My Cry for Love

I bet anyone who ever caught a glimpse of my stories and/or profile then you must be wondering where all the ideas came from. You wanted to know my motivation, my inspiration and any other reasons why I typed up so many stories all at once but never finish them. I had been writing since I was very little and looking back now I could see that none of them made any sense. I never pictured myself as becoming a famous writer but a famous jet pilot, soaring freely through the endless sky.

Writing was never part of my dreams or what I want to be when I grow up. To be quite honest, I took a long break from writing and then got bored one day and started writing. I didn't care about grammar, plot, or anything like that but just wrote whatever is on my mind. It didn't dawn on me that I wanted to publish my stories until one day during the middle of High School when I started picturing my fortunes. Looking back now at what I wrote in Middle School and High School was a shock and disappointment since I could see that they are lacking everything in a story.

It was just recently out of High School that my writings changed and it changed so much that it wasn't even recognizable. I met a girl and fell in love over the summer which is a big thing. I avoided relationships in school due to the possibilities of being rejected or the one I finally came to love leave me. Little did I know, she eventually left me for another person and that broke my heart into a million pieces. I literally cried for hours thinking if there was anything that I could have done better. It was at this point that I started not caring about writing but for some odd reason I couldn't help myself.

This is the next step of my life in which I dated random girls that I immediately fall in love with and I was happy for that moment. Just like a time loop, each girl dumped me for another guy and I was left with nothing except tears and a shattered heart. Just like earlier, I hardly cared about writing but I couldn't help myself and continued writing. Each time I was left with emptiness, my writing started changing like each experience was actually making me a better writer. It's like I knew how to express my emotions through words and I gotten better at each time but the pain still lingered in my soul.

The point of me telling you this was that each girl that I wept when they left me filled me with a burst of emotions that I created a new story with endless possibilities. However, that burst of emotions would shortly die out and I would only be left with the emptiness and the realization of my loneliness. With that in mind, I am desperately trying to find love out there to cleanse my soul and finally make me happy instead being in this depression of lost love. All of my stories that I written so far were direct results of failed relationship as I tried to remedy myself by putting either negative or positive emotions into a new story.

So thus is who I am and how I came to be. I may have a broken heart and soul with many pieces but I will never give up finding love. Love is the only reason why I continue to exist and I will express the depth of my love and the pain through my stories. As a writer, I will continue to write stories as a quest to reach out to someone who can see the pain and agony of my heart that longs for someone. Love is so influential in my life that it's becoming a necessity and something I will devote and commit my entire being into. I will continue to give out all of my love hoping someday that it could be equally returned.

I will wait for that day until all of my love dies out…for this is my melody of a broken heart.