18Summary: Oh my god, I could throttle my twin brother. My best friend's been crushing on him for years, and he only JUST TOLD ME that he's been crushing on her... For longer? I thought there were no secrets between us! What's more, I promised both of them I wouldn't tell the other, the idiots. Now I have to set them up. If this doesn't work, I'll kill them.
Note: Don't ask where this came from, 'cause I don't know. Just a random inspiration that strolled into my brain (I'm still not sure whether I should reward or kill whichever dunce of a cell opened the door for it). So, read on, uh... Readers!
Of Twins and Fantasized Strangulations
"HOW long did you say this has been going on?"
"I, uh, since we were five, sis," my brother answered with a flinch. Oh, I would SO strangle him if it weren't for the circumstances. I plopped myself down on his desk chair, ignoring my own.
"I'm sorry. Tell me again when... How... This started?"
He sighed. "That time I tried jumping off the swing, and I sprained my ankle. She sat with me while you went to get mom. I was crying, so she tried to 'kiss it better'." He started to blush. My brother, blushing. This is SO screwed up. "So she kissed my ankle. It didn't help, but I'm still pretty sure that's when I started liking her."
Before we go on, you need to know a few things. See, right now, I'm talking to my three-minutes-and-twenty-six-seconds-older-than-me twin brother Jacob. We're obviously fraternal – being opposite genders and all – but we do look similar (shiny yellow-blond hair, bright blue eyes, clear pale skin). We even dress similarly. We have never fought, ever, in our lives (hard as that may be to believe) and there are very, very few secrets between us. But this, this shouldn't have been one of them.
We're talking about my best friend and twin soul, Honey (I believe this name is to her ultimate misfortune, as sweet as she may be. I don't know WHAT her parents were thinking.). Honey has had a crush on my brother since we were six. Six, I tell you! And now, after nine years of promising never to tell a soul, I find out that he's liked her since we were five! This is so incredibly unfair! I could just suffocate him!
I guess Jake saw my thoughts on my face, 'cause the next thing he said was, "You can't tell her, Signy. Please don't, please."
"But what if-"
"Please, Sig." His eyes were so pleading. Oh, I really wish I could throttle him.
"I- okay. Promise." I hopped out of the desk chair and clambered up the ladder to my top bunk, already working furiously to put together a plan.
vvvvvvvvvv
I got onto the bus looking like a zombie. As I sat down next to Honey, she asked me brightly, "How was your sleep? ...Or lack thereof?"
I gave her a look that is known to make most people cower in fear. (Not Honey though, she's used to it.) "I despise mornings," I said darkly, steering around directly answering her question. Truthfully, I'd been up most of the night brainstorming. "Listen, I was thinking." I paused to make sure she was listening – which she was – and then continued. "Tomorrow is a Saturday, and they're calling for good weather, so... Wanna go for a picnic by the lakeshore? Y'know, out at Coronation Park-" I laughed at the grin on her face. "I see you approve of the idea."
She nodded vigorously (that's ridiculous, no human being should be able to nod that fast. Her head should be falling off her neck.) "That's a greatidea, Signy!" She was trying not to squeal, and failing miserably. Her cute, warm little smile of delight thawed my evil, cold inner morning-hater, and I laughed when she threw her arms around my neck. She pulled away again and looked at me. "I haven't been on a picnic in ages! What inspired this?"
Crap. "Um, nothing. I mean, I just, haven't been on a picnic in a long time either." She seemed to accept that answer – Phew.
So, I wonder how she'll react to my inviting my brother along. I sighed. The weather better be as nice as the forecast says... Or I'll have to strangle the weather man.
vvvvvvvvvv
Jake, were he a normal fifteen-year-old boy, would be grumbling about carrying the picnic basket all the way to the park. However, neither of us have ever been normal, and he never complained at all. As we walked, I turned around to face him (therefore, I was walking backwards).
"What is it you like about Honey?" I asked him curiously. I wasn't teasing at all, I was just suddenly wondering if there was something specific. I turned forward again and fell into step beside him.
