Hi. I'm Katie.
I'm 5 years old. And three quarters.
They told me I have loo-kem-ya or something. I don't really know. I'm not good with long, hard words.
But whatever this is, I hope no one gets it ever.
I hate it. I hate it more than the monster that lives in my closet. I hate it more than the veggies mommy forces me to eat.
Everything changed because of it.
Now, I'm stuck in this room that looks too cleans and too white.
And it smells weird.
There are these scary box things beside my bed that make these beeping noises. They are really annoying. They keep me up all night.
And have to wear this ugly white dress everyday. It smells weird, too. Like old people.
They call this place a hospital.
My Uncle Mike taught me that word, you know.
But I just want to go home.
I miss my room. I miss the playground. I miss our strolls in the park. I miss picnics in the garden. I miss my toys. I miss my bed. I miss my pink dress. I miss my puppy, Panda.
And I miss playing with my friends. I have a lot of them, you know, friends. And they visit me all the time and bring me gifts and stuff.
I can't do what kids my age usually do, because of this. And I cry because it hurts sometimes.
But my mommy and daddy are always here. They make it all better.
There is this man, who always wears a white dress, comes to check on me everyday, and pretends to be my friend. Mommy says he's here to save me.
I think they call him a duck-tor or something. I don't know why. He doesn't look like a duck to me. I think it's mean that they call him names. Even if he does creep me out sometimes. But I don't think he means to.
But whatever. I don't care if he's trying to save me; I just think he should stop talking to my mommy and daddy.
Every time- okay, almost every time he speaks to them, he brings bad news.
At least, I think it's bad news.
My parents get this really sad look on their faces. And then, they'd turn to me, and my mommy would start crying. My daddy would hug her and tell her things will be okay. But I'm not so sure he believes that himself. Because he would look like he was holding back tears.
I've been sick before.
But there's nothing a band-aid, a spoonful of that syrup stuff, and kiss from my mommy can't do, right?
That stuff always work. Trust me.
I don't get what's so different this time.
Oh. My parents and the duck-tor are coming.
Why are they staring at me like that?
I was leaving.
That's what they told me.
They told I was so sick that I had to leave.
I don't have to leave, do I?
I don't want to. I really don't.
I don't know when, but the duck-tor said that I really don't have much time left.
This made my mom cry even harder. And my parents hugged me so tight that I couldn't breath.
When the duck-tor left, I asked where I was going.
My daddy said I was going to this wonderful place called heaven, where everything was perfect. I'll be very happy there. I won't be sick anymore. It sounded so familiar.
Then, I remembered. That's where Grandma Alice went to.
I really miss her. And I kept hoping she would visit me sometime. She didn't even come for my birthday party.
We even sent her an invitation. I made it myself and handed it to Joe, the mailman. He is a good friend of mine, you know.
But she never came back. Does that mean I'll never come back?
I told them that they shouldn't be sad. I mean, we'd still be together, right? Except we'll have a new home and new friends.
To make them feel better, I promised to take care of them when we got there. I told them to start packing our bags. And to remember to bring Panda. We couldn't leave without him. I wanted him to meet Grandma Alice.
But it seems I just made things worse.
This is all very confusing.
Okay. So, they're not coming with me.
They told me heaven was a special place. They said heaven was just not ready for them yet.
This made me cry. A lot.
I was going to miss them the most.
I told them that Grandma Alice will take care of me. And they can always call me. I'm sure Grandma Alice has a fellytone over there. It's not like they can't come just to visit me sometimes, right?
Danton came over with his mom today.
He's my bestfriend. The best one you could ever find.
I found him in the ice cream shop last summer, in case you were wondering.
He stayed over the whole day to play.
He thought it would make me happy.
But I always got too tired.
Even for pretend. We used to pretend to be anything and everything we could think of. From monkeys to superheroes to race cars.
So we laid on my bed and talked.
We talked about anything and everything we could think of, like how we used to.
We stared outside my closed window.
It was dark outside, except for the stars in the sky.
We gazed at the them, like how we used to.
I wondered why something so pretty could be so far away.
Then something caught my eye. It was a shooting star.
I've never seen a real one before. But I always wanted to.
Danton reached for my hand and told me to close my eyes and make a wish.
And I did.
My wish was plain and simple.
I wish I didn't have to leave.
Nothing big or fancy. I know I could've wished for something more.
But this was what I wanted. And needed.
As quickly as it had come, the shooting star disappeared from the sky.
Danton turned to me and told me that no matter what happened, he will always love me.
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.
I was happy.
I felt so tired.
I've never been this tired, ever.
And everyone seemed extra sad when they were around me.
I was starting to think my wish wouldn't come true.
Maybe I didn't wish hard enough.
I held my mommy's hand and my daddy's in the other.
Everyone I loved was gathered around my bed.
They were looking down at me with that weird look again.
Some of them were crying.
I gave up on stopping them from crying a long time ago.
It seemed the more I try to cheer them, the more upset they become.
And then, I felt it.
I was being pulled away.
I tried to hold on as tight as I could, but my parents' hands seemed to be fading away from my grip. Everything was fading away.
Suddenly, I couldn't feel anything.
I couldn't hear the beeping box beside my bed.
I couldn't hear their voices anymore.
I couldn't hear them telling me that they love me.
I couldn't smell the weird scent of my room.
I called to my parents, to anyone. But I don't think they heard me.
Then, I couldn't breath.
I couldn't see anything.
I started to panic. I grew real scared. Where was everybody?
At that moment, I saw a bright light, so bright that it was blinding.
And I saw my mommy's face. She was laughing at something my daddy said.
And there was Danton. Sweet, lovable Danton. He was playing in the playground we both loved.
And there was Uncle Mike and Auntie Mae. There was Sam, Johnny, Rosie, and Louis. And there was Panda running around.
So many familiar faces, I miss them. Everyone I loved were all smiling and waving at me. It was like watching a movie, only different.
And then, it all turned black, pitched black. Like the sky at night, only there weren't any stars shining.
But I wasn't so scared anymore. I felt. . . peace.
Maybe leaving wasn't such a bad thing. Heaven was going to make everything was going to get better.
I knew they all loved me and they will always be with me. I would see them all. . . someday. And we'd be together again, like how we used to be.
And I was happy.
Not even loo-kem-ya could ruin it.
. . . And I was gone.
A/N: So, how was it? I'd really like to know. Comments, suggestions, and even criticism are all welcome.