16I Wish I Had The Nerve
By Microsuede Mouse
:Shrug: I hopped on a Train of Thought and missed my stop, going a lot further than I meant to. This is the result.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you how much I love talking to you. You're honest, and polite, and funny, and you listen and ask really good questions. You like my poems, and the last one I told you, all you said was 'Wow.' It wasn't much, but somehow it was pretty special. And do you know how great it is to hear you say my name? You don't say it, often – usually you just tap me on the shoulder or something – but when you do say it, it makes me feel warm inside. Like you were meant to say it. I like saying your name a lot, too; it's one of my favourite names – it has been since before I even knew you.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you how cute you are. Every time I look at you, I think part of my heart melts. You're just adorable! And let me tell you, that's something special. I don't like words like 'hot' or 'sexy'. Because I don't use words like that, it makes the few I do use even more valuable. But honestly, I have to say that you're about as cute as it gets. I love your hair, and your eyes, and your nose, and – funny as it might sound – your eyebrows, too. I love all of it!
I wish I had the nerve to tell you how much I like just being in your presence. We just sit there, sometimes doing nothing at all – nothing to speak of, that is – but I still enjoy it. I can watch you, or just think about you without having to be afraid you'll hear my thoughts. In fact, sometimes I don't think about you at all and my mind just wanders. But I like that – I hate being all flustered and embarrassed and distracted by the presence of just one person. It's wonderful that I can be so comfortable around you.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you just how I feel about you. Maybe this is too early – I mean, I've got my whole life ahead of me, right? But you see, that's exactly the thing. If I don't take a chance with you, will I regret it? I think I might. I have a feeling that I would wonder forever what we might have been, how you would have reacted to my telling you. Who knows – maybe you do like me as more than just a friendly acquaintance, and I'm too oblivious to notice. Sometime, I'm going to have to try – but I have no clue how I would go about it.
But... I will have to try.
Because I love you, Hayden.
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Anna sat back in her seat, smiling slightly. It felt good to have written all of that down and get it off her chest. She folded the letter and slid it carefully into her bag.
Two days later, as Anna got up from her desk, the paper fell out of her schoolbag and landed on the floor. A tall boy picked it up and was about to call to her that she dropped something, but the paper unfolded; and when he saw his name on it, he paused, then tucked it into his pocket to read later.
The next day – a Saturday – Anna was sitting quietly on a bench in the park, watching the pigeons thoughtfully. She saw out of the corner of her eye someone sit beside her, and turned to look at them. She had barely recognized him before he kissed her.
When Hayden pulled away, Anna thought she might wake up from a disarmingly realistic dream, but if it was a dream, it didn't stop there.
"What...?" That was all she could manage to say.
Hayden smiled a bit and pushed something into her hand... Something paper. She looked at it and was shocked and slightly embarrassed to see that it was the letter to him that she never actually meant for him to see.
"How...?"
"You dropped this in English. It was very... Interesting."
"In... A good way... Or... A bad way?"
Hayden wrapped his arms around her slim waist and kissed her again, this time lingering longer. He rested his forehead against hers, rubbing their noses together, and smiled. "Does that answer your question?"
Anna nodded, causing both of their heads to bob up and down. "So... You... Like me too?"
Hayden smiled, pushed another piece of paper into her hand, and stood up and walked away. Confused, Anna looked at the paper. As she read it, her eyes widened; and when she finished it, she jumped off the bench and ran after him. She grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and threw her arms around him.
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I wish I had the nerve to tell you how much I love your voice. I think it's one of the loveliest things I've ever heard. It's like music. It just fills up my ears like there's no other sound in the universe, and I never want it to fade away. Only one thing could ever sound nicer, and that's your laughter. It's even more like music than your voice is; and every time I'm the one that made you laugh, you take another piece of my heart away with you. It's incredible.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you how pretty you are. Your eyes are like windows, windows into some kind of beautiful utopia. Your hair is so shiny and soft and fair, you don't know how many times I've caught myself reaching out to stroke it. You have a cute little nose and a cute little mouth and when you smile, it's just to die for.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you how much I like sharing time with you. I'm so perfectly content with talking, or reading your poetry, or doing a project – heck, I'm pleased just to be comparing answers on a math assignment! Even if we're just sitting around, absorbed in our own thoughts, it's a wonderful thing to be around you.
I wish I had the nerve to tell you exactly how much I want to be with you. So badly I want to hold you close to me and feel your embrace. I want to hug you, and kiss you, and spend time with you each and every day. I want you to know how strongly I feel about you, and I'm going to try. I'm going to just walk up and kiss you, because that's the only way I can possibly express this emotion.
I'm going to do it.
Because I love you too, Anna.
That was unexpected. What part, you ask? Most of it. All I had when I started this was the line 'I wish I had the nerve to tell you how cute you are.' The rest was totally and completely on the ball. So if it's good, I'm doubly pleased. But that part's up to you! Tell me what you think, please! A nice reviewer will be thanked, and constructive criticism is all right as long as you're positive about it (positive as in nice). Flames, however, are not appreciated.
Thanks for reading, though! Have a great morning/afternoon/evening/day/night!
Signed with a flourish,
-Microsuede Mouse