He blushed a bit. "Well, she's really nice, for one thing. Not a mean bone in- scratch that, not a mean molecule in her body. She's always so innocent. Plus, she's absolutely adorable... She's got those huge amber eyes that have an entire world in them, and the little nose, and her little smile that melts your insides, and her hair that she always braids like she's still six years old..."
I poked him experimentally. "Yep," I said to no one in particular, "He's as squishy as we suspected."
"Hey!" he tried to look indignant, but he was laughing.
"I knew all that though," I said, trying to sound disappointed. "I was hoping for some fantastic story akin to Shakespeare!" I made a face. "Actually, no, I don't like Shakespeare that much. Um... Another Romance author..."
"Hey Signy!" We had reached the park, and Honey was waving at me from our favourite spot under an incredibly twisted and gnarled old willow tree. I waved back, and glanced at my brother. He looked like he was going to melt into a puddle of goo at her utter kawaii-ness (I don't use Japanese much, when talking about people at least, but the word – which means 'cute', by the way – fits Honey extremely well.) She was wearing a little yellow sundress that floated down to just past her knees, and – as per usual – she had loosely plaited her long, honey-coloured (ha ha, yes, honey) hair.
As I brushed aside the curtain of willow branches, I said, "I hope you don't mind, I invited my brother along..."
"Oh! I, um, no..." She's so nervous around my brother, it's so cute (admittedly, it's also rather amusing).
So Jake spread out the stereotypically red-and-white picnic blanket and we ate our lunch like any regular picnicking people. Nothing seemed to be happening, so I decided to see if I could trigger some kind of... I dunno, anything, really.
"Hey Jake," I said to get his attention, "Do you remember the time you 'saved' Honey from those bullies, when we were six?" Conveniently, this was both an easy-to-remember event and when Honey started to like him.
"Er- yeah," he said awkwardly. Both his and Honey's eyes went unfocused for a moment in memory, and I chose to join them-
Honey was sitting on the ground, rubbing a bruise on her knee and crying.
"You have a weird name and your nose is too small!" jeered one of the three boys standing around her.
"Yeah!" cried the other two. One of them kicked her in the shin again.
Then Jake came running up. "Hey!" he yelled. "Leave her alone!"
"What're you gonna do, superman?" said the first boy. "Put us in jail?"
Jake swiftly kicked out and had him on the ground in moments. "That's what I'm gonna do, you meanie!" He let the boy go. "Now go away and never hurt Honey 'gain!"
Upset, the three boys ran off. Jake got down on his knees and hugged Honey. "Are you gonna be okay?" Honey just nodded, hugging him back and sobbing into his shoulder. Pulling away, he looked about, then plucked a flower from the ground and offered it to her shyly. She took it and looked up at me where I was climbing down from the tree I'd scrambled into to get away from the bullies (she hadn't followed me 'cause she couldn't climb trees).
"Your brother's just like a superhero," she told me. "You're lucky you get to have him around all the time."
"You know, Jake was a pretty good karate student for a six-year-old," I observed. Suddenly I realized that Honey was sobbing a little bit. She wiped her eyes and pointed. "It happened right over there, under that tree," she said shakily. I looked, and sure enough, that was the tree. I put one arm around her in a comforting half-hug.
"Hey," I said quietly. "Hey, it was nine years ago. No one's teased you since then, and even if they did, Jake would have them on the ground even faster. He's still an A-plus karate student." I looked at him expectantly, and he awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. Honey glanced at him, and he smiled and nodded slightly.
I cast a glance around are picnic site and pulled away from her. "Y'know, I think I'll take our trash to the garbage bin, before any more of it flies away." I snatched an offending napkin out of the air and started to collect all of our rubbish in a plastic bag. I was on my way in no time, leaving the two oblivious lovebirds alone. As I glanced at them over my shoulder, I thought, I'll throttle them both if nothing happens!
