38How many Characters does it take to Save the World?
Difo (Dĭ-fō) 1: An insult or title given to a moronic person.
(Usage: "You forgot the catsup again, you Difo? Why are
you being such a Difo?") 2: A breed of salmon
that has no brain. 3: A character who lives with
several other people named: Mino, Kale, Vixo,
etc.
Mino: Well… that confirms it.
Difo: What?
Mino: Nothing.
Pury: Are you reading the dictionary? I love reading the dictionary! I learn so much from it. I even have all the X's memorized.
Difo: Eggzes!
Pury: No. X's, as in the plural for the letter X.
Difo: Purple eggzes?
Mino: Has anyone seen Vixo recently?
Pury: Hmm… He said something earlier about umm… I can't remember now.
Mino: I get worried when Vixo stops making noise for five minutes.
Difo: Don't be so worried. Vixo told me he was just going to the store to get some deodorant. No, wait. That was Joe who said that.
Mino: Joe?
Difo: Yeah, Joe. He's standing right next to you.
Mino: There's no one standing next to me.
Difo: What's that, Joe? No! I don't think that Mino is a grouch! How dare you say that?!
Mino and Pury: Riiiight.
Kale: Hey guys.
Pury: What happened to your boyfriend, Chris?
Kale: Chris overheard Mino humming the Mr. Rogers theme and he had an allergy attack.
Mino: I don't hum.
Kale: Sure you do. Whenever you go into the bathroom when you think no one can hear.
Mino: You can hear me in the bathroom?!
Pury: I wanted to tell you but I also didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. It's so heartbreaking when you tell someone something that ruins their day.
Mino: My day is ruined now!
Kale: Well… since your day is already ruined, I might as well tell you that you have a terrible singing voice.
Difo: And you also make loud fart noises.
Mino: Gee, thanks!
Pury: You know who else hasn't been around for a while? Zuby.
Person reading this: Who is Zuby again? (flips back to chapter 1) Oh yeah, the lazy one.
Mino: Yes, the lazy one.
Kale: Come to think of it, I haven't seen him for a long time.
Meanwhile…
Vixo: Ha ha ha! Who's the man? I'm the man!
Zuby: Could you be quiet? This is my favorite commercial.
Announcer: Tired of losing your hair?
Zuby: Well just come down to Bob's house O' hair regrowth.
Announcer: Well just come down to Bob's house O' hair regrowth!
Vixo: Okay, that's freaky.
Zuby: No wait! Here's the best part.
Zuby singing along with the announcer: Bob's house, the hair house!
Vixo: That's it! No more T.V. for you!
Zuby: Hey. I was watching that.
Vixo: Well if you want to keep watching, you'll have to walk across the room and turn on the T.V. yourself.
Zuby: You're mean.
Vixo: Well I did kidnap you! Now take this remote.
Zuby: But this isn't the T.V. remote.
Vixo: This one is better. Push a button, and a missile get's launched at a major country's capital.
Zuby: (Gasp) You want me to launch the missiles because of my remote skills.
Vixo: Correct! With you launching the missiles and me doing the planning, I WILL RULE THE WORLD! Wa ha ha ha!
Zuby: I'll never help you. Ouch! Why did you pinch me? Ouch! Stop it.
Vixo: Not until you help me.
Zuby: Do your worst. Ouch! Okay, I'll help you, but please don't do the evil laugh. It's so annoying.
Vixo: Now you just ruined my day! I've been working on that laugh since high-school.
Meanwhile…
Difo: Remember that time we threw out that old couch?
Pury: Yeah.
Difo: Well what if poor Zuby had been sleeping on it and sank into the cushions?
Pury: And we never would have seen him! I thought that couch was a little heavy when Vixo and I threw it out, but I had just assumed that that was because Vixo wasn't doing as much work as me. I'm a terrible person for thinking that.
Kale: Nope. Zuby's in Vixo's room.
Mino: Are you sure?
Kale: Yeah. I could hear Zuby's usual moan followed by Vixo's evil laugh.
Mino: Oh no! What if Vixo is using Zuby's remote control skills to launch missiles?!
Difo: Don't be silly!
Mino: But it makes perfect sense!
Difo: I was talking to Joe, Mino. Now what were you saying, Joe? Oh yeah. (giggle)
Pury: I can't imagine the kind of torture that Vixo is putting poor Zuby through.
Meanwhile…
Zuby: This is torture! Can't I please watch T.V. while I launch the missiles?
Vixo: No! You must be clear mined for this!
Zuby: You know, if Captain Kirk were here he would say-
Vixo: But he's not! So start pushing!
Mino: No, Zuby! Don't listen to him!
Zuby: But if I do, Vixo will take away my T.V. rights for a whole week.
Vixo: Drats! How did you find my evil lair?
Mino: This is your bedroom, Vixo! Look, there's you're stash of girly magazines.
Vixo: Note to self: Find better place for my secret lair.
Mino: Take this!
(KICK) (PUNCH) (ELBOW)
Vixo: AHH! That really hurts! My Doctor says that getting beat up could be bad for my health!
Mino: Oh… sorry.
Vixo: Really?
Mino: No!
(PUNCH)
Pury: You did it! You saved the world!
Difo: Thank you! Thank you very much! I always knew that I would become great one day, no matter what my mom said!
Kale: Yea! But umm… uhh… where's Sate now?
Vixo: Uh-oh. I hope they don't find my gun that runs off of depression.
Mino: Who cares?
Mino Kale and Difo: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Pury: I-I care.
Mino: Come on everyone lets go get some ice cream!
Difo: Yea! But please don't put eggzes on mine please.
Vixo: Yes! I would love some Ice cream!
Mino: Not for you, Vixo! You are going to go clean all the bathrooms in the building!
Vixo: And what if I don't?
Mino: Then I'll make you watch T.V. with Zuby.
Vixo: AHH! That just ruined my day… again!