and would not let the best thing to ever happen to her get away.
Looking around her room she realized that she had to leave. Quickly pulling off her veil she quickly French braided her hair and added roses to it as she picked up a knapsack of bare essentials and walked out of her room out to where her father was waiting on her.
"Daddy tell James I can't marry him." She stated as James came her way.
"Tell me why yourself?"
"Because you want me to be another thing you own- I can't live like that. What's my favorite flower? My favorite color or even favorite portrait?" she asked turning to James seriously. He stood there at a loss- unable to figure what to say.
"Goodbye James- you can marry Melissa or someone else! We're not made for each other." she said as she ran outside to where she looked around for her car and found Harper seated on the hood of a Black Mustang GT Prowler.
"I came for what is mine- and I knew she would be mine." He began as she ran over to him. "I have a gift for you."
"I don't care how much you have of don't have- I love you and I want to be with you!" she sighed against his lips as she hugged him to her.
"Good! Cause this portrait is for you- the Lady who had me waiting." He sighed as he hugged her to him and pointed to the finished portrait that she had seen the day before. He twirled her around and watched as she laughed freely. "Now if we leave now- we can get to Atlantic City by morning to tie the knot- I want you to be mine- now and forever."
"And when we get back you continue working at the bookstore- and I'll find a job at a new elementary school. We're going to be so happy!" she giggled against his lips.
"And another thing I need to tell you- I own 'Quiet Corner' and a few other businesses. I want you to meet my father Harcourt Martin when we get back- he's going to love you!" he replied laughing against her lips.
They were married that night and truly made their love the number one thing in their lives. No matter how much money they had at anytime- they were known for their love.
And I will give it to you
All I can give, All I can give
Everything I have is for you
But love is all I have to give
Ok so this is my first real song fic. It's not as awesome as I would want- but hey I tried! Hope you loved it- please read and review!