I spied a perfect way to watch them on my way back to the tree – a huge branch high on the tree but conveniently overhanging Jake and Honey. Glancing around, I spotted our neighbour – a nice old lady named Mrs. Jenkins who has far too many cats for one sane human being – carrying a few bags of groceries home past the park. I rushed up to her, explained what I was doing (which she thought was a wonderful idea), and asked if she could help me. When I told her my idea of how to help me, she laughed and handed me a bag of groceries. I walked past the park with her until we reached the tall hedges, then handed her groceries back and snuck back into the park. I managed to get to the tree without Jake and Honey noticing – I was round the other side of it, of course – and I stepped out of my sandals and climbed quietly, barefoot, up the tree. There was just enough of a breeze rustling the leaves to cover the sound of me settling myself down on the branch above them.
"Where has my sister gone?" I heard Jake ask.
"She's off being a good citizen." Honey answered.
"...What...? How'd you-"
Honey laughed. "I saw her run off to help old Mrs. Jenkins with some groceries."
"Oh. Well that's good, I was starting to think she'd been eaten be the trash can or something," Jake said, and Honey laughed again.
There was a silence so awkward I could feel it from six feet above them, and I ground my teeth.
"So... How's the art project going?" Jake asked. "Y'know, that one with the paper flowers..."
"Oh! Fine, thank you."
More silence. After a moment, I dropped an acorn on Honey's head (it wasn't until a few days later that I paused to wonder what an acorn was doing in a willow tree).
"Ow!" She flinched and put a hand on top of her head. I'm just glad she didn't look up into the tree.
"Are you okay?" Jake leaned forward and put a hand out as if to touch her head, but hesitated.
"Yeah, it must've been a squirrel..." I guess her eyes were closed and then she opened them, because suddenly both of them froze. I'm willing to wager they both realized at the exact same moment that there were about ten centimetres separating their noses. Which, by the way, made me want to giggle with giddy glee – utmost apologies for the alliteration overdose.
It must've taken them about three minutes to get their voices back. "Um," Honey started.
I don't know what went through my brother's head, but praise the lord it did, 'cause he closed the gap. Their lips were pressed together for just a moment, and then he pulled away.
"I'm sorry," He spluttered frantically, "I've wanted to do that for years, I'm sorry, I-"
"Y-years...?" Honey asked quietly, turning red. Jake's mouth clamped shut, he blushed brightly, and he nodded.
"That's not fair," She said. "If I'd known, I would've- I would've told you."
"...Told me... What...?"
"That I've had a monstrous crush on you since that bully thing when we were six,"
"I- oh. 'Cause I- I sort of- I've liked you since we were five," He sounded almost pained.
"Ehh?!" At this I had to try very hard not to burst out laughing – 'Eh?' moments were very rare with Honey. "Really?"
"Y-yeah."
There was a moment of silence.
Then Jake spoke. "Could I- could I, um, kiss you again?" He was so incredibly awkward, it was brilliant.
"Y-yes,"
This time he leaned in more slowly, and the kiss lasted longer than an instant. I suppose I won't be throttling anyone. That's good. As soon as they were done, I dropped out of the tree and (to my immense pleasure) scared the living daylights out of them.
"And to think it all happened on the shores of Lake Ontario," I announced in my best narrator impression.
"What were you doing up there?!" Honey squealed.
"Why, I was bird-watching. There were a couple of the rare 'Oblivious Lovebirds' nearby, and I just couldn't pass it up."
Jake was gaping at me. "What?" I asked him irritably.
"You just dropped ten feet out of a tree," He stated.
"Yeah." I said. "So what?"
"I- never mind." A look of realization lit up his face. "Did you set this up?"
"Give the boy a prize!" I laughed and patted him on the head as I walked past him. "I'm leaving for real now," I said. With a backward glance, I suggested, "Honey, why don'cha tell him what you did with the flower?"
While Jake ran off to find the bullies' parents and tell them what their sons had been doing, I walked Honey back home. When we got there, she held the flower out to her mom and said, "This is very special and I wanna keep it forever. Mommy, well you help me press it?" Her mother nodded and they got to work straight away. I went back to the park to find my brother and my mom, but when I went over to Honey's house a few days later, the flower had been pressed, framed and hung up on Honey's wall... Where it has remained to this day.
I'd love to know what you think! Also, I think I'll write an epilogue of Honey's 'revenge' (so to speak). Reviews would be greatly appreciated, but constructive criticism and flames are not desired. Thanks for reading, have a great morning/afternoon/evening/day/night!